Does this parenting phase happen to everyone and when does it end?

Everybody hits the wall sometimes, I think that’s perfectly normal. 10 days in a row as a single parent would feel like a lot because it IS a lot. You are not a weakling or an unreasonable person.

Oh yes, totally normal. I felt the exact same when mine was that age and I split parenting 50/50 so get plenty of breaks!
I think three year olds need to be around other three year olds. Does he go to nursery?
Also, there is light at the end of the tunnel!! We went through this phase during Covid and I found it extremely difficult. You are not a bad person. You are human. It gets much easier once they turn 4 (broadly speaking) and then (in my experience) continues to get easier and easier thereafter. I swear once he was old enough to take to a soft play and left to go off and play and I could sit and have a coffee everything felt so much easier!

I think you’re doing really well tbh, three year olds could break most people.
I always prayed for bedtime at that age, but would then realise I had to DO bedtime.
And yes it does end.

You can't and shouldn't have to do this alone. Totally understandable to feel like this if you're not getting any support and time off. Can you find a way to have some time to yourself?

3 was the hardest age for me (apart from that initial newborn sleep deprivation stage). Life got so much better at 4+. He’s 6 now and even more amazing!

Can you take a day of annual leave while he’s in nursery to just be by yourself and take a break? Sometimes it’s needed

I was a lone parent for years. It can be brutal on a Saturday I found. When he goes to bed do nothing, no chores or anything just decompress the way you need. 3 is a difficult age, they need so much engagement and they are too young for rugby/tennis/stagecoach. He will be 4 soon so you can start him in something that gives you a bit of a break…even if it’s going for coffee or a quick swim.

It's ok to say not right now! It must feel super intense doing it alone all the time. My 3 year old would have me tell him stories 'with your voice' all day and it's physically impossible. If we're in the car, I say 'sorry, Mummy has to concentrate on the road' and if we're at home and I run out of energy I busy myself doing something and then say 'later, I am just doing...x y z'. It feels mean but it's not! I justify it by thinking, if I completely burn out that's worse than occasionally gently telling him he needs to wait for my attention :)

Oh yes, parenting can be difficult are different stages, especially when feeling burnt out.
You need downtime. He is old enough to understand.

Bloody hell I’m married to a man who shoulders 50% of the graft and I STILL feel like this. It’s completely normal. You can love your kids more than anything in the world and also find it stressful, overwhelming and just plain old shit sometimes.

You’re doing incredible, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

I think it might be an introvert versus extrovert thing.
(Where the only difference is extroverts are energised and introverts are drained by being around people.)
I have really nice moments all the time with my kids but when I'm on my own for long periods with them, I need pockets of down time.

It's a having a three year old thing.

He's on the cusp of becoming an engaging little companion, so grit your teeth through the tantrums, try and give a calm response to his questions and before long, you'll be able to plonk him down on a surface whilst you get on with something and he'll just chat to about his day, his thoughts and you'll enjoy it and him a lot more.

You do not sound like the worst mum in the world. You are, I'm sure, not a remotely awful person. You are just coping mostly alone with what is the inherently stressful, magical, exhausting, complicated business of raising a child.

It doesn't matter if other people tell you that they find it all easy and delightful. Fair comparisons don't exist because:

• Some children happen to be inherently more exhausting than others;
• Some stages of child development can be inherently tougher than others, or we might be inherently less suited to them by temperament (personally I have a 3-year-old and I love the questions and the silly voices, but I found the first 9 months of being a mum really really tough. There will probably be phases in the future that I find really tough. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses);
• We all come to parenthood with different vulnerabilities: different life experiences, different personalities, different things that trigger our emotions. We haven't all been on the same journey through life and that inevitably impacts on what presses our buttons;
• We all have different levels of support around us. I have a partner who gives me breaks and shares the load. You do not. Some people have loads of wider family or friends who support them and share the load. Many do not:
• We all have different financial and practical resources. Some parents can throw money at fancy days out and kiddie classes and distractions and babysitters at the drop of a hat, whilst some cannot. Some of us live an easy distance from playgrounds and interesting places to visit and supportive families, and some of us do not.

Please don't blame yourself for what you feel.

If you want practical advice, I'm sure there is plenty that could help, but ideally it would be provided by someone who knows you and the context of your life rather than by strangers who don't understand the specifics of your situation, your personality and the personality of your kid.

I taught my dc that when mummy has a cup of tea they need to leave me alone until I finished it. I remember another mum being horrified but I needed to save my sanity. I’m not a single mum but have 3 dc including twins. Age 3 they are really funny but my goodness, that stage was exhausting. I’d be resentful of ex in your situation.

This is the point at which I put the TV on, provide snacks and retreat tbh. We've all been told that screen time is less than ideal, which I get, but so is having a parent who is completely parented out. Sometimes it's about picking the lesser evil.

Totally normal and you’re doing an amazing job. I’m not a solo parent, but if DH is away on a work trip or something I try and get house jobs done in the day so once bedtime is over I can just relax. Easier said than done with a three year old I know. I’ll say eg, I need to do the washing up. Let’s pick something to we can listen to while I do that and you can listen and play with X Y or Z,’ - the CBeebies podcasts are a hit with my three year old - Mr Tumble and Numberblocks. Also we do fantasy games that involve my character having a bedtime - manage to get in micro naps that way. And I’m a big fan of good quality screen time and sometimes we eat in front of a programme or film that we can enjoy together.

Absolutely this - sometimes you have to just ignore everything and do nothing once they're in bed. Sometimes I'd stay up late just to feel normal, even though I knew I'd be paying for it by being knackered later, but it was worth it to not feel like my life was entirely someone else's

You need to cut yourself some slack.
Three years old are a bit of a pain in the ass.
Make sure he doesn't nap, bed at a decent time after lots of outdoor time in morning and let him watch some TV (like the Julia Donaldson stuff on BBC iPlayer - 20 ISH mins each) so you can have some respite.

It's hard work. I also think it's almost harder with just one. I had another when my son was 2 so he had a playmate from 3.

At this age with my DD favourite thing was when you get out of the car before you go round to get the child from their seat in the back. The silence! It was like a mini holiday. She was (and is) funny, clever, charming. But still three! It will get better, and you’ll congratulate yourself for getting through this stage.

@Eightfourten Do you ever say “No. Mummy is busy”? I even used to say “BE Quiet! if it was too much. He really needs to learn to respect your requests and if you say not now, you mean it. You don’t have to keep responding and giving him what he wants. Say you are busy. Say he has to wait. If he has a tantrum, stick to your guns. If you are driving say you need to drive safely! Learn to not answer from time to time. He’s an only child so he’s only got you for most of the time and he’s clearly attention seeking. It’s perfectly ok for you to say “ I’m busy - just wait!”

Get dad to have him one weekend in two. Get him picked up on a Friday and back with you Sunday evening. He’s being a bit light on parenting. Why can he not do more when he’s around?

You don't HAVE to give them your full attention at all times.
You can have some rules like - quiet time in the car, mummy's listening to the radio.
Mummy's sitting down and having a coffee so don't bother her.
30 minutes quiet time after lunch so go and play in your room until the timer goes off.
Can you tell I'm a big fan of quiet time 😂

It’s ok to say ‘mummy is having some quiet time while we drive to Tesco, why don’t you look at your books’ for example. You are not a servant to a tiny human. He will grow up just fine because you are clearly an excellent mother, but it’s also ok to set some boundaries. I used to have coffee time during which the kids knew I sat on my butt for 15 minutes 🤣

Don’t let some kind of mum guilt take over every interaction; you don’t need to be having deep and meaningfuls all the time; he knows you love him.