To still be hurt and angry that I was ‘Wendied’ 15 years ago

I thought that too, and also if she felt her child was being treated differently because they were going to a different secondary school the one they usually go to then.So what by the sound of it, they were in year six, and about to leave.

It's also the consideration that by sending her child to a different secondary school.She perhaps wasn't going to be in a class with any of the mutual friends children either so that must have gone down like a lead balloon.

The fact that she still hung up over this after fifteen years, speaks volumes about her rather than anyone else.

One of the most misogynistic slurs applied to women.

There have been a few 'original Wendies' in various settings, generally used about female bullies of one description or another. They're unrelated. Probably the most relevant precedent is Judy Blume's 'Blubber', a 1974 children's novel concerning an extremely mean girl and the group politics of joining the powerful clique, rebelling and so on.

On Mumsnet it came to specifically mean the woman you introduce to your circle of friends, who then turns your friends against you and sets herself up as main character in the group - who no longer have anything to do with you. You can't even protest, because it's all happened behind your back and you've been painted as a troublemaker. You don't know what you're supposed to have done and nobody will explain.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blubber_(novel)

Never heard of wendied.

I witnessed an attempt of this to my sister. The lovely friends saw through it thankfully. 30 years later they are meeting up regularly with a big party this weekend and in touch all the time no one’s heard from Wendy since 2002 💪

Thank you for the explanation. I can’t believe I’ve never heard of it

Sounds like you were perhaps a little stand-offish?
I’d let sleeping dogs lie. They don’t sound like your sort of people anyway. 🤷‍♀️

This.

You are unreasonable to use the term “Wendied”. Misogynist and ageist in one hit. Why are women doing this to themselves?

Its from a not well known children's book by an American autohort from 1974.

Why the astonishment you haven't heard of it.

There's every chance that at least one of these women will come across your Thread OP. There's a lot of identifying stuff here.

If that isn't a concern, then great - let's see if any of them "woman up" and reach out to you.
,

You sound very unkind

ok but why would you want to be friends with ppl like this? Don't you find them a bit ridiculous? Did you want a caravan?

Well, we could say Brutus instead. But we are not Roman emperors and our backstabbing friends aren't senators.

When my Wendy did this, I had no word for it - I borrowed 'Single White Female' due to the similarities, but she wasn't trying to steal my boyfriend as well as all my female friends so it didn't hit right. I was relieved to find a perfectly appropriate term on here!

Anyway, you'd probably find SWF misogynist and racist? Women can be utter shits, you know.

What a nasty response

Villages can be incredibly toxic for this reason. The dynamics are just so different from big bustling cities where nowadays no one really knows anyone and neighbours don’t even talk. When it’s a small place where people are practically on top of one another and it’s rural so not much to fill your time with in the area, people get so petulant through boredom I think more than anything.

I wouldn’t still be giving this airtime after 15 years though. Guessing your kids aren’t even in school anymore at this stage so surely you’ve more than moved on…

I wouldn’t say I was “astonished”! However, most people on this thread seemed to know what it meant and I was surprised I hadn’t heard the term, that’s all

No it isn't. She has given HERSELF 15 years of stress and misery by dwelling on it. It is self-destructive. You shouldn't allow other people (especially shitty people like them) this power over you. Move on and forget them.

No, I hadn't heard of it either. I had to get the context from the story.

I agree. 15 years is a long time to hold on to this hurt, and it's healthier to move on. You still may have residual annoyance, but "hurt and anger"?

Ugh, the cloying claustrophobia I feel when I hear about these petty type of little village people.

Don't allow them to.bother you further. Don't give them the power. They are nothing! Vent, and then move on as if they don't exist.

It's possible to stay lovely and warm using the flames of burnt bridges, fuck 'em 😁

I agree. I'm also very glad I don't live in a village, but a big city!

But wouldn't you hate still to be in a group where there was pressure to baa like a sheep and spend money on things you didn't want, just to keep up with the Joneses? You need to own tha fact that you chose not to be compliant, chose to stand up for something you thought was important. This ousted you from people who think it's important to do what they are told by their bossiest/wealthiest friends. Just be proud and thankful you are not like this, and find some friends - locally or not - who are likeminded with you.

That is my experience too sorry @pricecap

The only people I ever see adults stepping back from is because individuals or a group find them too much hard work as a person.

I have literally never seen or heard anything else.

After 15 years the others in the group likely don’t even remember you, what happened or why. You need to let it drop.