AIBU to think people are less sociable and friendly nowadays?

society functions much better as a whole where people exchange small and meaningless acts of politeness and social exchange.

Holding a door open and saying Thank you in return. Letting someone go before you in a shop. Exchanging a pleasantry about the weather, or the length of the queue. Smiling at someone or saying good morning.

in none of the OP’s examples was she asking anyone to divulge their medical history or discuss Plato. Just a simple social interaction.

so no I don’t think your entitlement to your right to be unsociable trumps the perfectly normal interactions that used to make the world a much more pleasant place to live.

When I was a teenager my mom told me to always be polite and chatty with older people as I might be the only person they chat to today. That could be true of anyone, not just older people.

society functions much better as a whole where people exchange small and meaningless acts of politeness and social exchange.

Holding a door open and saying Thank you in return. Letting someone go before you in a shop. Exchanging a pleasantry about the weather, or the length of the queue. Smiling at someone or saying good morning.

in none of the OP’s examples was she asking anyone to divulge their medical history or discuss Plato. Just a simple social interaction.

so no I don’t think your entitlement to your right to be unsociable trumps the perfectly normal interactions that used to make the world a much more pleasant place to live.

When I was a teenager my mom told me to always be polite and chatty with older people as I might be the only person they chat to today. That could be true of anyone, not just older people.

I am beginning to understand why these situations arise as people don’t understand nuance - they go straight from others not wanting to chat to the whole of society ignoring each other.

Nobody is suggesting we all go through life ignoring others.

A brief interaction in passing is fine, we all have to do it. It’s a natural thing and it’s how society works. It can be pleasant.

But approaching strangers to have a chat to them at the gym or on the bus is not the same thing. Okay to introduce yourself to a colleague, not okay to continue when they have been polite but indicated they no longer want to carry on.

It shows a lack of interest and understanding in the other person ironically - qualities guaranteed to actively put people off you,

society functions much better as a whole where people exchange small and meaningless acts of politeness and social exchange.

Holding a door open and saying Thank you in return. Letting someone go before you in a shop. Exchanging a pleasantry about the weather, or the length of the queue. Smiling at someone or saying good morning.

in none of the OP’s examples was she asking anyone to divulge their medical history or discuss Plato. Just a simple social interaction.

so no I don’t think your entitlement to your right to be unsociable trumps the perfectly normal interactions that used to make the world a much more pleasant place to live.

When I was a teenager my mom told me to always be polite and chatty with older people as I might be the only person they chat to today. That could be true of anyone, not just older people.

OP's examples go way beyond "meaningless acts of politeness and social exchange", though.

The people she was trying to interact with made it perfectly clear they weren't interested and yet she barrelled on anyway. That's rude, not normal.

In what world is introducing yourself to a colleague rude or barrelling in?

I expect the woman who was so rude to her in the staff room wonders why nobody helps or includes her. She was rude. And unkind.

I don’t think OP was expecting a “review”, it was a basic attempt to make conversation?

She wasn’t expecting the woman to become her BFF, just wanted two minutes of chat. The woman could have replied in a sentence with a brief description and a smile and she would have been done.

When did that become “intrusive”? It’s part of the basis building blocks of bonding with others.

When I was young this was seen as absolutely necessary and normal, not something to be shunned. Why have we come to see normal human interaction as something malignant and rude?

@Thepeopleversusworkbut lots of people aren’t interested in random social contact - it might make your day nicer or more pleasant but it’s not true for everyone.

One person’s need to chat and make small talk is not more important than another’s’ desire to just be left alone.

OP has shown with her example that she’s not great at reading the room - she’s also started a thread to moan about people’s lack of friendliness and has then proceeded to fuck off and ignore all the answers! Not exactly polite or supportive of social contact…

but she wouldn't have 'been done' because even WITH her being "rude" and shutting the OP down by saying 'it's a fitness class' and looking annoyed OP STILL carried on asking her questions until she had to completely blank her to make it clear she didn't want to talk. So it's easy to see why she felt that if she'd given OP the slightest bit of encouragement she wouldn't have been able to get rid of her.

Which all goes back to what the majority of people have been telling OP about reading the room.

Asking someone a basic question or greeting them in a friendly manner is, 99% of the time, completely fine, as is then continuing a conversation if they respond in kind.

But if they indicate, in words, body language, or actions that they are not interested in any further interaction, continuing to pursue one IS intrusive.

