AIBU to worry my son is too young to marry?

Are you saying she should get nothing if they divorce? What if they have children, would you deem it acceptable to leave the mother of your grandchildren penniless? What a charmer you must be!!

I think you’re being ridiculous - of course 24 isn’t too young to get married! My husband and most of our friends were married at a younger age than that, and with one exception, are still married, had good careers, travelled widely, and bought their own properties. I wasn’t quite 18 when I met my husband, and we moved in together three months later - it woukd have been much sooner but many landlords were reluctant to rent to unmarried couples. I was 20 when we got married and my husband was 23 - most of our friends were already married by then.

My eldest was 23 in July. Been with his girlfriend since he was 13. She is a nursery nurse and he is a carpenter. He told us today he is planning on asking her to marry him on NYE. I am absolutely made up for him. She is a lovely girl, her family are wonderful and I'm so sorry happy for him.

I'm going to be honest OP and say that I hope my dc wait longer than 24 before settling down, but on the whole the long relationship history is an encouraging thing.

At the other end of the spectrum I have had numerous friends who waited then ended up grabbing rather indiscriminately from dating apps etc because their biological clock was ticking, and not all those marriages have ended well. So waiting doesn't always guarantee a better relationship fit.

Well quite. This is my worry.

I understand your apprehension OP. By today's, standards that is quite young to marry but obviously up to them.

From experience the house is another matter though. 11 years ago my older DD, now 34 also bought a house outright with money gifted by her GPs, which is in her sole name. 4 years ago she got married to her boyfriend of 7 years. This year they split up after truly atrocious behaviour from the husband. It looks like he could potentially have some claim on her house as she has been told a pre marital asset can become "matrmonialised"if lived in as a marital home. The former son in law's parents are currently trying to dissuade him from making any such claim as they are ashamed of his behaviour and it is likely he wouldn't be awarded anything like half the value even if he did pursue it as he is employed, there are no children and the marriage was relatively short.

None the less my DD is really worried that she might have to sell her house to pay him off at what is already a very distressing time for her.

Never tell me that this site supports women....

As a sceptic of course she will want to marry at this age. You gave them a house! It secures her position financially nd 50% of a house will set her up for life. If marriage works, brilliant, if not she will be independent financially.

My DS (now almost 30) got married at 23. It’s a really good marriage and better than many I’ve seen where they waited until they were older. Our DIL is like another daughter to us.

We’ve helped them financially along the way from time to time but it doesn’t cross my mind that DIL is getting the benefit of what we give to DS because I see them as a unit and we dearly love them both. I think I’d try to
look at the inheritance money as his to
enjoy with the person he loves. She clearly
makes him very happy and they’ve been together a long time so there’s no particular reason to think they will split up. Whoever your son ended up marrying (assuming you don’t want him to remain unmarried forever to protect the money!) would have a share in that money, so isn’t it better it’s someone you are very fond of who your son loves?

To young lol. My brother's were all married by this age and me and my sisters all got married at 18 and every single one still married 10+ yrs later with kids etc

24 isn’t that young to get married. Your son sounds lovely he wants to marry his childhood sweetheart. Life is too short to wait around. He wants to marry the woman he loves. You don’t mention anything positive about him having the means to buy his own home. That in itself is a big accomplishment for young adults these days.

He has the means to buy a house because his parents have given him the money to do so. Great position for him to be in but not really an 'accomplishment'.

This is so naive
What if they divorce in three years without having had kids?
Should she still get half the house?
In my world, no
But a lot of people here seem to think she absolutely should
It is bizarre

She wouldn't get half in that instance. Likely something if she's contributed to the running of a house, but not much if it is not a long marriage and there aren't any kids.
BUT. If there were to be a divorce after many years of marriage and kids that she has borne and brought up. As well as taking a financial hit to do so, then it's 50/50 of all assets in UK law as a starting point. Which is fair.

DOI-been through a divorce after a long marriage with kids. So I know the ins and outs of what would be deemed reasonable by a judge looking at a consent order
I have half of all our shared assets as does my ex H
After a long relationship with kids, this seems perfectly reasonable to me.

We were both 21 when we got married 61 years later still together.

I agree with you OP that it’s very young by today’s standards. I would have the same worries about them not really having had a chance yet to see the world, try new things and do those independently of each other. Especially as they are are each others only significant relationships.
It always surprises me on threads like this that do many say this is perfectly normal, for marriage and to have children too. In my social circle it absolutely would not be. But we are all different.

They have been together nearly ten years, so it is hardly in a hurry and 23 and 24 are perfectly normal ages to marry. They are being sensible, have bought a property and are marrying so that all the legal bits are in place. Be happy. Start helping to plan the wedding.

Also to add that DH and I were 22 when we got married 34 years ago. I had DS when I was 26 and DD when I was 29. We’ve had a brilliant time! We didn’t have heaps of money to start with but we did ok and managed lots of lovely holidays with the kids in tow. When they were teenagers we did some fantastic things together, including a road trip in the USA which I’ll remember forever. DH and I were only in our forties so had lots of energy to do fun stuff. Now that they’ve left home DH and I are having a whale of a time enjoying time together/term time holidays/seeing new places. I actually think it can be a good thing to get married and have your children fairly young for many reasons but one big one is because when they leave home you’re still young enough to make the most of it PLUS you’re far more solvent than if you were doing it in your twenties.

When we had little ones around the place lots of our friends were still free and single but they didn’t have the funds to do all the stuff we’re doing now. Of course there are pros and cons to marrying younger or older but personally I think we’ve had the best of both worlds.

What people mean by seeing the world usually amounts to sleeping around, having multiple relationships that go bad and going on lots of holidays to places where all you do is sunbathe and drink. But these are sensible, moral young people who see that way of life for what it is: selfish and self-destructive. A pity more people don't realise that. They can see the world together, go to interesting places and learn how to be a couple. Much better and much more life-affirming.

Why would you jump to that conclusion?! “Seeing the world” isn’t spending two weeks in Magaluf. It could be teaching English in Japan, travelling through South America, a working holiday on Australia. Or a million other things. And having more than one relationship before you settle down isn’t immoral (and neither is having sex with more than one person), it’s quite normal. Your post is really judgemental.
People change as they grow older. The person I was at 22 was very different to the person I was at 32.

Why would you jump to that conclusion?! “Seeing the world” isn’t spending two weeks in Magaluf. It could be teaching English in Japan, travelling through South America, a working holiday on Australia. Or a million other things.

I never had the money to do those things in my youth. Although it’s a shame I didn’t do all that travel in my 20s like mumsnet advises, instead of getting married, as I would have found that I absolute loathe travelling and should have avoided a job that required it!

Until the mid-life crisis hits and those sensible people start wondering what it would be like to have sex with someone other than the person you've been with since your early teens. That happens a lot...

This. ^

This. ^