Does this parenting phase happen to everyone and when does it end?

I really really struggled on days when my girls should have been with their dad.

It was like my brain kept adding “and you’re meant to be having a break today…” to every annoying thing, which of course made them even more relentless and annoying.

It does get easier. It’s hard though, it’s very very hard.

I have a 3 and 4 year old . Big difference in that 18 months. My 3 year old is incredible but wants constant interaction. I sometimes could scream . And I’m not a lone parent so you are doing amazing.
i try to always get out on weekends then that takes some energy out of them. Use the TV for an hours relief!!!

Oh age 3! Get a cheap Amazon fire, download bbc app put on CBeebies he can wear Bluetooth headphones you sit next to him on the sofa or like I did scandalously IN BED with a cup of tea. You get 20 mins peace. Works a treat. Start with Tractor Ted or Teletubbies and work your way up. A few times a day 15-20 mins max. Resets the old sanity. If you can train him to wear the headphones in the car you’re onto a winner.

I feel like this with my 2 year old and my husband really does his 50% of the work so I can only imagine how hard it is alone. My mum was a single mum and now I understand why she was frazzled and shouted at me constantly. I feel like that by the time my husband takes over so I could easily end up like that if I got no breaks. Solidarity and don't feel bad, you're doing your best and it's so hard

Ignore, remind him of the rules, reward good behaviour etc

3 was a very hard age for me. I also think this was never how we were supposed to do it. We used to bring children with a village precisely because it’s impossible not to get irritated with a child for 10 days straight and no respite. It sounds like you’re doing brilliantly OP. This too shall pass xx

You are not a shit parent but your ex is.

Ah, try ‘mm hmm’ mode every time he says something. Or remind him ‘this is mummy’s quiet time’ and don’t engage further.

My friend made her four kids have an hour in their rooms every day after lunch until the youngest went to school. They’re all fine. Constant attention isn’t a necessity.

As others have said - it does honestly get better. You're in the exhausting, chatty trenches now. I echo the 'give yourself an evening off from the chores regularly'. I used to hide in the bath so I didn't see all the stuff I 'should' be doing and read for hours. I also did the 'we don't chatter at Mummy until she's had her coffee in the morning' and made tidying up a game before bed so I wasn't having to do it after bedtime. With my eldest, I got her to 'help' load and unload the washing machine and play 'the sock game' (both have a damp sock on a hand and see who can get it dirtiest by cleaning surfaces) because 1. Helped a bit with chores and left more evening downtime 2. Kept her a bit distracted and unclingy for 5 mins. None of it was laziness (although it might sound it) - I didn't want to keep getting snappy with her and realised I needed some downtime

I remember feeling like this with my five year old last May. I felt so awful about it but at the same time furious. I just wanted to zone out and relax and he kept demanding my attention with inane questions and observations ‘mummy there is a tree’.

The problem is the more I pulled back the more he came at me and we ended up in such a horrible cycle.

I do massively sympathise though @Eightfourten . I remember asking ChatGPT why I was so furiously angry all the time and it’s a sign of burnout and I was.

And yeah asking mine for a bit of peace doesn’t work; they adhere to it for five seconds and then just start talking again!

Do things that involve others so it’s less intense. If it’s just you and him constantly it’s not going to work and anyone would feel mad. Do the essential chores while he’s watching the telly or eating his meals. Not after you’ve put him to bed. That is your precious time.

YANBU. I really struggled with the stage between dropping naps (so 2.5ish) and about 4 and a half. I was either at work, on the way to or from nursery or on the floor playing Hot Wheels City or football in the garden. He also required 90 minutes of shushing and hand-holding to sleep. It was really hard and I had DH to help. One of the many reasons we stopped at one!

I feel the same sometimes, also single parent. I hate it when your trying to have a semi serious conversation, you haven’t spoken to another adult for 3 days and you ask them a question about something and they ignore you and then proceed to say ‘Mummy, why do birds fly in the sky’ because they are fecking birds that’s why!!!!! I really want to try and make some friends in a similar situation that I can hang out with but I find making friends so difficult.

DD can't be with her Dad unsupervised right now. Even if she could I think she's done 3 overnights since May last year. His usual is a few hours every other weekend. But I've been there too since May this year. A friend took her too a party this morning so I had a couple of hours. She's 6. You are in the trenches and superwoman. Make life as easy as you can, screen time/drop the house to bare minimum etc etc. It sounds like you're doing everything right. You can't pour from an empty cup.

