AIBU to worry my son is too young to marry?

Met my husband at 13, together since we were 14, split up for a few months at 18. Moved in at 23, married 25 and been married for 12 years.
Definitely didn’t feel too young. I’d been qualified as a nurse since 21 and was in charge of busy medical wards.

You must have known this girl long enough to know if she's nice enough? 24 is fine, would you rather he was shagging around / having lots of short term girlfriends that break his heart / was single and longing for a girlfriend?

I should imagine being able to buy a house mortgage free might have made them realise they could afford kids so why wait? They probably want to get married first.

It's most parents aspiration that their adult child is happy with a long term stable partner, has their own stable home and is making future plans.

You have helped that come about OP. Now leave DS to make his own decisions or you could create a rift.

He could have pissed the money up the wall in a chaotic lifestyle of booze, drugs and girls!

I think it’s impossible to know if someone has the temperament to have a successful marriage at whatever age they tie the knot. I was still going for abusive knobs well into my 30s, on the other hand my sister is married to someone she met in freshers’ week and they’ve been together over 20 years, grown up together, and very happy together. Someone else I know married her childhood sweetheart and after 20 years discovered he’d been seeing someone else for almost as long as he’d been with her.

Do you like the young woman? If so, may as well have her as your DiL as anyone else.

They don't need to wait for years before marry, as you have kindly improved his financial position. They could get a pre nup agreement vif he has the asset in his own name and if he ( rather than you) is worried

. A lawful spouse who isn't on the deeds still gets rights in the matrimonial home if his separate pre marriage inheritance is co mingled in contemplation of the marriage.

Tell him to see a solicitor before he does anything else

You can lead a horse to water but you can not make it drink.

Yes telling him to see a solicitor is good advice. Then he’ll get the whole picture and options as to what he can do. At least he will go into marriage with his eyes open and he can make an informed choice as to how to protect or not protect your, and now his, inheritance.

I was married at 24, im 36 now and we're closer than ever. Best choice i ever made. He's definitely not too young as long as hes certain.

We have a lot more threads from people of average age or above - who either don’t specify their age, or they do but you don’t notice it since it’s just ‘normal’ age.

It’s uncommon for people to get married at 25, so not sure where you’re even seeing all these threads

So in your opinion how old should he be when he gets married?

I think you already know that any asset you gave to him will eventually belong to his family. That means his future wife and future children.

Doesn't it seem to be a bit silly to ring fence part of a house if they're married for the next 20 or 30 years?

Most people want to find a life partner. Some people want to do this after they've dated other people and been on a few holidays with their mates or gone backpacking. Other people aren't interested in these things, and others still want to experience some of these things with their partner.
Your son is old enough to know his mind.

What is the legal position if people divorce in these circumstances? Half half or do the courts take account of what went into the marriage?

It's fine to get married.
I would be expecting him to take financial advise to protect the property.

Ironically it is your actions that have brought about the early settling down, not theirs. Imagine how you would feel if they were renting a little flat in the city, doing their jobs and travelling in their spare time and they announce they are getting married. You would probably feel more at ease. It was your decision about the inheritance which prompted them to settle. That can't be undone so you are going to have to find a way to make peace with it. There are a lot of scenarios that are worse than a son set up with a lovely wife, mortgage free house and good jobs all before the age of 25.

but its a known phenomenon that happy people don't start threads saying "we met at 14, married at 20 and are still together" Its the folk with problems whjo post.

yup, we had our adventures after we married.

It’s reasonably young to marry these days but they have been together happily for a long time and they’re settled together, they’ve a good a chance of making it work as anyone. And honestly, you’ll drive yourself mad if you focus too much on your perceived negatives because there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it other than potentially damaging your relationship with your son and his fiancée.

Even irl though, i just think 24 is far too young.

That's sensible, not horrible. Our DC have trusts. DS married v early at 28. There was a legal agreement.

DD and BF are getting married next year. 29/30. They both have trusts. Legal agreements will be in place.

When I married DH in 1991, I had a house, he didn't have the priverbial pot to pee in. There was a pre-nup.

It happens where there is money.

My DS did too. His wife to be was (and is) his favourite person, so he'd have seen no sense in doing these things with people he didn't like as much as her just for the sake of it.

People mature at different ages and your son seems v mature. I’ve been married 43 years and my husband was 21 when we married, I was 23. Waited a little while for kids. My husband was exceptionally mature at the time and found the behaviour of some of his peers/friends silly. I know it’s different times but people are fundamentally the same underneath, some will be ready to settle down early others not.
I wouldn’t say we have missed out by settling down young, we have travelled, both with and without our kids. Nicely paid off mortgage early and could retire, definitely wouldn’t have been able to do this if we had married a decade later and subsequently had kids later.
My kids married around 30 then waited to try for kids, unfortunately one of them is having to go the IVF route and the number of their friends who are having difficulty conceiving is concerning. Basically the older they are then difficulties can occur. Some friends of my daughter seem to settle down with unsuitable guys cos they feel like they should be getting married/running out of time.
So basically what I’m saying is that they might be the ones who have it right, they have known each other long enough, can have time just to be married without having to rush into kids, they have an inbuilt travel companion and obviously shared values/interests

I think it is too young to marry. They haven’t had enough experience of life or other people and their relationship may be codependent
I would be worried about the inheritance too

The dating pool is a mess for young & older alike with situationships. Casual sex, porn addicts, onlyfans, women wanting men to pay for their entire existence, men being incels etc.

Be happy they're both seemingly normal and want to marry and have a life together.
That's winning!

@Eralione

How old were you when you got married?

Maybe take DS to a solictor and draw up a deed of trust re his initial deposit into the house - so if they divorce he can get back what he put in and her too then the rest split 50/50 or 60/40 or whatever %
Take him to a financial advisor maybe too to get literate with life insurance, pensions, stocks and shares etc.. if he doesn't have a mortgage he needs to be investing heavily into his future pension and making investments in stock market etc
Not just pissing all his money away
They sound financially sensible tho hopefully her parents are good?

@Eralione I’m worried they are just settling so young when they have much of the world to see!

This is so strange. I feel very sorry for your son if this is what you think.

Getting married young doesn’t stop you from travelling and seeing the world.

He’s a teacher, and had a long term partner. It sounds like he is setting himself up for a great successful life.

Take the stick out of your arse and be proud of the amazing man you have raised! He’s an adult now. He can make his own choices.