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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or are candid photos just fucking brutal once you’re middle aged

57 replies

candidlyappaulled · 29/08/2026 14:02

AIBU or are candid photos just fucking brutal once you’re middle aged? 😂
DH and I are away abroad and he’s been taking candid photos of me without me realising. I’ve just seen them and honestly, fucking hell. Bent over, double chin, hair scraped back, no make up, covered in sunscreen( my forehead looks like a frying pan) and about 20 massive mosquito bites on my legs. Basically every possible thing you wouldn’t choose for a photo.

DH thinks I’m being ridiculous and says not every photo needs to be posed and he was just capturing the moment.This has infuriated me some what.
So genuinely interested — are other middle aged women perfectly happy being photographed completely candidly from any old angle, or do most of us require at least a fighting chance?!

YABU- get over your mid life look, feel happy to be alive
YANBU- it’s ok to want to look nice when having a photo taken

OP posts:
Witchergeralt · 29/08/2026 15:59

You know what? He doesn't care what you look like, he loves you complete with ... what was it? Mosquito bites, double chin, hair scraped back, etc.
Just embrace the fact that your husband sees more in you than what you look like. ♥️

weebleswobblebuttheydontfallover · 29/08/2026 15:59

Nofeckingway · 29/08/2026 15:58

I hate getting my picture taken posed or otherwise . I have not mastered the art of posing to my so called best side . And when I smile I think my eyes look smaller . Don't even start on lying down on sun beds or windswept hair .

I have really deep-set eyes so when I smile they are invisible 🤣

Nofeckingway · 29/08/2026 15:58

I hate getting my picture taken posed or otherwise . I have not mastered the art of posing to my so called best side . And when I smile I think my eyes look smaller . Don't even start on lying down on sun beds or windswept hair .

weebleswobblebuttheydontfallover · 29/08/2026 15:57

I agree too.

However, I do tell myself (and it’s largely true I believe) that we judge ourselves much more harshly in photos that we would judge other people. I think it’s just that somewhere deep down I believed I’d look 18 (or 35, or 12) forever and now I barely recognise myself

DoubleBoubles · 29/08/2026 15:55

I 100% agree
I’m not photogenic at all so it is an ordeal getting a nice photo even when I’m trying to get a nice photo
My partner and kids love taking candid shots, there’s never been a nice 1 of me

Original poster
candidlyappaulled · 29/08/2026 14:46

Thank you!!

I am tempted to do the same candid shots back, has anyone tried that method?

OP posts:
EvelynBeatrice · 29/08/2026 14:19

I feel your pain!

Yes. My husband is unable to take a take a photo of me that doesn’t give me fat arms, a double chin , etc etc.

However I’m slightly torn because it’s so often the case that there are no photos at all of mum - just the rest of the family.