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Original poster

AIBU to find my ex cancelling childcare for his wife’s travel strange

263 replies

wontTravelbyherself · 29/08/2026 08:37

I have 2 dc with my ex (8 and 10) he usually has them 3 days a week and every half term, 2 weeks of the summer holidays and we alternate Xmas. Works well.

His wife has recently got a new job and initially it involves a lot of travel apparently. She won’t travel alone.
He has now informed me that there are 3 weekends he can’t do between now and Xmas plus he can’t have the dc during October half term and there are a couple of other days too that he can’t do, no option to move days as he has to work and is self employed so when he’s travelling with her he’s just not working.

AIBU to think this is strange ? Why can’t she travel alone , apparently she doesn’t feel safe and he wants to support her but she isn’t going to any dangerous countries !!!

OP posts:
TheStepboardisfullofbitteroddos · 29/08/2026 08:43

That's a huge % of the time he's supposed to have them! I'd actually work out what it is and point it out to him. How many days is he supposed to have between now and Xmas holidays and how many is he cancelling.

I'd make him find the childcare and then he can decide if he wants to bop about with wife or see his kids.

Most likely she gets decent hotels and they want the free city breaks.

Ilovemyfam · 29/08/2026 08:43

Why has his wife taken a job that prioritizes her not his time with his young children? I feel for them.

I find it strange that someone who doesn’t travel alone takes a job involving travel. It isn’t 1826.

purpleme12 · 29/08/2026 08:42

I think it's very strange yes

If someone can't travel to a job, then they shouldn't have taken that job

Original poster
wontTravelbyherself · 29/08/2026 08:42

There’s no issue with money I’m sure if I asked he would recalculate maintenance and pay more that’s never been a problem it’s just continuity is going to be really messed up . The dc love seeing him and they will be disappointed and upset. It’s hard for childcare but I have time to sort it.
I just feel like dc should come first and I can’t see why she is refusing to
travel alone ?

OP posts:
Justawalk · 29/08/2026 08:41

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TheSmallAssassin · 29/08/2026 08:41

Can you tell him that isn't how it works and it's up to him to sort out who looks, after his children while he can't as you won't be able to.

fuckeditupbadly · 29/08/2026 08:41

Its not strange, its pathetic and crap parenting but ultimately theres not a lot you can do unless he can have them at other times to make up the difference. Its not childcare, its parenting. Its not just about the practicalities of an adult needing to be present but him choosing to prioritise his role as a parent over his role as a husband. And he's not.

Original poster
wontTravelbyherself · 29/08/2026 08:40

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I did ?

OP posts:
Justawalk · 29/08/2026 08:40

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2chocolateoranges · 29/08/2026 08:40

Spunds a bit bizarre that an adult is that insecure they can’t travel for work alone. What job does she do that she travels for work over the weekends?

why doesn’t your ex realise that his children should be his priority and he can’t pick and choose which dates he can and can’t see fhem,

Original poster
wontTravelbyherself · 29/08/2026 08:39

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It’s 3 weekends, a couple of midweek days and the whole of October half term (he was meant to have them for 10 days )

OP posts:
Holdinguphalfthesky · 29/08/2026 08:39

Very odd. Will he pay financially to make up for the extra costs you will incur?

Justawalk · 29/08/2026 08:38

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