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AIBU?

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AIBU to think lifestyle expectations and spending habits have risen enormously?

523 replies

Hiredgun · 29/08/2026 20:16

For context, I’m a late 30s millennial. Grew up in Scotland.

Back then, almost nobody had a brand new car. People went abroad once a year if they were lucky. Eating out was very rare, maybe a handfull of times per. Getting a new kitchen was rare as was buying most household items. Kids often got cast off clothes from their siblings. Coffee & wine were basic.

Fast forward to today and it’s unbelievable what I see now.

Almost everybody drives a brand new car

Some of my friends go on multiple holidays per year. One is just back from her 7th trip abroad.

People buy properties and spend six figures immediately renovating them.

People are very fussy with wine. One of my friends only drinks champagne if doing fizz. Another will only drink certain types of Italian red wine.

I have a friend who spent 3K on a coffee machine and he recently asked if the coffee I served him at mine was single source.

Another friend wants me to go on a golfing holiday for a stag do abroad. Basic cost is £3K as it involves a private chef on a boat.

And cheese…. one of my friends only buys cheese from a deli. It’s beautiful but they’re spending a hundred quid plus a month just on cheese.

Some of my friends eat out 2/3 times per week. That was an average in a year for lots of people when I was a kid.

AIBU to question this? I know some of it may be debt but perhaps people’s expectations have risen enormously? Anybody else seeing this type of behaviour.

OP posts:
Gurgletummy · 30/08/2026 10:41

After rationing ended, the generation that had been adults during rationing thought the next generation were entirely frivolous and reckless

It is an age old thing.

hangerups · 30/08/2026 10:43

@Monty36but why mention only endowment mortgages?! 😆

GrannyTeapot · 30/08/2026 10:49

It’s capitalism.

tommyhoundmum · 30/08/2026 10:54

RosaNovella · 29/08/2026 20:26

Well average household non mortgage debt is 16-18K

This is worrying as interest rates are only going one way later this year

Jaimelefromage · 30/08/2026 10:56

tommyhoundmum · 30/08/2026 10:54

This is worrying as interest rates are only going one way later this year

I have £13k ‘debt’. Interest free finance.

SirenScream · 30/08/2026 10:59

tommyhoundmum · 30/08/2026 10:54

This is worrying as interest rates are only going one way later this year

Too true, but so many people have come to believe that one to two percent is normal or average!

tommyhoundmum · 30/08/2026 10:59

Jaimelefromage · 30/08/2026 10:56

I have £13k ‘debt’. Interest free finance.

I have a 8k mortgage at 2% interest and have always moved debt around to take advantage of interest free card rates.

In the 70's I had a mortgage at 15% interest. It was a struggle.

GarlicAnything · 30/08/2026 11:00

dustabsorber · 29/08/2026 22:45

My Nan, born 1898, used to buy stuff on lay-by. Her generation loathed being in debt. People are no happier nowadays, are they? So many people with mental health problems.

Thanks for this. I don't disagree with the general gist of this thread, but the belief that people weren't living on credit in the good ole days is crazy.

NOTE: I had no intention of writing such a long potted history, but I've done it now so will post! You could just read the next three paragraphs about 'the old days'.

You could retain an item you wanted, as your nan did, by paying in instalments. This secured your cost against inflation and was acceptable to those who were terrified of debt (as more people used to be). We bought Green Shield stamps, which were savings that also got you discounts, and you used to get some free with larger purchases - cashback, basically, but only to be spent at certain retailers.

Everybody rented things like televisions, hi-fi systems, even washing machines and fridges. One step up from renting was hire purchase. There was a deposit and a credit check, plus interest that was rolled up into your monthly payments. Sound familiar? You're all talking as though car leasing's new!

Normal people did not buy new cars outright. You could also buy all your furnishings, carpets and appliances on hire purchase.

I clearly remember the day, in the '80s, when it became cheaper to use a credit card than to save up - inflation was higher than the interest, and returns on savings were derisory. XH and I had good jobs, banks couldn't give us new credit cards with astronomical limits fast enough. At the same time, our mortgage interest was 13.5%. Mrs Thatcher's economic miracle rested on us all borrowing from banks.

Also as part of the 'miracle', millions of council tenants were allowed to buy their homes at bargain basement prices, transferring £billions of public assets to the banks, who now had millions of new customers paying mortgage interest to them.

