Page 14 | AIBU to think lifestyle expectations and spending habits have risen enormously?

Hiredgun · 2026-08-29T19:16:01+00:00

For context, I’m a late 30s millennial. Grew up in Scotland. Back then, almost nobody had a brand new car. People went abroad once a year if they were lucky. Eating out was very rare, maybe a handfull of times per. Getting a new kitchen was rare as was buying most household items. Kids often got cast off clothes from their siblings. Coffee & wine were basic. Fast forward to today and it’s unbelievable what I see now. Almost everybody drives a brand new car Some of my friends go on multiple holidays per year. One is just back from her 7th trip abroad. People buy properties and spend six figures immediately renovating them. People are very fussy with wine. One of my friends only drinks champagne if doing fizz. Another will only drink certain types of Italian red wine. I have a friend who spent 3K on a coffee machine and he recently asked if the coffee I served him at mine was single source. Another friend wants me to go on a golfing holiday for a stag do abroad. Basic cost is £3K as it involves a private chef on a boat. And cheese…. one of my friends only buys cheese from a deli. It’s beautiful but they’re spending a hundred quid plus a month just on cheese. Some of my friends eat out 2/3 times per week. That was an average in a year for lots of people when I was a kid. AIBU to question this? I know some of it may be debt but perhaps people’s expectations have risen enormously? Anybody else seeing this type of behaviour.

EnglishRose26 · 30/08/2026 11:41

I would say it is a perception thing, but also much more common now than it used to be in the UK.

We went to Italy over the summer and everyone was driving old clapped out cars, on knackered roads, mostly quite scruffy and it was run down even in main tourist places and worse outside. Our standard of living now in the UK IS very high, even if people do nothing but complain about it. Most people have nearly new or new cars. Most people expect to have holidays, eat out and have many luxuries not seen anywhere, not even in many parts of Europe.

Badbadbunny · 30/08/2026 11:44

Monty36 · 30/08/2026 10:05

Not everybody had an endowment mortgage strange though that may seem.
And the interest rates were around 15% at one point. Not 10%.

Show quote history

Not sure your point. People got MIRAS interest relief on the interest paid, whether on repayment or endowment mortgages. And they'd still get circa 30% income tax relief when interest rates were 15% for a very short period too, bringing the real interest rate actually paid down to around 10/11% for that very short period.

SewYellowLikeButter · 30/08/2026 11:44

EnglishRose26 · 30/08/2026 11:41

I would say it is a perception thing, but also much more common now than it used to be in the UK.

We went to Italy over the summer and everyone was driving old clapped out cars, on knackered roads, mostly quite scruffy and it was run down even in main tourist places and worse outside. Our standard of living now in the UK IS very high, even if people do nothing but complain about it. Most people have nearly new or new cars. Most people expect to have holidays, eat out and have many luxuries not seen anywhere, not even in many parts of Europe.

Where do people live where everyone has new cars though? I’m in a wealthy Zone 4 area of London and the majority of car owners have cars 5+ years old. Most of us don’t even have one.

Even my boss - multimillionaire with 16 London properties - drives a clapped out banger because his nice cars kept getting nicked.

Badbadbunny · 30/08/2026 11:50

@EnglishRose26

Most people have nearly new or new cars.

They really don't. The average age of a car on UK roads is roughly 10 years.

It was 7.5 years old a decade ago, so in fact, people are keeping cars longer today than a decade ago.

40% of cars are over 10 years old.

It's all a perception thing, and will depend on area. Those in more prosperous areas are more likely to have a newer car, those in the run down regions are more likely to have older than average cars.

hangerups · 30/08/2026 11:58

I find a car looks pretty new but then the number plate is 6 yrs old.

rathersleepy · 30/08/2026 12:06

The thing we’ve put a stop to recently is takeaways. So overpriced and underwhelming.

thestudio · 30/08/2026 12:10

I feel really sad and angry that babies are being put into long-hours industrial childcare to fund this. Babies need attachment, they need one or two people to be constantly present.

It's not just the increase in property costs, as someone will I'm sure say. Consumer capitalism can't survive unless it continually persuades us that we need more to be having a decent life, and that's exactly what it's done. We're fools for not seeing this.

