Neighbour all of a sudden wants to be friends after years of coldness

I'd image she ended up in the clique and now they've turned on her she's realized what horrible people they are and how she moulded herself to be one of them. Maybe she's wanting to repent in some way for how horrible she's been but just suddenly starting to chat doesn't make the past disappear. Smile, nod and give a couple of niceties and keep on walking.

Good grief! Threats and assaults? I think I'd be keeping myself to myself around all of these people. Some of them sound rough. I wouldn't be actively rude, but I wouldn't encourage interactions with any of them. Neutrality and 'grey rocking' all 'round.

Sounds like you are living your life just how you want it, and that is working for you. Don't feel compelled to change it. Who knows, things change, you may meet this neighbour in another setting such as a club as your children get older and a friendship may develop naturally, but you are under no obligation to be anything but polite to her atm.
Hope the horrible violent neighbour moves away soon.

I will defo steer clear and just maintain it how it is now as I don't want to be getting dragged into dramas

Good decision. It would not be wise to rekindle the friendship at all. Her enemies will probably assume you’re on her side if they see you hanging out with her again. If you were genuinely friends - fine, but it’s not worth inheriting someone else’s drama when they don’t like or value you and aren’t a real friend.

She’s clearly just looking for allies, since the ones she really wanted to be friends with have turned on her. If she makes up with them she’ll drop you again.

I have one neighbour I consider to be a friend. And friendly with her husband through her. But they’re people I genuinely enjoy spending time with and trust to the extent they even have my spare key. I wouldn’t just be friends with a neighbour for the sake of it.

Had a neighbour who called my partner the word you never say to a person of color.. ended quite heated.. she spent 6 years scowling, gossiping generally being a bitch.. last year a switch was flicked and she thought she could be friendly, I kept my distance as I knew what she's like but my partner was more forgiving.. fast forward to now it's all gone to shit again.. over a football (her kid)! And this is why I say stay away, don't get roped in to the fake niceties. If she didn't like you last week she doesn't suddenly like you this week.

If it was just that they'd suddenly become friendly after not being so for a while, I might think it was based on things going on in their lives. But they seem to be into primary school playground drama with their neighbours in general. If they're going around slagging off other neighbours, they're probably doing it to you too; and in any case, that's not the sort of atmosphere you need around you. I'd avoid them as much as possible.

Well it’s not very often I get a comment like that 🤣.

Thank you ❤️.

Not to be patronising, but can I just say how nice you were in how you explained this

Ah ok, I get it now! Sorry. It took a while but I got there in the end! 🤣

Because someone suggested a planning issue. OP is saying no, there aren’t any planning issues and never will be any planning issues because we both live in council houses. She could also have said no, because we live in rented houses.

Ignore her. She’s trouble

Ok but I still don't understand what difference it makes whether she lives in a council house or not. That's what I was asking OP.

They both live in council houses, there are never going to be any planning applications.

Mindutopia said ”Bet she needs someone to back her up after the other police incident or she is putting in a planning application for something (my money is on the former).” And OP replied ”We both live in council homes so she probably just wants someone in her corner.” ‘In her corner’ = neighbours pals have started being rude so now neighbour is looking for some other mug (OP) to be friendly with.

But why would she need someone on her side for a planning application if she lived in a council house? The OP said that she maybe wanted someone on her side I think?

Nope. It all came back to her now and she’s crying. Let her cry alone.
she sounds like a nightmare. Childish, involved with the police, a big gossip- why on earth would you feel sorry for her.

@BillieWiper I don't see what difference it makes whether you live in a council home or not?

OP said that because someone said the neighbour might be being nice as she’s maybe putting in a planning application.

Don't change anything she is not your friend. Never was and never will be. Definitely up to something fishy

Other than her child bringing rock around, I can't see that the woman has made an effort to be friendlier to you? Do you have kids and the rock was for them?

I'd remain polite, 'good morning/hello' etc but wouldn't be suddenly chummy.

I agree with PPs who’ve said be civil but not friendly.

She’s completely unreliable. You don’t have to be a doormat who’s picked up and dropped by other people at will. You’re also allowed to choose who you associate with.

Civil is the way to go, but not friendly.

You know she bitched about you, you know she bitched about others. You know she's only being friendly because it suits her. She was extremely rude before with the window-slamming etc.

Just keep it civil, say hello, show some interest in the rock on the doorstep but don't invite the kid in - it'll be harder to draw lines if you do, and you will need to draw lines because she sounds a real drama merchant.

She now needs an ally. Unless you are utterly desperate for a friend it’s Such a shame she’s not going to get one.

Sp your neighbourhood WhatsApp is gossiping about how one neighbour has fallen out with her former friends? And two neighbours got into a physical altercation that involved the police? And the main activity when she was friends with her previous posse was slagging off everyone else? Where do you live that any of this is normal?