The average UK house price went up from £20k in 1980 to £56k in 1990. Inflation running high, the Bank of England pushed the base rate to 15%, so some home buyers now faced mortgage interest around 17%. This caused a price drop around 1995 and negative equity (my mortgage fix ran out that year and I had to abandon my flat 😭)

The boom exhaustion led to economic stagnation, Labour won the next election. Come 2010, we were feeling optimistic again about owning more, so George Osborne's 2013 budget depended entirely on high levels of personal debt, hence launching the Help To Buy scheme, equity loans and low deposits. This started a new bubble - which he continued to inflate through his subsequent budgets.

In short, the 1980s moved us from renting and buying stuff on tick to borrowing. It shifted wealth from shared ownership to private, introducing a huge amount of new public borrowing. Instead of rent and hire purchase, we now had mortgages and credit cards.

Renting's now on the increase - private this time, as there is not much publicly-owned housing left. We have car leasing (hire purchase, rebranded), and payment by instalments on credit cards, Klarna, etc. I've noticed you can now rent domestic appliances again in low-income areas. None of this is new, it just looks a bit different.

Some PPs have mentioned the loss of public facilities; this is a massive factor in increased costs - from homes to childcare to leisure. It'll be interesting to see whether (and how) they can be replaced.

Pipsquiggle · 30/08/2026 11:01

@Hiredgun
Your DSis buys a new sofa every couple of years!
Is she a spendthrift?

hangerups · 30/08/2026 11:05

SirenScream · 30/08/2026 10:59

Too true, but so many people have come to believe that one to two percent is normal or average!

I don’t think that is true just that it’s unusual to have the higher house prices of today with climbing rates. I suppose that is why the housing market is struggling, affordability does matter.

Bestfootforward11 · 30/08/2026 11:05

REDB99 · 29/08/2026 20:24

I agree and cannot fathom that people then complain that they can’t afford that they’re ’entitled’ to. I grew up in the 80s, we were not poor but money had to be carefully managed. Overseas holidays were rare, new cars rare (and only ever second hand), eating out was a treat. The expectations people have for what they ‘should’ have is mind boggling. Far too many posts on here about being outraged that some things are unaffordable. It’s a basic reality of life that some things are not affordable to everybody all of the time, no matter how hard you work. The money people spend on things they feel they ‘should’ have is daft.

As a fellow 80s child, completely agree!
And I don’t remember any feelings of a sense of lack. And when we did go out to eat for example, we really appreciated it because it was a treat.

Going off in a tangent but I really do think the immediacy of everything (deliveroo, Amazon, ChatGPT etc) including shiny new things is so damaging. Removing effort so we can have what we want straightaway can only lead to lack of purpose. You get one shiny new thing, you want the next one- it never ends. Constant dopamine hits which then becomes the new feeling of ‘normal’.

hangerups · 30/08/2026 11:07

“The average home in England is now worth less in real terms than it was 20 years ago as inflation and interest rates hammer the property market.
A typical home in England sold for £293,262 in June, a sum that was lower than the average sale price of £296,179 in July 2006 after adjusting for inflation, according to Hamptons”

Wow

Glittertwins · 30/08/2026 11:07

Hiredgun · 30/08/2026 08:53

I’m with you 100%

Same here. We’ve earned fairly well over the years and have often been asked why we didn’t move house to one bigger, why not have “better” and more frequent holidays, eat out more.
We prioritised having money set aside for the DCs for later in life. They certainly have not gone without their luxuries and we do have two premium new cars on the drive but we don’t have a mortgage due to sticking within our means.

AquaLeader · 30/08/2026 11:09

Maybe the area you have been living in Scotland has become more affluent?

Some of your memories don't stack up with the data for the UK as a whole.

For example, the average age of a car on UK roads in the early 1990s was roughly 6.5 years. Now the average age of a car is approximately 10 years.

There were over 2.5 million new cars registered in the UK in 2004. There were fewer than 2 million new cars registered in 2024.

FirmSnake · 30/08/2026 11:20

AquaLeader · 30/08/2026 11:09

Maybe the area you have been living in Scotland has become more affluent?

Some of your memories don't stack up with the data for the UK as a whole.

For example, the average age of a car on UK roads in the early 1990s was roughly 6.5 years. Now the average age of a car is approximately 10 years.

There were over 2.5 million new cars registered in the UK in 2004. There were fewer than 2 million new cars registered in 2024.