I don't think you should have babies unless one or both of you can take some time off. Save up. Or live incredibly frugally for a few years. We did this and it was fine.

I understand the argument that women suffer from stepping away from careers - but the problem is men, who should be prepared/enabled to step away to the same degree. That is a problem that can and should be fixed politically and within relationships. We shouldn't make babies pay the price.

thestraycathouse · 30/08/2026 12:17

tommyhoundmum · 30/08/2026 10:54

This is worrying as interest rates are only going one way later this year

Show quote history

I have £12k on a credit card - 3% transfer fee and interest free for 33 months. I have that same £12k sitting in my savings earning me somewhere between 4.5-8% p.a. (I have a mix of accounts).

So just saying debt doesn’t give true picture…..

hangerups · 30/08/2026 12:18

@thestudioI think that very outdated plus young people are choosing to not even have babies.

SlightlyTerrifiedButPolite · 30/08/2026 12:47

InBedBy10 · 29/08/2026 20:26

I blame social media. Everyone thinks they should be living like a Celebrity now.

A friend of mine went on 6 holidays last year. She also admitted, after a few drinks, that shes drowning in debt. O think alot of people are in the same boat. They want the champagne lifestyle on proseco money.

100% agree that this is driving a lot of excessive spending and behaviours. People don’t realise a lot of what is posted is fake or paid for by companies

Original poster

Hiredgun · 30/08/2026 13:09

Pipsquiggle · 30/08/2026 11:01

@Hiredgun
Your DSis buys a new sofa every couple of years!
Is she a spendthrift?

Yes, she would spend every penny if she earned a million quid a year. And yet she’s a part time nurse.

OP posts:

Original poster

Hiredgun · 30/08/2026 13:10

SixtySomething · 30/08/2026 10:34

In the early seventies, for a treat , my mother would make nescafe with warm milk or condensed milk with brown sugar. It tasted delicious!
I'm unsure that your standard Starbucks etcetera is really much better. 🙂

I think 'treat' is the important word here. I'm not sure people really have treats any more, just habits.

Show quote history

That’s awesome.

A treat for me as a kid was a packet of Angel Delight. If it was the toffee one, my day couldn’t get any better.

OP posts:

Original poster

Hiredgun · 30/08/2026 13:15

AnonyMumAuDHD · 30/08/2026 10:21

Sorry for quoting but going through each of the things yo list and none of that is ‘expected of middle class life’.

I am pretty wealthy as are most of our friends, but older than your group with children10 years younger than you: private schools, 4-5 star holidays yes, but none of what. You describe is expected marries to what we and our friends - and therefore their uni/post uni children have experienced.

We have good cars (BMW etc, but rarely are these new, they are usually under 4 years old snd second hand.) and yes, we have two; we have ONE very nice family holiday a year, but DH goes on a boys golf weekend, took the kids skiing for a few years in feb, gather in a UK city to watch cricket once a year - all down on a budget, Air BnB or staying over at friends. We have NEVER eaten out more than once a week, and even when it was once a week it was likely with a kids eat free at pizza express/prezzo, though there was a period when a Friday night takeaway was the norm (but I now resent the £80 cost for a curry that is 60% onion charges £3.50+ for a rice portion etc, so won’t do that any more. £11.50 for a takeaway meal for 2 at M&S, Waitrose or Sainsbury's, etc so two of these leaves £10-15 for a bloody good bottle of wine and will comes in at half the price). We don’t do daily coffees - we spent £400 on a proper coffee machine 3 years ago instead, as did friends, we all visit each other and bring pastries to share. Or we buy the frozen bake at home ones from farm shops for a fraction of the price and sit in our gardens with our dogs having taken our hounds on a group walk (so no taking them to cafes and annoying folks without dogs, either).

Cheese from a deli? At £100 a month? So what? We spend £10 2-3x a month from M&S on their luxury cheese counter (£7.50-11.50 for a selection box), buy sushi at £20 for most weeks - but so what? Your friend could clearly do it more cheaply but who cares if they happen to love eating cheese and biscuits as their main meals of an evening? My kids love a cheese board and cold meats with fresh sourdough and chutneys. The rest of the time the kids are knocking up omelettes, and eating Iceland curries and Chicken tenders made in the air-fryer.

