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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to say 6:30am isn’t the middle of the night?

258 replies

Shezz95 · 30/08/2026 06:52

Little backstory:

We have two children (4 and 4 months), I breastfeed so wake up with the baby but he’s a good sleeper and usually wakes up once around 4/5am. At the weekend my husband and I take turns having a lie in and getting up with the kids - in my eyes a lie in should be an hour ish so that we can still spend time together and do the morning dog walk

Yesterday I woke up at 6 to feed the baby and then went downstairs with them both around 6:20. Baby’s routine is having first nap on the dog walk 2 (ish) hours after waking. Husband is still asleep at 8:20 so I’m trying to get dressed and get kids sorted without waking him, but am also a bit annoyed as he will be out from 10am all day, so kids won’t see him

He wakes up and quickly gets dressed to come on the dog walk and then is out at the football from 10:30 - 3:30, he then gets home and says he’s popping to the pub as it’s his friends dads birthday. He comes back at about 6 and we do bedtime together - not really relevant but just that he’s not seen the kids much today and he usually does either football or cricket one day a weekend so we only have one family day

My 4 year old hasn’t been very well, very lethargic and doesn’t want to eat. This morning he comes in at 6:20 saying he’s thirsty and wants milk. Husband says we don’t get drinks in the middle of the night and that he can only have water. 4YO is crying more and more as he wants milk (probably hungry after not eating much). The baby then wakes up happily babbling.

I say it’s probably best to just wake up now as it’s usual wake up time anyway and he’s poorly etc. husband is trying to get him back to sleep - he’s not going to go as it’s 6:30 and he’s just getting more upset, so I go into the room and husband starts shooing me away and saying I give in to every little whim (I don’t, I’m usually the one disciplining/carrying out consequences). I said I’ll just wake up with them then. He calls me a martyr and starts telling me to fuck off and that I’m being fucking ridiculous etc. I feel like he just doesn’t want to wake up early with them even after hardly seeing them yesterday

AIBU to say 6:30am isn’t the middle of the night and our ill child should be allowed to have a glass of milk!?

OP posts:
Merrymoonage · 30/08/2026 07:23

Shezz95 · 30/08/2026 07:19

I’m not saying that - he can be quite sweary sometimes

I’m just saying that he doesn’t usually completely check out of parenting so wondering what caused this reaction to our son waking up at his normal time but wanting milk

Show quote history

Seems weird to post then surely, he’s usually happy to get up with the kids, do his share, give you your lie in turn and isn’t someone who typically checks out of parenting. And one time he was a bit grumpy in the morning and you’re posting here about that one specific event rather than a pattern?
Maybe he was tired, maybe he is coming down with something? How can anyone know why one day he felt 6:20 was too early to get up?
Have you talked to him?

Bluenotgreen · 30/08/2026 07:23

Of course it isn’t the middle of the night. He doesn’t sound very pleasant.

Gurgletummy · 30/08/2026 07:22

Morethanalover · 30/08/2026 07:18

Oh don't be ridiculous if I were trying to sleep after a hard working week and my dh was absolutely intent on waking me up for no good reason I might tell him to fuck off.

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Aren’t you stuck with a dick if a husband and planning on leaving him @Morethanalover ?

why don’t you focus on that rather than downplaying what to most of us sounds like a pretty nasty man. No partner has ever ever ever told me to fuck off.

and he said this in front of your children @Shezz95 ?

Morethanalover · 30/08/2026 07:22

Alltheusefulitems · 30/08/2026 07:19

I think you've both had a crappy start to the day. Have a cuddle with your husband, hopefully he'll apologise for swearing at you and you can both move on with the day. No need for any drama

Sensible advice. Fair play.

Yapper73 · 30/08/2026 07:22

He’s being a twat OP. As you say your toddler is probably hungry and your other toddler is tired because he had a busy day yesterday. So he’s annoyed he has to get up.

wp65 · 30/08/2026 07:21

Shezz95 · 30/08/2026 07:15

Bit of an antiquated view isn’t it? I’m on maternity leave at the minute and have saved up so that I will continue to pay my half of the bills until I’m back at work early next year?

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What? Why have you had to save up to mitigate the financial hit you’ve taken to have HIS children? Surely, if your money isn’t shared, he covers the shortfall during May leave. I know this isn’t what your thread is about, but this seems nuts.

Gurgletummy · 30/08/2026 07:21

Shezz95 · 30/08/2026 07:19

I’m not saying that - he can be quite sweary sometimes

I’m just saying that he doesn’t usually completely check out of parenting so wondering what caused this reaction to our son waking up at his normal time but wanting milk

Show quote history

Right…. So why don’t you ask him?

Alltheusefulitems · 30/08/2026 07:19

I think you've both had a crappy start to the day. Have a cuddle with your husband, hopefully he'll apologise for swearing at you and you can both move on with the day. No need for any drama

Original poster
Shezz95 · 30/08/2026 07:19

Gurgletummy · 30/08/2026 07:16

So are you now saying that this is exchange is completely out of the blue and your partner telling you to fuck off came as an absolutely surprise to you?

