Does this parenting phase happen to everyone and when does it end?

Yes, 3 year olds are exhausting. It's perfectly normal to be ready to take them to bed and have some alone time after 12 hours.

You are in the parenting trenches right now... it's tough... but it will pass.
Honestly I had 4 kids aged 5 and under (yes we were nuts!) and now I have two grandchildren I look after.. aged 5 and 19m.
From about 3 I implemented Mum/Gran is drinking her coffee = go play with your toys. During that blissful 20 mins, I don't play, I don't respond to inane chatter, I jusr repeat that its time to play by yourself. Takes a while to implement but it saves my sanity.. and actually I think is really good for the children too as they do need to learn independent play! The rest of the day I'm fully engaged.

They improve a fair bit by 4 and after school dgs is so knackered we generally put on Hamza or Steve Backshall and watch an animal programme!

This will pass... hang in there and don't feel guilty... 3 year olds are HARD work!

I was a single parent, and there was no contact with the dad, so I had to do it all myself all the time. But I got breaks when he was at nursery. I used to go to soft play and let him go and do his thing while I had a coffee. I also set ground rules and boundaries so I had mental space for myself even if I couldn't leave him. It's ok to request quiet time or for him to engage in an activity while you do something else.

I have a grandchild with ADHD now, and the questions and talking are absolutely constant (I have him lots, sometimes 10 days at a time on my own for holidays). Again, I put boundaries in place, else I would go potty I think. He is expected to do an activity quietly for short periods.

Make good use of sleep routines as well. I would enjoy the few hours after bedtime to myself.

My grandson doesn't wake early so I always get an hour in the morning for coffee and wordle in peace, and it's just a really calming way to start the day.

It’s a 3 thing. Also 4, 5 and 6 in my case, then a lot more breathing time and being able to smile at interactions because it’s all more chilled and less runaway train!!!

Personally I think it should be illegal to leave one parent to solo parent at this age. No wonder you’re furious. I don’t think we are designed to do this entirely alone.

@EightfourtenWhen he seeks a response from you, you don’t have to always give it! Just don’t keep acknowledging him. You don’t need this continual emotional response. He’s just learning he can keep badgering you to get responses. Obviously you need a rest from the questions (I think bright dc ask questions) but you maybe have to be tougher.

yes that phase does end OP. I’ve been a single parent since my Dd was 1 so I completely understand how full on it can be when you don’t get a break! I used to think if I heard the word “mum” one more time id explode…..it was the constant “muuuuummm” at the start of each sentence

it gradually gets easier over time so there’s not like a point in time where it gets easier overnight but you will get more and more time to yourself. They’ll eventually learn to play/watch a film independently and in a few years he’ll being having lots of play dates etc. I used to always invite Dds friends round as I actually found that easier than being a single parent to an only child.

now my Dd is 12 and I actually get excited if she wants to spend one on one time with me 😂

sounds like you’re doing an amazing job - don’t be too hard on yourself

Give yourself a break; it’s exhausting and you’re doing it basically on your own.

Just try to ensure you’re getting plenty of sleep, early nights and eating well - it really helps with the resilience levels. I know it’s tempting to sit up late on your phone when it’s your only “you” time, but it catches up with you.

Hang on in there.

If you have Android auto or the iPhone equivalent you can play the Yoto cards via your car speakers without needing to have the Yoto there - might solve the sibling squabble? Although they might then argue about which story instead... downside being you have to hear it, of course, but some cars you can change it to only the rear speakers

I really recommend a Yoto if you can afford one, my 3.5 year old loves hers and is constantly listening to topsy and tim. Seems to extend her solo play time significantly and also means I don't have so much tv time guilt. Bluetooth headphones also a good idea for the car! Precious downtime

It definitely is an introvert/extrovert thing, I like to socialise but am an introvert in terms of needing quiet time to recharge

Thank god I'm not a solo parent, I'd never cope, I'm so full of awe at the way solo parents hold it all together 👏

It is definitely not just you, OP.
3 is so hard! Of all the ages and stages leading up to our current 3yrs 8 months, 3 has provided some of the biggest parental rollercoasters.
I think for me an experience today really sums it up:
We went to RHS Bridgewater and she was a bit cranky, but not too bad, had a brilliant time playing and saw a couple of friends ... then it was time to go and we had a level 5 tantrum! It was mega!
Bundled her into the car, stayed calm and quiet, and eventually the storm passed.
We got home and I helped her blow her nose and we had a cuddle, I set her up with an episode of Bluey so I could go to the bathroom. Two minutes later there is knock at the door:
"Mummy? Are you okay in there?"
"Yes, love. I'll just be a minute."
"Can I come in?"
"No."
"Can I wait outside?"
"Okay."
"Yay!! I can't wait to see you!"

They push our buttons and drive us bonkers, but who else is genuinely delighted to be allowed to wait outside a toilet door for us and would rather do that than watch their favourite show?!
If anyone else gave us that kind of emotional whiplash, we'd be mad to stick with them, but three is it's own kind of magic.

Keep going @Eightfourten . To borrow from dear Bluey: "there's something you need to know: you're doing great" ❤️

Lots of dads work away (services) and have to go abroad. There’s many women coping with more than one child. Many dads work long hours and don’t do that much. I don’t see why this dad won’t do more at the weekends when he is around though. No-one ever goes to court to say they want less contact time though do they?

Hopefully ex can take him next weekend. Working full time is tough in itself let alone with a 3 year old to occupy and house to run .

I googled some game ideas where you get to lie down 😆

The "Sick Patient" Game: You lie on the sofa or floor wrapped in a blanket. He is the doctor. His job is to listen to your heartbeat, put plasters on you, or "check your temperature." You get to lie completely still in silence.

The Beauty Salon: Lie on the floor on a pillow. Give him a hairbrush, some bobbles, or a couple of makeup brushes (with no makeup on them). Let him "style" your hair or brush your face.

The Sleeping Giant / Zoo Keeper: You are a sleeping bear or giant. He has to quietly sneak around the room to build a "cage" around you with cushions or toys without waking you up. If he makes a noise, you just give a little snore.

The "Draw on Mum's Back" Game: Lie on your front. Tell him your back is a canvas and he has to trace shapes, cars, or letters on your back with his finger, and you have to "guess" what it is. It’s basically a free, albeit chaotic, back massage. Loads more ideas online but didn't want to overwhelm you when you already are 😊

I still feel
like this now and mine are older so not sure it’s an age thing but tbh they haven’t seen their father in 3 years

@Debatingthings I know but when something is on in the car he just talks over it whereas when it’s on headphones, he doesn’t. Thanks, though! The problem is that the younger one hasn’t quite got the skills to just put the card in and listen, wants the same song x 100, keeps taking the card in and out and then has a tantrum, I am very much hoping that this will improve soon!