The only people I knew doing the 7 hols a year are either retired or the ones who actually worked for 6m in temp jobs and then travelled for 3-6m (back packing) and then repeated it the next year. No-one I know can afford the time off work for 7 holidays a year. Yes, some of us like city breaks now the kids are older, but these can be done cheaply - many of my friends who are not M/C (painter/decorators, nannies etc) also do the regular city break thing.

None of our generation, thank fuck, were into the ludicrously expensive stag/hens abroad - though I did go to Amsterdam with friends/sisters ahead of my wedding for a girls weekend and ONE night was my ‘hen’. It was the usual annual group holiday in which we took an evening out for the hen/stag. DH went to Barcelona for his. 3star hotels/bnbs. No frills, no spa days and matching outfits, just a small group of 6-8 friends and family having a weekend away.

And my kids have no expectations of anything different. So, I think your friends are not actually representative of most M/c people - or any that I know. They may be single/unencumbered by kids and trying to make the most of the last few years before they settle down to start a family, though even then I’d be surprised as most people will be squirrelling away a chunk fo cash for mortgages/deposits etc.

Edited

Show quote history

Maybe not entirely the same but much of what you describe chimes with my main point.

Most of my friends have kids. In fact one couple have 4 and have just spent a huge sum renovating an old Victorian house.

OP posts:

ExpectMore · 30/08/2026 13:21

Livelovebehappy · 29/08/2026 20:45

Thing is, you even get people on benefits shouting out that having a car, having an annual holiday and two cars is a ‘normal’ expectation. What used to be classed as ‘wants’ and ‘luxuries’ are now classed as ‘necessities’.

This. This gets me. It’s why we’re not balancing the books. We’ve reclassified many luxuries as necessities.

FirmSnake · 30/08/2026 13:22

Hiredgun · 30/08/2026 13:15

Maybe not entirely the same but much of what you describe chimes with my main point.

Most of my friends have kids. In fact one couple have 4 and have just spent a huge sum renovating an old Victorian house.

Show quote history

Good for them. Nobody with 4 kids is taking on a huge renovation project for the sake of it, so it was clearly affordable and necessary.

ViciousCurrentBun · 30/08/2026 13:23

They do save, it’s just the expectation that has changed so much since I was younger. My family was poor, DH family were genuinely wealthy, they had a housekeeper as an indication but they only went overseas once a year.

Jaimelefromage · 30/08/2026 13:35

FirmSnake · 30/08/2026 13:22

Good for them. Nobody with 4 kids is taking on a huge renovation project for the sake of it, so it was clearly affordable and necessary.

Show quote history

Agreed! I have 3 kids and having our kitchen done was as much of a ‘renovation’ as I could cope with!

Goldenbear · 30/08/2026 13:42

EnglishRose26 · 30/08/2026 11:41

I would say it is a perception thing, but also much more common now than it used to be in the UK.

We went to Italy over the summer and everyone was driving old clapped out cars, on knackered roads, mostly quite scruffy and it was run down even in main tourist places and worse outside. Our standard of living now in the UK IS very high, even if people do nothing but complain about it. Most people have nearly new or new cars. Most people expect to have holidays, eat out and have many luxuries not seen anywhere, not even in many parts of Europe.

That's not reflective of what is actually happening though, the middle class is disappearing along with their disposable income. People may have spent their money differently in the past but they were definitely spending it on expensive items. When I met my DH he was only 23 and had just bought an iMac with. A blue transparent back, he also owned an iPod and wee both had expensive mobile phones. He was a postgraduate! We ate out and went out a fair bit to clubs, pubs. Clothes were about the same price if not more. As a teen in the 90s I would definitely go too restaurants with my Parents and they had much bigger home in a nice area of London. Even though DH and I are probably on more as a combined income we cannot do this and we live in a nice area but not in a detached family sized home with a big garden.
Equally, I gave my example of takeaways as not seen as a luxury item where I lived they were more something a bloke would get on his way home from the pub like in Only Fools and Horses. Even as sixth formers we would go to an Asian restaurant that was pretty cheap after we had left the pub on a Friday night!