Show quote history

I’m not saying that - he can be quite sweary sometimes

I’m just saying that he doesn’t usually completely check out of parenting so wondering what caused this reaction to our son waking up at his normal time but wanting milk

OP posts:
Morethanalover · 30/08/2026 07:18

LimpingPigeon · 30/08/2026 07:10

Telling you to fuck off means nothing in itself. Tone matters.

Just when I think the bar can't get any lower...

Show quote history

Oh don't be ridiculous if I were trying to sleep after a hard working week and my dh was absolutely intent on waking me up for no good reason I might tell him to fuck off.

PurplebudsWhitebuds · 30/08/2026 07:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

In what way does OP sound unbearable? Please explain.

And in what world is telling your wife to fuck off acceptable behaviour?

StraightTalkingTina · 30/08/2026 07:17

Which day of the week do you do your hobbies OP?

Original poster
Shezz95 · 30/08/2026 07:17

bababamama · 30/08/2026 07:13

Fine to say it’s not time for milk yet to a 4 year old if 6.20 isn’t your normal routine but not any abuse. I would tell mine no at 6.20! But by 4 they wouldn’t be asking so early anyway

To be fair it’s his normal wake up time (anywhere between 6/6:30) - he wouldn’t usually ask for milk and would just want to be up and starting the day - but he was unwell yesterday so think that may be why

OP posts:
Gurgletummy · 30/08/2026 07:16

Shezz95 · 30/08/2026 07:14

He’s usually very hands on - does bed time, will take the kids to the park etc so I can have some time

4YO usually wakes up around 6/6:30 so there was no way he was going to go back to sleep and the baby was awake anyway

i realise the backstory was quite irrelevant really, think I was just annoyed he’d had the whole day to himself yesterday and was still hesitant with waking up with them

So are you now saying that this is exchange is completely out of the blue and your partner telling you to fuck off came as an absolutely surprise to you?

Original poster
Shezz95 · 30/08/2026 07:15

Morethanalover · 30/08/2026 07:12

Earning money so the family can survive.

Show quote history

Bit of an antiquated view isn’t it? I’m on maternity leave at the minute and have saved up so that I will continue to pay my half of the bills until I’m back at work early next year?

OP posts:
Original poster
Shezz95 · 30/08/2026 07:14

He’s usually very hands on - does bed time, will take the kids to the park etc so I can have some time

4YO usually wakes up around 6/6:30 so there was no way he was going to go back to sleep and the baby was awake anyway

i realise the backstory was quite irrelevant really, think I was just annoyed he’d had the whole day to himself yesterday and was still hesitant with waking up with them

OP posts:
bababamama · 30/08/2026 07:13

Fine to say it’s not time for milk yet to a 4 year old if 6.20 isn’t your normal routine but not any abuse. I would tell mine no at 6.20! But by 4 they wouldn’t be asking so early anyway

Morethanalover · 30/08/2026 07:12

Screamingabdabz · 30/08/2026 06:57

What is the point of him?

Earning money so the family can survive.

LimpingPigeon · 30/08/2026 07:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Telling you to fuck off means nothing in itself. Tone matters.

Just when I think the bar can't get any lower...

superchick · 30/08/2026 07:09

I would have just got up with them as well but your DH is allowed to have a different opinion and was trying to get them back to sleep, you probably shouldn't have undermined that. Obviously the way he spoke to you was unacceptable.

SixAndJuliet · 30/08/2026 07:08

6.20 is a totally normal wake up time for a young child and there is nothing wrong with giving a poorly little one some extra tlc. Of course he should have been able to have his milk.

Your husband is selfish and nasty. I bet he wasn’t parent of the year when you only had one child either.

SandwichMakerHater · 30/08/2026 07:08

I just read a comment on another thread about living with a man who treats his family like shit. The poster effectively said imagine if he didn't live with you, how the day would have gone, how it would have been different (harder? Probably not in reality, happier? Definitely)

Is this normal in terms of him leaving stuff to you/talking to you like that?

Morethanalover · 30/08/2026 07:08

This reply has been deleted

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LizandDerekGoals · 30/08/2026 07:05

At the weekend my husband and I take turns having a lie in
Point out to him that as he wouldn't get up with the child, he did not allow you to have your lie in this weekend.

Then think about what he cobtributes to the running of your home and the parenting of your children, without direction and supervision.!

Merrymoonage · 30/08/2026 07:04

I dunno, he shouldn’t have told you to fuck of but it’s sounds like you were trying to undermine him at every turn and take over what he was doing. It’s fine to tell a 4y no milk until usual morning time and only water, I would do the same. My 5Y isn’t allowed up and out of bedroom until 7 and I wouldn’t be getting them milk earlier than that.
I’m not sure how the back story is relevant, yesterday was his day to lie in which is did, and still got ready in time to go on the early dog walk so what’s the issue?
This morning was his turn to deal with them and you kept trying to tell him how to do it.

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