Its so hard. Ive been solo parenting since January and am fucking exhausted. To make it worse my little one is unwell with croup and we were in hospital until 3am last night, he still woke up at 8am so running on about 4.5 hours sleep. Hes still awake now. (Hes 2 next month so did nap)

And i havent even got to the "terrible twos" or the incessant questions yet

I do love being his mum, its amazing and magical etc, but it wasnt made for one person and i am so resentful that I get no downtime and I cant be the parent I always wanted to be, as I'm parenting for two. Two parents can tap in or out, hey its your get up tomorrow, can you do the night shift, I'm going up for a bath and a rest etc. Theres just none of that and it has massively (negatively) impacted my parenting experience. Its sad as I love it so much, and I know how much more I coulf have loved it if things were different. But yes, its impossibly hard and exhausting and relentless and overwhelming.

I feel you x

My middle child was an absolute joy. I never felt that for a second.

My first and third? Jesus wept, I don’t know how I am still here.

I wasn’t a single parent but a SAHM and dh worked long hours. Hats off to you, I couldn’t have been a single parent to those two, it would have done me in not being able to snatch 15 minutes to scream into a pillow after a long day.

Agree with others that you need to be more firm with the “mummy’s busy” “it’s quiet time now “

one thing is that kids that age have no sense of time…so get a visual count down clock that when hands point up it’s end of quiet time, teach them how to see how much time is left

something like this
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Learning-60-Minute-Countdown-Management-Classroom/dp/B0FKBKTKTR/ref=asc_df_B0FKBKTKTR?mcid=f25d94a362033406bb40e20eec2cd9cc&tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=768982807085&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=17762828652522765468&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9190836&hvtargid=pla-2443186738995&hvocijid=17762828652522765468-B0FKBKTKTR-&hvexpln=0&gad_source=1&th=1

make it fun, reward a sticker or a nice activity once it goes off. Start with short time, more frequently, then build up to less frequent, longer…though 20 mins at 3 is probably a decent amount 3 times in day.

yep, phases change, but the sooner you start getting your child used to being bored the better! Being bored is vital for promoting their own creativity, imagination, and self regulation…everyday should include small periods where you do NOT engage or lead their play…walk away or turn your back or pick up a book etc.

all phases, delightful or horrible, eventually come to an end around 22-23. Some you will love, some you’ll hate, some you’ll smash, some will smash you. But they do change and evolve…

I remember my mum telling me that when I was little and she felt like this, in her head she would pretend she was the nanny instead of the parent. I tried it when mine were wee and it so works!

They have improved @Eightfourten although a lot of it was i actually came to understand it was DH I was furious at and not DS. I felt I’d been left parenting solo (in your case you have been) and I was filled with resentment and this boiling rage and it was like a pot with a closed lid where bits of the horrible stuff kept seeping out.

People fell you to get a break but it isn’t that easy. Even if you do get a babysitter (and that’s so so SO much money; I honestly don’t know if people even realise you’re looking at around £50 for three hours away from children!) you still then have to get everything ready for the babysitter and this is DS’s toothbrush and he has milk before bed but not in the red cup and this book about tractors flying around in space is his favourite so by the time you’ve done all of that and you’re £50 down it doesn’t feel like a break, does it?

I did have to tell ds to stfu yesterday (I did say it much more kindly than that obviously!) I’d bought him an ice cream and he was just relentlessly talking and out parking was running out and the ice cream was melting and I could feel myself getting frustrated tbh but I just said ‘if you haven’t eaten that in X minutes we’re going to have to bin it!’ which did the trick. Actually would your ds munch on an apple or something? Food temporarily shuts mine up. Alternatively he is quiet if he’s listening to his Yoto in the car but I can’t do that often as he has a sister who would kick off. I’m longing for when they can both operate it themselves and then they’ll hopefully let me drive in bloody peace.

I would try and find someone to play date swap with so you get a couple of hours of silence. I also found 2/3/4 easier than that 1 to 1 intensity of inane questions/talk.

I’ve done this or that he’s my friends child. I have infinite patience for other children!

Should also say..you’re doing a blinding job…yep it’s normal to want to scream 😱…even when they come home from uni aged 18-21 and behave like bellends you still have times you want to 😱😰🏃‍♀️
but, hang in…you’ll hit times when you and they are just all 🥳🤗🥰🥹👏🏻