Aibu by being upset about dd's treatment by football club

So has your dd been the only goalkeeper up to now? What happens if she's injured or ill or can't play for some other reason?

A team needs have more than one goalkeeper incase your daughter is unable to play at any point.

sounds like your daughter needs this wake up call, she’s committed to this team this season so should stop being a brat and play.

This is normal for outfield players though, subs are made often so that everyone gets match time. As they get older it gets a bit more serious and they need additional numbers. If you don’t show up because she’s not getting a full game, that’s a crappy attitude.

Truthfully she sounds very immature if her first response to another goal keeper joining the team is to quit.

It's perfectly normal for a team to have multiple goal keepers and this girl has had one poor game. She doesn't sound very supportive or much of a team player.

We’re not a football family but it seems very risky to just have one keeper on a squad, what happens if she’s injured or not available one week? DD plays netball, she’s GS and there are about 4 shooters on the squad (covering GS and GA) to be sure there are always 2 available.

The other girl won't improve without playing time. Same as every other player. Your daughter needs to realize that she can't be the only keeper. Nobody on a TEAM can be indispensable.

So she's the only GK allowed on the team?

The coach decides the team.

Yabu.
Accpet the coachs decisions or leave. If every parent got involved everytime a player was unhappy with their game time noone would ever be a coach.
Mum of a gk here too. If she isnt getting the game time she wants she accepts it or has to move teams.

That's normal for any position in any spots team. Sometimes you play the whole match, sometimes you get brought on for part of the match and sometimes you are just on the bench. You still turn up at every game regardless to support. That's all part of being on a team.

You need to share the home games 50/50 and take turns with away matches or just share them all.

If she doesn’t want to play anymore then so be it. There is no point in making her do something that is supposed to be her hobby if she doesn’t want to do it. I would not allow her to say that she is upset because she can’t stay because she can stay, she doesn’t want to stay.

I would not complain about her treatment because I don’t really see what there is to complain about. There is another girl, they are doing one game each at your request.

I would not ask for fees to be refunded on an activity that my child chose to quit.

Am I being unreasonable if I complain about her treatment and get the registration fees refunded?

Totally unreasonable. Your DD hasn't been treated poorly, it's very normal to have more than one goalie on a team, just as it's normal to have subs for any position.

They initially wanted them to spilt each game and we said no as we didnt want to travel to the faraway games or 40 miles for 30 mins playing time and could they do 1 game on and 1 game off

I'm amazed that the coach agreed to this - my DH was a kids football coach for many years, and several of the kids would get only 30 minutes of play each week - otherwise, it wouldn't be fair to the subs, having to travel to a game just to sit on the sidelines, while some children played the full game. If a parent had asked that their child played the whole game or they wouldn't attend, DH would have given them short shrift.

Football is a team game. It's very normal for players to only play part of a game, especially in kids football, where the coach may be trying to give fairly equal game time. If your DD doesn't want to play anymore, that's her choice I suppose, but I would be encouraging her to go along and play, even if she doesn't get a full game. I certainly wouldn't be making a complaint to the club.

If she doesn't want to leave then why make her?

Being in a team is about far more than playing 30 mins in a match. Does she not go to training sessions with the whole team.

Unless she's playing at an elite level a good coach will normally swap kids in & out to let them have a fair turn.

A team needs more than one girl as goalie. What happens to the rest of the team if she's ill, injured or on holiday etc.

I think it's one of those times where you need to have the 'its not the winning but taking part' and 'teamwork' chats before she turns into a brat.

If she's a higher level than the other girls then maybe it's time she tries out for a bigger club, although she may find that she has much less match time (and maybe not in the team at all)

One of my dc does athletics. We travel hours for eleven seconds.

Both my children play. My daughter is 16, my son 13. They’ve played for years and we’ve travelled miles every weekend. We have never gone to a match expecting them to play the whole game. It is slightly different for goalies but I know many grassroots clubs with more than 1 goalie and they rotate.

My DS played at pro youth level, was signed for a Scottish premier team throughout his teens and the first day he got signed the manager told him they would always be looking for a player that is better to take his place, that’s the nature of football.
Your DD doesn’t sound particularly nice if she’s not happy that she’s to compete for her place.
Good on the coach for giving this new girl a chance

She needs to use this other goalkeeper to help her push her on and make her better at her game. Don't see her as a threat but as a chance to up her game. There will always be competition. If she keeps playing her best she will stand out.
I agree that you shouldnt be splitting games with the other keeper half and half as this benefits nobody.

A team needs more than one goalie! It’s incredibly petulant to flounce over it.

Ah yes this.

Tho if they are running 11secs, even if a boy, that's not bad (unless they are actually like 21). But yes, we used to travel a long way to watch a minute of running. Then sometimes stay till the end to watch another half a minute. I started officiating so I had something to do haha.

@Ceceprincess80 I agree with others. Two GK is totally standard surely. My Ds played in goals and there were two on his team (at least; sometimes a third player who could sub in). Sometimes he was first choice, sometimes second. Totally normal to be going to away matches and not playing the full match. That's what the outfield players do as well, or many of them.

She doesn't want to play with the team anymore. Ok then she had better quit. But it's not showing a great attitude or team spirit.

Your and your DD need to understand that this is a team game. Maybe its not for her.

Peter Shilton and Ray Clemence share the England No1 shirt for years. They didn't do too badly out of it.

YABVU. As per all the comments already posted.

We have had this, same age too after being there for several years.

We moved to a different (and actually better team) because they wouldn’t make a decision and then decided they in fact did want them only after they knew we had signed up for the other team.

We went with the thought that if the coach wants two keepers, that’s fine, but you don’t have to say yes. Good life skill in teaching your daughter her worth.

”If there is no longer a space at the table for you, find one where there is.”

We went with the thought that if the coach wants two keepers, that’s fine, but you don’t have to say yes. Good life skill in teaching your daughter her worth.

So you think your dd should be the only goalkeeper. She's playing in a really important match. She's injured and has to come off.

Then what?

Good lord. Imagine speaking about a child like that.

you alright hun?

I’m amazed at expecting a full game unless she’s clearly the strongest player on the team. My son plays competitive basketball and you earn your court minutes. His wish for getting into a team next year is to get into a team where he is the 5th strongest player so he is strongly motivated to improve as he has to fight for his place in the starting 5.
if the whole game is more normal for your DDs team, sharing home games half each and alternating away games is the way to go. Tell her if she’s that much better everyone will know that, and feel safer when she’s on, so keep up the standard.