AIBU to say 6:30am isn’t the middle of the night?

No, when you have young kids anytime after 6am is morning. Ok it’s not ideal especially for night owls, but it is what it is! I think after your child has been poorly it’s actually not unreasonable for them to want a drink at that time at all. Being kind is not being a martyr, that’s horrible thing for your husband to say. Hope you enjoy your couple of hours off today.

WHAT??? Your asshole of a husband just gets better. You’re expected to pay half the bills on maternity leave? What a rotten man you’ve married.

6.30am definitely isn't middle of the night. We usually get up at 5.45am in the week. We had a lie in here today and woke up at 7.30am. No kids here. Neither of us has ever swore at each other either. Glad you've had a chat with him op.

In my experience the vast majority of parents with young kids know that 6:20 isn't night time. My two are 6 and 10 now. The 6 year old still gets up at 6:30/7 at the weekend. 🙈 I remember when they were toddlers, if we got to 6am we were winning and that goes for lots of parents and family members I know. My 3 year old nephew has been wakening at 5:30 recently (& my sister and partner are wrecked). I am in Northern Ireland though so maybe in different cultures children go to bed later? Here for most young kids it's usually around 7/7:30 but I appreciate that maybe some parents do later bedtime and we aren't all the same.

I'm glad he apologised OP. It does sound like he's getting lots of breaks and you aren't. You've said that that is their usual wake up time so it sounds like he was just being lazy/grumpy. I agree with you that when the kids are small you lie in for an hour or two and then get up and help up. That is what worked for our family and neither of us would have went off for hours to do a hobby when the kids were small. It's only now the kids are bigger and much easier that we get a bit of time to ourselves here and there but we still like to spend time together as a family.

Really? Why. The OPs husband sounds like one for leaving a child thirsty because he's too bloody lazy.

What is it with some people 🙄

No good reason? It's the morning and his turn to get up with the kids and it is the kids usual wake time. It's time to get up but the lazy man wants to ruin everyone else's morning so he can go back to bed. After a hard day of doing his hobbies and going to the pub.

Did you miss the part where poor Mr. Provider is so piss poor at providing for his family that OP had to save up her own wages from ALSO working to continue paying her share of the bills while on maternity leave caring for his kids after carrying and birthing his baby.

Im sure a breastfeeding mother has a couple of bags of expressed in the freezer.

I am appalled that in the same thread we have women saying a sick child who has barely eaten and has woken up at their NORMAL WAKE UP TIME and asked for milk should be told to go back to bed AND someone saying the arsehole gobby manchild should be excused because he MIGHT be coming down with something.

Honestly OP, it makes me really sad to read all this. He’s checked out 1 day a weekend, is mean to your 4 year old at 6.30am, and swears at you. That’s all so horrible. Sending hugs cos it shouldn’t be like that!!!

I couldn’t be with a man who chooses watching sport over family 1 day every weekend. My DP thinks men who do this are childish shirkers.

I see from your replies that your husband has gifted you “a couple of hours” to yourself, after he pranced around all day yesterday! The bar is low.

I had never heard of women saving up to ‘fund’ their maternity leave to relieve the financial pressure on their partner.

What a bizarre idea. Surely you decide as a couple to have a baby with all that entails. Given everything that a woman goes through and the baby being a joint desire it is not unreasonable for the other partner to contribute too!

The only time it is acceptable to ‘save up’ is if the bills can’t be covered by the other partner alone.

You called OP 'unbearable'. You are obviously one of those 'tell it like it is' unpleasant posters who can dish it out but can't take it.

There was nothing in OP's original post that would justify your twatty response. You basically implied that OP was sponging off her poor DH and he should be able to lie in for as long as he wants and should be free to tell OP to fuck off because he is the breadwinner.

As OP is on maternity leave and due to saving up for this is making an equal contribution to their household bills, you were completely and laughably wrong in your haste to give OP a kicking.

If he's getting up with the kids you have to leave him to it, not interfere and tell him what to do. However, he sounds lazy and telling you to fuck off is not ok. You both need marriage guidance otherwise this is a relationship heading for divorce.

I'm pleased it appears resolved (for now anyway), but I'd still want to get to the bottom of why he was sabotaging your turn to have a lie in by trying to get your upset DS back to sleep when it was his normal wake up time. Also making him cry by refusing him milk when he'd been unwell the previous day and trying to force him back to sleep when the baby had woken anyway.

Presumably she needs to feed her baby rather than him being a dick.

Wow.

Tone matters?

Standing around with mates, one of whom tells an unlikely story, ‘fuck off’ in a jokey tone acceptable.

Speaking to your wife about what time your child gets up? No matter what the tone, completely unacceptable.

Nor does the poster sound ‘unbearable.’ You, however, sound like someone who needs to attend a course in appropriate ways to communicate within a relationship.

OMG This is so bad.
No, no, no, no, no.
I have heard this more than once on this site: when on earth did it start to become a thing? Why are young women being conned in this way?

There is absolutely no way that a woman should have to save up to fund her own maternity leave when the father lives with her. The household costs should be covered from a joint account, and while she has no income, the joint account should be fully funded by the father.
Paying "your 50%" of the bills goes out the window when you basically stop your career for six months or a year to birth and care for his baby. Yes it is your baby as well, but he does not get to treat having a child as totally your responsibility, like some expensive hobby that you took up so you have to pay for it.
Look at it this way - if you were not there (imagine you died in childbirth or ran off with the milkman!) he would have to pay a full-time nanny for that year and longer. You are saving him money by caring for his child for him.

Joint savings to fund maternity is sensible: a savings fund that you both pay into. Having a baby is a joint enterprise. The woman saving her own earnings to fund "her 50%" while she has no income is just so wrong.

But by 4 they wouldn’t be asking so early anyway

Its not unusual for a poorly child to wake up earlier than normal

Take the whole fucking day.

You had to save up to pay half your bills?! Did he save up too?

The facility is there to use 🤷‍♀️…

I think sometimes we need to remember that things aren’t going to look exactly equal with a 4 month old who’s breastfed, that’s just life.
It doesn’t always mean the other partner is doing something wrong or not being engaged and involved. You need to consider whether he’s not giving you time for a break, or if his breaks will just look different to yours right now.

Was about to write exactly the same. What a selfish arse you're married to.

Maybe I’m the odd one out, but we never speak to each other in this! Ever!! I’d think my husband had lost his mind if he spoke to me like that…standards I suppose 🤷‍♀️

But the 4 year old gets up at 6.30am anyway, and it was his morning to get up with the children, so all this fuss to get himself an extra 10 mins in bed?

In answer to your question, I agree with your husband that most people would still see 6.20 as night time at the weekend. It’s different having to get up to feed a baby, but it’s unreasonable to be expected to get up because a four year old wants milk rather than water.