That's fascinating. Goes to show perception isn't always reality.

AbacusCat · 30/08/2026 11:26

I'm older than you (Gen X) and when I was a young child we had none of the following

  • Car
  • Freezer
  • Automatic washing machine (we had a twin tub)
  • Tumble dryer
  • Holidays
  • Meals out
  • Takeaways
  • New furniture (all second hand)

On the other hand, my parents owned their detached house on one modest salary - my mum was SAH until my sister and I were both at school. Part of the reason money was tight was that interest rates were insane back in the 1970s.

We gradually acquired the above items as we went through the 1980s, and holidays (UK) started and occasional (birthdays) meals out. Takeaways were never really something we had regularly, though.

Gurgletummy · 30/08/2026 11:29

AbacusCat · 30/08/2026 11:26

I'm older than you (Gen X) and when I was a young child we had none of the following

  • Car
  • Freezer
  • Automatic washing machine (we had a twin tub)
  • Tumble dryer
  • Holidays
  • Meals out
  • Takeaways
  • New furniture (all second hand)

On the other hand, my parents owned their detached house on one modest salary - my mum was SAH until my sister and I were both at school. Part of the reason money was tight was that interest rates were insane back in the 1970s.

We gradually acquired the above items as we went through the 1980s, and holidays (UK) started and occasional (birthdays) meals out. Takeaways were never really something we had regularly, though.

How old are you @AbacusCat ????

Jane143 · 30/08/2026 11:31

I think a huge proportion of the new cars are likely to be on finance

REDB99 · 30/08/2026 11:31

Livelovebehappy · 29/08/2026 20:45

Thing is, you even get people on benefits shouting out that having a car, having an annual holiday and two cars is a ‘normal’ expectation. What used to be classed as ‘wants’ and ‘luxuries’ are now classed as ‘necessities’.

This! What people feel entitled to is unbelievable. If you can’t afford it you can’t afford it but you get people in minimum wage jobs complaining that they can’t have a holiday. I won’t have a holiday next year as my mortgage is up for renewal and I need to plan for the expected rise in this. I don’t feel hard done by, I just accept that it’s something I can’t currently afford.

SewYellowLikeButter · 30/08/2026 11:35

You were just of a lower economic class growing up. I grew up with your description of what now is like. But I myself now don’t even have a car, can’t afford a holiday or coffees out, I don’t drink, my hen do was a night out in Bristol.

You’re comparing your economic situation back then with your friends now. Not everyone’s life then and everyone’s life now.

EnglishRose26 · 30/08/2026 11:39

We have a large array of friends, and they are all as you describe. I think it is a really big issue - people get used to comfort, lots of holidays, the best cars and large houses. Whether they can be sustained is a separate conversation.

RosaNovella · 30/08/2026 11:40

Bestfootforward11 · 30/08/2026 11:05

As a fellow 80s child, completely agree!
And I don’t remember any feelings of a sense of lack. And when we did go out to eat for example, we really appreciated it because it was a treat.

Going off in a tangent but I really do think the immediacy of everything (deliveroo, Amazon, ChatGPT etc) including shiny new things is so damaging. Removing effort so we can have what we want straightaway can only lead to lack of purpose. You get one shiny new thing, you want the next one- it never ends. Constant dopamine hits which then becomes the new feeling of ‘normal’.

This
Sadly the dopamine hit is very short and the hit seeking behaviour continues
Its appalling and exploits vulnerabilities

Several of my colleagues are in real trouble and cant afford their day to day bills

bababamama · 30/08/2026 11:41

Yanbu but your examples are quite extreme. I think even expecting to have a weekly takeaway is extravagant when raising a family, more than 1 holiday a year is privileged, but what gets me most is people thinking buying daily coffee out is normal, it really isn’t.

I can afford things now but only because I’m older with adult kids left home

Whynottryagain · 30/08/2026 11:41

I know people who do a few of those things but very few who do all of them.

I do think expectations have changed, but it's not surprising. People want to do what people around them are doing. If no-one had a TV then people wouldn't feel hard done by if they didn't either etc. I thought it was well established that people are generally happier if they feel equal to those around them? And the amount of stuff people have and do now, on average, is more now than it was then.

I also think debt is more socially acceptable now, so people don't try to avoid it as much. I can also understand this to an extent - if you've got £40k of uni debt, what's another £2k?