Prioritising your own wants, likes and preferences (in this case OP's desire 'to have a conversation' over someone else's (in their case 'to not have one') is the very epitome of rudeness.

I think a lot of this is female empowerment and that is a good thing.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Neither myself nor my DDs owe anything to anyone. We are not there as entertainment.
Our peace is more precious than some randomers need to be engaged with. I find this especially important with how a large proportion of men feel entitled to women’s space.
This is not to be confused with rudeness.
I will help those in need. I’ll say hello to strangers on a walk.
However, I do not want strangers sitting next to me when there are plenty of other spaces.
I also wear big headphones and yes it’s partly to signify that I am not to be disturbed. Yet quite often men, and it is ALWAYS men, will insist on striking up some nonsense conversation with me. Go away random man. Go and approach the tattooed, angry looking male and ask him instead.

Well said. I was sitting on my own, on a rock at the seashore enjoying watching my dog jumping about in the sea, when a middle aged man who I had never met before came up and started telling me his life story. That he felt entitled to do it is beyond me ! (Wasn't even a very interesting life story, I made an excuse and left before the end!)

society functions much better as a whole where people exchange small and meaningless acts of politeness and social exchange.

Holding a door open and saying Thank you in return. Letting someone go before you in a shop. Exchanging a pleasantry about the weather, or the length of the queue. Smiling at someone or saying good morning.

in none of the OP’s examples was she asking anyone to divulge their medical history or discuss Plato. Just a simple social interaction.

so no I don’t think your entitlement to your right to be unsociable trumps the perfectly normal interactions that used to make the world a much more pleasant place to live.

When I was a teenager my mom told me to always be polite and chatty with older people as I might be the only person they chat to today. That could be true of anyone, not just older people.

and it could also be true of anyone that there's a very good reason why they don't fancy a chat on the bus or at fitness class. Maybe they have just lost a family member, maybe it is the only bit of peace they will get all day etc it goes both ways.

and it could also be true of anyone that there's a very good reason why they don't fancy a chat on the bus or at fitness class. Maybe they have just lost a family member, maybe it is the only bit of peace they will get all day etc it goes both ways.

I think these responses kind of prove your point. OP.
We've spend that last 30+ years drumming into children that their feelings, wants and needs override everyone else's and the somewhat predictable result is that people no longer have any remorse about being rude and feel perfectly fine about blanking people because THEY don't want to talk.
I think it's tremendously sad and illustrates a breakdown in society. But you are unlikely to get any sympathy here, where it's all about boundaries and not owing anyone even a smile.

And maybe the person who wants to chat has the same stuff going on and a Simple human interaction is what they need to soothe them? Maybe they are lonely? Depressed? Isolated? Maybe they’ve just lost someone they miss? Maybe it’ll be the only interaction they get all week. But no, the understanding only ever goes one way on mn. The introvert’s right to be left alone absolutely trumps everything, including politeness

And maybe the person who wants to chat has the same stuff going on and a Simple human interaction is what they need to soothe them? Maybe they are lonely? Depressed? Isolated? Maybe they’ve just lost someone they miss? Maybe it’ll be the only interaction they get all week. But no, the understanding only ever goes one way on mn. The introvert’s right to be left alone absolutely trumps everything, including politeness

And maybe the person who wants to chat has the same stuff going on and a Simple human interaction is what they need to soothe them? Maybe they are lonely? Depressed? Isolated? Maybe they’ve just lost someone they miss? Maybe it’ll be the only interaction they get all week. But no, the understanding only ever goes one way on mn. The introvert’s right to be left alone absolutely trumps everything, including politeness

And maybe the person who wants to chat has the same stuff going on and a Simple human interaction is what they need to soothe them? Maybe they are lonely? Depressed? Isolated? Maybe they’ve just lost someone they miss? Maybe it’ll be the only interaction they get all week. But no, the understanding only ever goes one way on mn. The introvert’s right to be left alone absolutely trumps everything, including politeness

But please tell me why one person's need to have peace to themselves is more or less important than someone else's need for conversation?

I was talking to my son in the shop today, and a woman piped up when we said we couldn't find something. I chatted back a little, but she plainly wanted to more chat that I didn't have time for. I closed it down with a friendly comment and a smile.

I'm not sure it's anything to do with being an introvert. Are people not allowed to say "no thank you" if they don't want to do something, in your opinion?

I'm not sure extroverts want to speak to anyone and everyone in every situation either.