Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour all of a sudden wants to be friends after years of coldness

33 replies

autumnnlies · 29/08/2026 12:19

At first my neighbour appeared to be quite nice to me, sent me Xmas cards, said hello all the time and I would take her parcels in etc.

But she got funny when her son began kicking footballs over the fence and at times I wouldn't open the door as I would be busy with with my baby etc. Some days I did take days to throw it back as I simply forgot.

She and 2/3 other mum on the block formed a clique and I was very much excluded from.
I would often hear them slagging of other neighbours in the street etc.

I kept my distance and started ignoring her and then back.

From what I understand (it's been all over what's app group) she over heard her so called friends slagging her of the other day and made her cry.

Her son came round the other day with some rock he had got of holiday.

This came out of nowhere as before this he would just blank me when we said hello ( he is about 7).

The police have also been involved in another issue with her and another neighbour when it got physical and she was assaulted.

DH and another neighbour think she is trying to be friendly but I'm not interested due to how she has treated me for no reason.

AIBU to just continue ignoring her?

OP posts:
NCForOneNightOnly · 29/08/2026 13:12

She may be looking for allies if other people have turned on her. I’d be very wary.

Augustus40 · 29/08/2026 12:44

I have learned to just be civil with immediate neighbours and not get too chummy. If there is ever a problem you are stuck with the awkwardness then. So I maintain a sense of distance.

Motnight · 29/08/2026 12:41

Whatever her reason, surely she's the type of person who you want to stay as far away as possible from, Op? Stay polite but distant.

BillieWiper · 29/08/2026 12:38

I don't see what difference it makes whether you live in a council home or not? But either way just be polite but not actively trying to cultivate a friendship.

It all sounds so dramatic with cliques and the police and all sorts. Like a school yard.

Adults should just get on with their neighbours from a respectful distance. You'd help each other in an emergency but otherwise just be polite but private.

autumnnlies · 29/08/2026 12:25

We both live in council homes so she probably just wants someone in her corner.

I would walk past and they would stop talking, I would open my window and it would turn to whispers, it's made me feel awful.

She would ignore me and never say hello back so I just matched her energy.

OP posts:
SunnyRedSnail · 29/08/2026 12:22

I would be cordial rather than ignoring her.

Ignoring people is rude.

But I wouldn't be looking to strike up a friendship.

She no doubt wants something but as a human being, if she has been a victim of violence then I'd probably just keep an ear open for any issues.

mindutopia · 29/08/2026 12:22

Bet she needs someone to back her up after the other police incident or she is putting in a planning application for something (my money is on the former).

InOverMyHead84 · 29/08/2026 12:20

Yeah. What do they want? I wouldn't trust them.

Swipe left for the next trending thread