AIBU to make a roast when my daughter asked me not to?

My daughter has never had that choice.

you should have all had pasta to keep her company!
@TURTLE74

What am I reading here. Is she alright? You still made a meal for her. Where was she during the prep and cooking of these meal? If she.helped she would have known and could have said I dont fancy pastabake.

She said she didnt want roast.
You made her pasta bake and you made roast for everyone else. Turned out she also didnt want pasta bake..sooooooo you knew that because .... ??

Well if you used the chicken by its use by date what was the point of freezing it ?

No, she's a 22 year old woman. It's just a meal and she got something she liked.
I've no idea what the problem is.

When did you tell her the menu had changed? If I'd had a conversation with whoever was cooking and they'd agreed to make a change for me I'd be disappointed to sit down and find out they'd made the usual meal without telling me.

I have young adult / teenage kids and quite often they ask if we can have something different for a change, if I said yes then realised I needed to use something else up instead then I'd let them know as soon as I realised. I'd offer an alternative or they'd decide to make their own.

I'm also another one confused about the frozen chicken, it lasts for months in the freezer.

I’m genuinely confused by this. You agreed not to do a roast, and then you did it anyway. And somehow the justification is that it was a frozen chicken that could have stayed in the freezer for another week? That makes absolutely no sense to me.

She’s 22, not 2. I genuinely find it bizarre that everyone seems to think that once someone is an adult, their wishes suddenly shouldn’t matter when it comes to something as basic as food. Obviously she doesn’t get to dictate everything the family does, but if she says she doesn’t want something and you’ve agreed not to make it, then why would you turn around and make it anyway?

I’m from an Eastern family, and in my experience we actually take into account what the adults in the family like to eat. My mum always made what I liked. Not because I was “entitled” or because she was somehow obliged to cater to my every demand, but because she was feeding her family and actually cared whether we enjoyed the food.

That’s what I don’t understand about this whole argument. What is the point of cooking for your family if you completely disregard what they like? It’s not some outrageous demand to want your own family to consider your preferences.
If you wanted a roast that badly, you could have simply said, “We’re having roast, so you’ll have to sort yourself out.” At least then she could have made her own choice.

I honestly don’t understand why people are so determined to turn this into a lesson about entitlement when the actual issue is that you said one thing and then did another, despite knowing she didn’t want it.

I mean you can't freeze things absolutely indefinitely, they do degrade. But they're still edible just maybe not up to restaurant standard, nobody is going to die.
But there are so many other issues at play here that this is almost irrelevant.

She sounds like an entitled brat. She's a fully grown adult, and needs to grow up.

Do adult children really dictate what their parents choose to cook, even when getting their own special meal made?

Thank fuck I never had this nonsense in my home!

This made me laugh so much

Why the hell would you not take your own family’s preferences into consideration? That’s genuinely bizarre. Cooking a family meal that you already know they don’t like, just to prove some ridiculous point, is not “teaching them a lesson” — it’s being inconsiderate and wasting everyone’s time. They’re not toddlers who need to be forced to eat something they hate so they can learn some imaginary life lesson.

But I guess in this modern world, sitting down to an actual dinner at a properly set table, having a decent conversation, and making food that everyone can enjoy has somehow been replaced by everyone scrolling on TikTok and the attitude of “why the fuck would I care what you want?” Apparently basic consideration for the people you live with is now too much to ask.

Not for long in OP’s house! It’ll need eating up within two days because of the dates!

Indeed! Once again, I can just imagine my late mum's reaction if I'd tried at any age to dictate what she was cooking for the family.

I was allowed to opt out of parts or even the whole meal once I was a young adult (the notion of offering children something different didn't exist when I was a child) - but if I did opt out of the meal cooked, the onus was on me to make myself something different.

Ha, brilliant 🤣

The OP didnt make the roast for her DD nor insist that she ate it, and she made an alternative dish, how is that not taking her likes/dislikes into consideration?

I thought frozen chickens had to be eaten within 3 months of going in the freezer 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ I’m assuming this is what OP means when she talks about “the date” ??

However, I admit I am very anal when it comes to to meat and use by dates (fresh and frozen guidelines) so I’d be exactly like the OP 🤣🤣

22 years old. I repeat, 22 years old.

Time for a cooking rota.

Research the science behind freezing food 🙄

I thought chicken was one of those things that had to be defrosted before cooking.

I’m wondering what happened to the pasta bake. Is someone going to eat it?

This is such a low stakes thread, but I’m now ridiculously over invested. OP, please come back and explain the lifespan of freezer chicken (and other stories) to us, so that I can live my life.

She’s an adult. She needs to be told, clearly, that she doesn’t get to dictate the menu unless she is buying and preparing the food.

Everyone ate, who flipping cares!

I’m very confused by your comment about the chicken. The whole point of freezing is so it lasts months beyond the use by date. Look up Freezing rules.
Reading between the lines she wanted to have a nice family meal and feel part of it not be sitting there with a different meal.
If you always do a roast then doing something different one week isn’t an unreasonable ask.