To still be hurt and angry that I was ‘Wendied’ 15 years ago

Did your husband never ask what was going on? Does he think the school issue caused it?

Why does everyone else here know what “ wendied” is?

To be honest the way you write about the “queen bee” it sounds as though if there hadn’t been the issue with the school you would have found some other issue to gripe about.

I think after 15 years you do need to move on. What’s the saying? A grudge rots the pocket you keep it in, I don’t think you can have many pockets left.

The way you refer to this group is a bit drama/immature tbh. The name-calling, this kind of thing ^ (which is simply ridiculous); people 'dancing to the tune' of 'the main instigator.'

Whatever the issue is, the way you talk about them is a bit distracting.

What a set of witches! So sorry OP

I think the reason the OP can't get over it is because she still sees these people around and they blank her. People who used to be her close friends. And she doesn't know why. It's pretty disturbing really.

No. A lot of people take the path of least resistance. It’s shitty when you’re on the other end, but it’s true.

It's gone past time to let it go, though I can see how living in a small village might rub your nose in it a bit. But 15 years later and you're still very aggrieved - I think you should work on discarding these people from your thoughts.

Oh, I like that saying, never heard that one.

This. I get it from the context, I think, but 'wendied'. Where does it come from?

I am aware of that and it is using a specific female name in a negative way.

15 years. 15 years. 15 bloody years. Who have you affected by holding all this anger and resentment for this long? YOU!!!! Nobody else at all in this silly childish scenario, they probably never give you a second thought. FFS forget the whole stupid episode, it's ridiculous to witter on about it 15 years later!

How kind.

It’s very hurtful. Did DH not ask his best man?

what was the school complaint about?

What?

It’s the other people blanking her in the street that are holding onto it, surely?

I can’t believe anyone would be fine about their close friends blanking them for years especially when they regularly bump into them. And presumably if you live in a village it’s not that easy to avoid them or find another group of friends to replace them.

I agree with those people who think your ex friends who dumped you can’t be real friends if they did this so easily. And they all sound a bit pathetic if they copy each other’s hobbies and all gang up against someone. I’m in a group where two people have fallen out and the rest of us refuse to take sides.

We are definitely seeing only one side of the story here.

It sounds like you had already distanced yourself from them before you were ostracised. And you also continue to sound very judgmental of their characters which you probably transmitted to them whether you meant to or not. It’s still odd that you have been totally blanked by a whole group of people so good you are going to ask. Why doesn’t your husband know if he still chats to some of the men. This doesn’t all quite add up somehow.

What a boring bunch of bastards. I get that they were your friends but they sound like twats and you're better off.

And you are bothered to be out of this group why?

Things like this make me grateful to live in London, and I realise I will leave it in a box.

If I had any kind of fallout with somebody I would never see them again.

What does “Wendied” mean please?

You use words and phrases like 'queen bee', 'so far up her backside she could kiss her teeth'. You kept a distance from the teacher and then made a complaint to the school about the school's treatment of your child. As her child's teacher she is likely to take this rather personally.

If one one of your friendship group made a complaint to your work about something you were directly involved in how would you feel about them?

The nature of your complaint to the school also sounds like classic victim mentality.

Honestly, you sound like a tricky, rather self centered person.

This, unless your complaint centred on their children getting things yours didn’t and you wanted them stopped from doing these things… why would they care you’d complained?
the only thing I can think of is eg.. our village schools allocated secondary has a “rugby school” linked to local rugby club as is next door…. The p7 who attend the rugby club on weekends etc get to attend the summer camp to meet the rugby coaches and future teammates. If your not going to be in the rugby school then you don’t..

It’s very odd that you didn’t ask anyone at the time. Seriously if you’re as close as you say, the normal thing would be to call, text and say hey what’s up,

but you don’t speak of them well. Using childish terms like queen bee etc, and seem focused on money, they fact they have caravans of all things, and make it clear you didn’t wish to interact like they did, ie go on holiday.

you also state yoh made a complaint to the school, but the woman was your child’s teacher, stating that they were being treated differently as going to a different school, who else would be treating your child differently if not their own teacher,

it feels like you resented these new people joining the group, clearly made a signficant complaint that impacted the teacher friend, didn’t speak to her about it. And you’ve not said if your complaint was validated by the school, or if in reality you just jumped at a shadow and possibly did something pointless.

you also tell us the men speak, so you’re the issue, I’m not absolutely sure you were wendied, it feels like you were the problem, resenting these new women, and that would have been recognised by the others, and then topping it off with a complaint that may or may not have been justified in others eyes, you also clearly have issues surrounding their wealth, holiday activities and the way fhey interact. It feels like you were the one who tried to reject them and it was you who got booted due to it.

This is why the idea of moving to a village gives me the shivers!