Goldenbear · 30/08/2026 13:42

EnglishRose26 · 30/08/2026 11:41

I would say it is a perception thing, but also much more common now than it used to be in the UK.

We went to Italy over the summer and everyone was driving old clapped out cars, on knackered roads, mostly quite scruffy and it was run down even in main tourist places and worse outside. Our standard of living now in the UK IS very high, even if people do nothing but complain about it. Most people have nearly new or new cars. Most people expect to have holidays, eat out and have many luxuries not seen anywhere, not even in many parts of Europe.

That's not reflective of what is actually happening though, the middle class is disappearing along with their disposable income. People may have spent their money differently in the past but they were definitely spending it on expensive items. When I met my DH he was only 23 and had just bought an iMac with. A blue transparent back, he also owned an iPod and wee both had expensive mobile phones. He was a postgraduate! We ate out and went out a fair bit to clubs, pubs. Clothes were about the same price if not more. As a teen in the 90s I would definitely go too restaurants with my Parents and they had much bigger home in a nice area of London. Even though DH and I are probably on more as a combined income we cannot do this and we live in a nice area but not in a detached family sized home with a big garden.
Equally, I gave my example of takeaways as not seen as a luxury item where I lived they were more something a bloke would get on his way home from the pub like in Only Fools and Horses. Even as sixth formers we would go to an Asian restaurant that was pretty cheap after we had left the pub on a Friday night!

Catsandcwtches · 30/08/2026 13:50

ViciousCurrentBun · 30/08/2026 13:23

They do save, it’s just the expectation that has changed so much since I was younger. My family was poor, DH family were genuinely wealthy, they had a housekeeper as an indication but they only went overseas once a year.

Having a housekeeper now would be far more of a luxury than going on holiday once a year.

Original poster

Hiredgun · 30/08/2026 13:53

seriouslyruminating · 30/08/2026 09:35

Agreed 💯 percent. When I was a child we went out for dinner maybe at a birthday or special occasion. I'm late 30s as well

Show quote history

It was a huge deal and my parents would dress up and ask us to be on our best behaviour. One bottle of wine was treated like liquid gold.

Even a takeaway was maybe 2-3 times per year and if there were any leftovers it was wrapped up for lunch the next day.

OP posts:

MademoisellePraline · 30/08/2026 13:56

Badbadbunny · 30/08/2026 11:44

Not sure your point. People got MIRAS interest relief on the interest paid, whether on repayment or endowment mortgages. And they'd still get circa 30% income tax relief when interest rates were 15% for a very short period too, bringing the real interest rate actually paid down to around 10/11% for that very short period.

Show quote history

Quite.

But then they can't bang on about how it was definitely so much harder for them. They cherry pick to completely distort the reality.

Oh I paid 15% (but I don't mention that's for two years on my £18k mortgage, whilst earning £7k a year)

However did they manage. Better life choices, obviously...

MademoisellePraline · 30/08/2026 14:02

Hiredgun · 30/08/2026 13:53

It was a huge deal and my parents would dress up and ask us to be on our best behaviour. One bottle of wine was treated like liquid gold.

Even a takeaway was maybe 2-3 times per year and if there were any leftovers it was wrapped up for lunch the next day.

Show quote history

Same. Going out for a meal was something we dressed nicely for. If we were going out for dinner, it was for an occasion not because it was a Friday.

We went out for my birthday a couple of weeks back. Lovely long standing fine French seafood restaurant. £400+ for two including bubbly. Place was packed. On a Wednesday. One other birthday. Average age? 65.

Vulturesoverhead · 30/08/2026 14:07

Jaimelefromage · 30/08/2026 10:56

I have £13k ‘debt’. Interest free finance.

Show quote history

Is that repeatable debt (shopping clothes etc) or one off?

Jaimelefromage · 30/08/2026 14:09

Vulturesoverhead · 30/08/2026 14:07

Is that repeatable debt (shopping clothes etc) or one off?

Show quote history

A kitchen. I have the money in an account earning 5%, while the kitchen is on 0% finance.
My point was just that the stats regarding debt don’t show the full picture. I know a lot of people who use debt strategically while their money is earning interest elsewhere.