AIBU to make a roast when my daughter asked me not to?

She is 22. An adult, not a child. Tell her to make her own food!! Both my sons came home to live for a while after uni/travelling. They cooked their own food as they both know I hate cooking.

You do know that freezing food preserves it?

This whole thing is bat shit. Your daughter is an adult. The conversation should have been something like this - “mum, I don’t fancy a roast dinner this week. I’m going to make X instead - would you like me to make that for everyone, or just me if you’re still having a roast?”

I can understand her being annoyed that you said you wouldn’t cook a roast but then did it anyway… except you cooked her an alternative! Did she say why she didn’t want the pasta bake?

I’m also wondering about the chicken/freezer/date thing - did you mean it was in the fridge? If it was, why didn’t you just freeze it then after you agreed to do a different meal? If it was in the freezer, why not just leave it in there til next week?

What's the point in freezing things if you're always going to use it by it's original use by date?

I'm assuming that you know the purpose of freezing foods is to pause the use by date. If stored properly it could last a year or more.

@TURTLE74 Do you understand that once the chicken goes into the freezer, all bets are off regarding use by dates?

You can leave it in there safely for at least 3 months although I’ve definitely got food in mine that’s over a year old.

Do you have any other strange quirks regarding food hygiene?

Why didn’t your daughter want you to cook a roast dinner? Is she worried that you faff about too much in the kitchen rather than spending time with the family? Seems odd that she’s asking you not to cook something specific but isn’t offering to cook an alternative meal instead.

I don't think OP understands the concept of frozen food.

The date doesn't matter on a frozen chicken. Except, potentially, with respect to quality over time

The chicken being in the freezer but needing to be used today makes no sense. Even if the sellby date on the freezer was 31 August 2026, cooking it a few days later would not have killed anyone. Everyone knows sellby dates are a guide, not gospel. Especially when it comes to frozen stuff. It could have been left another few days (in the freezer) I'm sure...

Also, you cooked her a pasta bake, so why was she so 'angry' about the roast?

None of this makes sense to me.

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None of this makes any sense. So your daughter had pasta bake and cottage pie while you all had roast? Or you made her a pasta bake which she didn't eat and had leftovers instead? Either way you are not her personal chef. If she doesn't want what you are cooking she can get herself something else, exactly as she did. However if you actually agreed with her not to do a roast and then went back on your agreement, a brief apology is all that's needed 'oh I have just realised the chicken needs cooking today. I know I said I wouldn't do a roast but I have to use the chicken up. I will do something different next Sunday.'

Is it also the smell that upsets her? If yes, ....

I’m really hoping this is rage bait.

I’m in my thirties and currently back living with my parents with my DC due to personal circumstances. I’m also a vegetarian and my parent is gluten free.

I just appreciate when my mum cooks. She might ask, when doing the shop, for any tea suggestions but I eat what she cooks and she eats what I cook.

Never growing up or now would I ask my mum to make or not make certain meals, or expect a completely different alternative. I certainly wouldn’t sulk over it.

It sounds a bit spoilt and princessy, to be honest.

I voted that you are being unreasonable:

• DD asked you not to do a roast, you said you wouldn't, but you did
• chicken in a freezer doesn't need to be "used up" by the sell by date - that's what the freezer is for
• you could have done something other than a roast with the chicken if you needed to cook it

I feel the food prepared and served is not the main issue here; your daughter asked you not to do something, you said that you wouldn't and then you did. It's a trust issue, not a dinner issue.

I’m kind of with your daughter here. I see sharing food as a social activity, it isn’t just about making sure everyone is fuelled; it’s about sitting down together and enjoying the same experience.

You had said to your daughter on this occasion you would make something for everyone that she could enjoy too, and then you didn’t do that.

I cant believe this lengthy thread on something so trivial! Let this spoilt adult do their own blooming cooking!

Agreed it is ridiculous behaviour. My kids grumble depending on which meal is served, I ignore them and plate up. I decide on the meals and do not make a second dish!

I'm mainly here for the freezer explanation but I also can't understand why a 22 year old can't do their own cooking.

So if you “just” made pasta bake would she not have eaten it?!

Seeing as she then didn’t eat it as she didn’t fancy it.

I couldn’t deal with such a picky eater at 22. She’s acting like a child.

A few days makes no difference to a frozen chicken. But you felt it did, so that's not the point. It sounds as if DD was a bit grumpy and you took offence at that. Perhaps you are getting on each other's nerves a bit?

I don’t get the freezer thing either. You freeze stuff but then still use the original sell by date or what?!

Your DD sounds like a princess. Maybe she should make dinner for everyone?

This is like that posts on insta where people cook but get like piece of obvious plastic into the food from packaging and just mix it in. Or do really stupid thing like pour in half the bottle if salt so they get shittone of "there is plastic in it!" comments for engagement numbers....
And it's not the only thread like this.....

I think next time you introduce her to the bread bin and the cheese and let her get on with it.

Probably a bit late now to start teaching her to be less entitled, but do look forward to the time in that future when she has moved out, has her own home and invites you to a meal she has bought with her own money and cooked………..