Are you a girls girl? Annoying neighbour isn't

It's an infantalising term. I'm not a "girls girl", I just prefer the company of women.

In my experience most people are lovely.However I have always worked inale dominated spaces so when I swopped to female I was shocked how petty,nasty bitchy gossiping women are.
Also it maybe possible she is neurodivergent.Lots of autistic women find conversation easier with men.Less social cues are rules.
This rings true that you find something off about her.Apparently neurotypical people know something is off they just don't know what.
I avoid girly girls and anyone who gossips.

I’m glad it’s not just me. I’m quite shocked at the cool girl tropes still being trotted out.

Yes I know what you mean OP.

I knew a woman who aligned herself with the men in the community rather than with the women. It’s not that she fancied them at all, she was happily married but it seems that she somehow truly believed they had all the power and were a superior species. We were in the same community and worked quite closely for a time, but ‘friendship’ was a difficult concept for her with us, the women in our group,

She was brought up in a large family and her siblings were mostly boys who grew into tough strong farmer-type, outdoorsy men. Her father was also a strong patriarchal figure. I don’t know if her upbringing formed her opinions on women but by the time I met her, she seemed unable to commit to friendships with her own sex, but made a show of sitting laughing and joking easily with the men in the group.

To me, it was as if, as a developing teenager, one of the lads had said to the group…oh she’s alright, you can trust her, she’s one of the lads and that comment meant the world to her so she thought of herself and wanted to prove and uphold herself as one of the lads ever since.

She reckoned she was bullied by women in her younger career days, before I knew her, but I think it was just that she couldn’t get along with them and used that as an excuse.
She certainly used women volunteers in her later years to get the recognition in her job that she yearned but, although just friendly enough, she never seemed able to be one of that group of women, preferring to match her values to those of the men and consider the men as her allies rather than the women. I think it became a bit of a conflict for her in the end.

I had cause to think about the oddness of it all when we happened to be talking about the funeral of somebody in our community and she told me that she wanted no women at her funeral. She said with a sort of smug, knowing, half smile …’no, only men at my graveside please.’
I still can’t get over that.

I can get on with and chat to anyone. But yes, I’ve known a few woman like that over the years and they’ve always turned out to be trouble! I know exactly what you mean op and I avoid women like that now.

Christ, some of the replies on here 🤦‍♀️ the internalised misogyny is breathtaking isn't it?

Does it really matter what she's like? She's your neighbour, not your best mate or a member of your family. People have different personalities, you're not going to like everyone.

I find that there are rude/unfriendly men and rude/unfriendly women out there in similar proportions of the population, but the rude men just won't bother engaging with me. The rude women tend to engage in a way that you think is friendly at first, but can often take a while to realise that the friendliness is a façade, especially when other women turn up and you're suddenly dropped like a hot potato.

For this reason I tend to find men easier to navigate in new social situations because I find it easier to understand whether they're actually interested in chatting or not, so I tend to feel more relaxed. But I have more female friends because I've found the ones that I click with - most women aren't bitchy or two faced at all!

I have genuinely never thought that women are less interested in politics and current affairs. Some old fashioned English ones were brought up to think it was rude to discuss politics.

What are you talking about? Men are just as judgey.

But presumably you don’t launch into a chat about the NASA space project the first time you meet someone, there is a bit of small talk first and you gradually get to know them.

It doesn’t sound like this woman is bothering with the op at all simply simpering around her DH and not even trying with her.

@Hellohelga @WhatTheHellsGoingOn I get what both of you are saying. I'm not diagnosed autistic but I find that I do have a problem when there are many non verbal cues and people don't say what they mean. Fortunately I have got one female friend who is very natural and forthcoming. Others I do feel men are easier to talk to as in I don't have to think to much about what I say or how I say it whereas with some women I am absolutely drained after having a chat. I don't think other women see me as a threat though because I'm def not flirty and dh is often with me. He on the other hand loves talking to everyone and never feels exhausted afterwards as I do.

I wouldn’t particularly categorise myself, but I always seem to get along with men a bit better. (I wouldn’t avoid or exclude women intentionally though).

I feel you can just have a chat, bit of a laugh and there’s nothing to it - no judgement, no wondering if they don’t like you / are going to bitch about you, no clique-iness that means you’re not really part of the ‘group’. There’s certainly nothing to it, no flirting or intention. I just find there’s less drama / perceive it as easier, it’s just a friendly face to chat to.

I’m not a girls girl, in light social situations I find men much easier to chit chat to and a lot of women standoffish and closed off to anyone who “isn’t like them”. Definitely don’t fancy them, just don’t want to have to try really hard at making a conversation sometimes.

This is subjective. If you’re NT then I expect it’s a lot easier to interact comfortably with other women. Women are more sensitive to other ppl usually and if they encounter someone who is ND, but isn’t obv ND, in my experience, many get uncomfortable bc they are picking up the vibe that something isn’t ‘normal’. It’s the uncanny valley effect I guess. Most men are probably more oblivious to this bc they’re less attuned to interpreting body language etc so they treat the individual no differently.

@Dogwalkinthedark DO they share an interest in something particular that they discuss or is it just general chat? I would find it rude to exclude anyone in a discussion and I never do.

My mother is like that. Lights up around men. Her friend brought it up to her and my mother was all "I can't help it, I don't do that.?

I don't find this at all and find it really easy to find common ground with most women I meet and they tend to be more open too. With some men I find they're really awkward. I (sort of) joke that some long term male friends have no idea what job I do as they never ask any questions.

This is really well put and applies to me. I find talking to women I don’t know (usually) a lot more difficult than talking to men bc I feel from their body language they are judging me more and one wrong word or slight misunderstanding means you’ve ruined any chance for further interaction potential friendship. It’s like walking on eggshells, although I know some very warm women (who work in HR) who make a real effort to put everyone at their ease and it’s really easy and lovely talking to them. Men can be just as judgey and can take things the wrong way, but in my experience in the workplace and on the school run, women in general, who I have encountered seem more sensitive and I sometimes can become a bit robotic or mask as I don’t want to put my foot in it, but this is just my personal experience.

You don’t think ‘girl’s girl’ used to describe a grown woman sounds twee?

Oh wait, your husband's pretending not to notice that she's ignoring you on purpose? That's a bit strange.

Now you'll get the "oh I just don't get along with women, don't know why, they're always so insecure and jealous tho, I am totes a gorgeous human being but men are just soooo muccchhh easier" . Men are easier for these women because they flirt with them, flatter them and praise them. They don't see women as worth flattering or praising and treat women as either non existent or disposable which is why they don't have female friends.

Yep, these sorts do exist. I've known a couple of women like this, they're not worth trying to talk to.

You and your husband can just keep laughing at her, together. She doesn't matter.

I have been around women like this, and and a former friend who essentially approached it like a challenge. It didn't matter if the guy's wife/partner found out. It was the thrill of the chase. She walks away when she's bored, and onto the next one. No guilt or shame.

Maybe you’re boring and your husband isn’t!
I’m allergic to girls girl chat so would probably not engage with you either

I pass two pairs of people when I am out walking. One is two women and the other is two men. In both situations I end up only talking to one of the pair. In the case of the two women one is just quite shy and in the case of the two men I think one just wants to talk to his mate and gets a bit annoyed his friend wants to chat to everyone.

Maybe the fact you dislike her is coming across and so the conversation is gravitating towards the two people who actually want to talk?