Are you a girls girl? Annoying neighbour isn't

Why are you pretending to think that refusing to go along with excluding people on discriminatory grounds is your fault? You obviously don't think the fault lay with you, and have chosen this example because it gives you the opportunity to paint women as racist.
Why did you feel the need to do that in that way? You know there are men who are deeply racist. The men involved in riots and far right activities outnumber women by a significant margin for example.

@ilovesooty Thank you, I actually really appreciate this x

@FirmSnake yes I’ve thought about it from the angle of ‘is it a me-problem’?

It’s not that they’re negative. It’s just that I go in all hopeful and get treated badly or dumped, effectively.

Would you say the same to a person who consistently gets treated badly or dumped by men, is that also a her-problem?

I know in the most recent set of events it was my fault because I refused to go along with excluding people from socialising based on their ethnicity or gender, and was also disturbed by the racist comments made, so may have mentioned this outside the group and it got back to them.

I probably just know how to read men and I don’t particularly know how to read women/ what the exceptions in a female group are, as I often seem to get the wrong end of the stick. And I’m okay living like that and being friends with people who I naturally get on and have a laugh with, not twisting myself in knots. If 70% of them are men, I’m cool with that.

This is sad really. I much prefer women and dont seek out male friends, i do have a couple. Ignore her. Walk a different route if you can.

Exactly this. No idea why people are feeling the need to defend that they like talking to men. This issue is the blatant rudeness to the OP whilst happily chatting to her partner.

What the hell, I don’t gave a single female friend whose conversation turns to knitting. We’re all educated, politically aware adult women. Traditionally male topics? I wonder how often maths and engineering come up in casual conversation with those truly interesting men?

I can’t believe the casual stereotyping of men and women, I have friends who are men and friends who are women, I’m not trying to seduce the men, nor are they interested in me that way, we just get on with each other and yes sometimes I won’t find the wife/girlfriend as easy to talk to but that’s about personality not because she talks about crochet while her husband and I explore the depths of a maths problem.

I’ve certainly known women like that, OP - they behave differently with men - as you say, they ‘light up’. It’s no good ever saying anything to the men, though - they will hardly ever get it - because they don’t see how different they are when it’s all-females. They just think you’re being bitchy or jealous.

Edited because it was too confrontational and not constructive.

People haven't said women have NO interest. They've said men tend to have more.

Men and women really aren't that polarized. But there are average differences between that are significant.

I have a good mix of both male and female friends with whom I have varying degrees of closeness which isn't sex dependant.

My neighbours either side are couples and I get on equally well with the men and women.

I did do professional training with different groups. The only one I found actively unpleasant was an all female group.

I think describing grown women as girls is infantalising.

Yes. It's quite ironic that the people who claim to be so much more comfortable with men seem to have so little experience of them. How can it be possible to have a life surrounded by men and still believe in childish stereotypes like they are ALL so much less complicated! They aren't bitchy or gossipy! They are on my wave length! They talk about interesting things!
Its like they've cobbled together a persona consisting of all the traits they think superior and projected it on to all male people with very limited experience to show them they've crested a myth.
I'm more comfortable with women because my experience has shown me that while there are uncomplicated, non bitchy, interesting men AND women on my wavelength, there's always a possibility with men that there will be a sexual agenda of some sort, or they'll pervieve one, or someone else will. So I have this in mind and stay reserved, which I don't have to think about when it comes to other women.

I'm not really a 'girls.girl'. she can probably pick up from your facial expression when she talks to your DH so you might not seem approachable. I get on better with men, but because of situations it would cause ..like this post and feeling disrespectful to a man's partner, I don't have any male friends. I just find men are generally (not all) more laid back, not deep thinkers and easy going., often more pleasant to be around.

Your neighbour is a flirt, some men love them, most women loathe them. How does her partner respond?

I didn’t see where she blamed other women, she explained how she feels inside and why she has to work extra hard to overcome her fear of rejection from women.

Have you followed the thread? Multiple people.

Who has said that women have no interest in science or politics?

Like the PP, having spent all my working life in a male dominated industry (literally a handful of women among several hundred men), I often find it easier to ‘pass the time’ with small talk with men. I think I often come across as quite reserved with women until I really know them.

You know it’s quite possible to be a woman who supports women whilst at the same time being able up identify a pick me, male validation seeking unpleasant woman.

Some women have a lot of internalised misogyny. Also men will flatter and flirt with pretty much any woman which makes them ‘easier’ I guess.

You should feel sorry for them tbh, because they’re missing out on connections with other women, which I think are deeper and more meaningful than those men make with friends.

And your post was dismissive and unpleasant.

The male-focused women are likely the same group of women who complain that they feel invisible when they get older. The men will lose interest in their flirting and they’ve failed to develop female friendships / feel comfortable around women.

There could be a 100 reasons behind this. Maybe she has just found she gets on better with men than women, maybe she was badly bullied by girls at school and just gave up on female friendships, maybe she is autistic and finds the simpler dynamics of male friendships easier to understand and navigate, maybe she is quite socially anxious and feels less judged talking to men. She may just prefer male company just as you prefer female company.

Most of my friends are women but I’m now in a club where I am the only woman. I’ve been really surprised by how much more relaxed and easy and pressure free I find it. You probably get closer friendships with women, but there’s a lot more unspoken expectation and it’s a lot easier to cause offense.

Whatever it is, I just wouldn’t let it bother me. She is how she is. It doesn’t really affect you.

I dont think its very insightful. It was a longwinded "women are mean and shallow" and that is nonsense.

Bit suspect though when in social groups the woman focusses all her attentions on the men and ignores the women. The overly enthusiastic laughing at everything men say is a big ‘pick me’ red flag

we all know women like this. If you don’t, you are probably that woman

I'm ND and find I don't gel with most people, but that's an ND thing not a.woman thing. I have a collection of random women friends who I get on with... and I suspect many of them.are ND too,.which is why I get on with them 😆

You have no idea whether it is or not, but you've just been really unsupportive of another woman who's revealed her vulnerabilities.