AIBU to worry my son is too young to marry?

It maybe slightly youngish especially for those who prioritise career ladder than personal life but it seems like your DS is well settled in his profession and wants to commit to a woman he has loved for 10 years. I see no problem.

Do you want him to wait till 30, party hard and have multiple break ups and relationships?

I was joking about the golf. Everything else was spot on.

I have been with my dh since 18. Now in our 40s. We had 2 kids by the time we were 24. So I dont think its to young. They both sound sensible. I would trust that they know what's best for themselves. You cant know if it would work out better if they married in 5 years or 10 .
All you can do is support him in his choices.

Why? He found someone he loves and has spent 9 years with her. What should he be waiting for?

I am afraid op is going to be one interfering mother/ mother in iaw.

I find it an incredibly young age to marry (especially nowadays) but it seems to be fairly common around me.

I’d also be stressed about it if it were DD but ultimately they’re adults with jobs, they’ll be fine.

yeah people change so much in their 20s, some grow up some don’t! I don’t know anyone in my friendship group who is still with the same partner from their late teens/early 20s.

but I agree there’s not much OP can do about it.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brain_matures_at_25_myth

Brains change throughout our lives they are finding that now at every greater ages last study was talking about 30 + and pg women what ever age they are menas brian is re-orgainised massively.

Op DS will be 25 at proposed time of marriage and research into marriage age shows a sharp decline in divorce risk as people move past age 20 into their mid-twenties. Delaying marriage from age 20 to 25 cuts the statistical risk of divorce. Data analyses such as studies from demographic researchers often point to the late twenties roughly 28 + as carrying some of the lowest baseline risks for first-time marriages and they are not that far off that.

I think if you say anything - well I suspect it won't go down well and may be remembered for years. I get the concern as it seems young compared to peers but he has a job and is better off than most - so what does waiting get them. Do they want to see the world ? If they do marriage likely won't stop that and if they're not bothered or proitising other things - well they are adults and can do that.

Marriage doesn’t mean they can’t swing, have threesomes, do lines and get wasted. They also now have more money for all those things plus the security of not being homeless and reassurance of always having the other one around on a quiet Sunday afternoon.
In fact, sounds less dull than not being married.

yeah it’s difficult to think of your hard earned money given to your son being split with an ex wife. I do understand the feelings of OP but there’s not much she can do really is there? Without causing hurt and ill feeling.

To go and travel and enjoy life and find out who he is

If she has, I’m almost impressed with her! 😁

Then as a mum shes done all she can do, and its down to her son to make his own choices

When he gets to 35 and realises on the life hes missed out on, he will have been told.

You've given him the money. Whoever he marries will be entitled to at least 50%, probably more should they divorce with children.

It's possibly better that he marries someone he knows well rather than someone he's dated for 12 months

Nowadays 24 is young to get married.

Maybe they want children?

This information would make me more concerned still. Without a probation year she is not a fully qualified teacher, only provisionally registered, which impacts her earning potential. Were they discussing marriage before he was given this money?

They have been together for 10 years!
And been to university and so on in that time.

It may all end in flames, but that can happen at any age.
How long do they need to be together before you think it'll be ok?

That’s interesting, didn’t realise it was as low as that for under 25s.

I agree @Eralione that 23 is too young to get married, and most people in real life will agree too... But on Mumsnet, many people will disagree, and regale you with tales of how they and their parents and siblings and cousins etc etc, ALL got married between 18 and 24. If you had said you want him to get married (at 23,) the general consensus would be 'don't be silly OP, he's too young! '😆

I wouldn't take too many of the posts seriously, or the poll result. Many of the posters saying 23 is fine to get married, will say 33 is too young to have a baby, and that you have LOADS of time left yet, and everyone they know didn't have their first til they were 41!

That someone has decided young marriage is the way to go for a mortgage free life where they no longer need a proper career? 🤔

If he insists on a pre-nup, she shouldn’t marry him. He shouldn’t marry her if he decides he wants one. Don’t go into a marriage planning the split up