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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be annoyed by this or am I being unreasonable?

465 replies

Nmiddleofnowhere · 28/08/2026 18:45

DH has bought something for the house without mentioning it to me and I am honestly a bit annoyed.

It was about £40 so its not like he's gone mad or anything but its something we absolutely did not need and I would have rather the money went towards other things tbh.

I only found out because the parcel turned up and when I asked what it was he said he'd ordered it a couple of days ago. I said I wish he'd mentioned it first and he said why, its hardly a big purchase and he doesn't ask me before buying things for himself.

I do see that point but I don't really think its the same when its something for the house? Especially when we've got other things coming up that we need to pay for.

I am not saying he needs to ask permission every time he spends money btw. If he wants to buy himself something with his own money then obviously thats different. But if its coming out of our joint account for something that is basically unnecessary then surely its reasonable to discuss it first?

He thinks I'm being controlling and making an issue out of nothing.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Potatoespotaarrrrtos · 29/08/2026 12:20

Think @Nmiddleofnowhere has just met their new best friend in @Imdunfer

Wingingit73 · 29/08/2026 12:55

These airers are great. Remember to cover it. Yabu.

Sahara123 · 29/08/2026 13:06

kombuchabucha · 28/08/2026 22:41

Unpopular opinion perhaps but with the context I think he should have spoken to you first! I say this because after our washer/dryer packed up I've been weighing up the options for us: new dryer (we got a second hand washer for free) new washer/dryer, heated drying rack, dehumidifier next to normal drying rack. This is worth a discussion! There's also a running cost associated with the heated dryer and electricity prices are going up again!

From my recent research I believe buying a dehumidifier to put next to your normal drying rack would have been a better purchase - they supposedly dry clothes faster and they take the moisture out of the air to prevent damp problems in the room.

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We have a dehumidifier and it’s actually fantastic! You should see the amount of water it takes out of the air. I shut it in a smallish room overnight and the washing is dry by morning. Brilliant. My daughter had a heated aider and it was useless, only dried the bits of clothing that were in direct contact.

Sahara123 · 29/08/2026 13:10

My husband sheepishly admitted he’d bought a robot lawnmower the other day 😳. I have to admit it’s bloody marvellous!

Imdunfer · 29/08/2026 13:23

Can I suggest all the people mocking my post check their facts?

It's not unusual in tenancy agreements to prohibit the user of radiators and free standing heated rails to dry clothes, because it causes damp and mould in the property.

Disturbia81 · 29/08/2026 13:25

beaglescurleduplikebagels · 28/08/2026 19:01

Do you have nothing more important going on in your life?

Jesus Wept.

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£40 is a lot to be wasted, for most people.

Askandyforcompo · 29/08/2026 13:28

Disturbia81 · 29/08/2026 13:25

£40 is a lot to be wasted, for most people.

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It's not a waste though? It reduces the use of the tumble dryer. She also says they can easily afford it

GoodkneeBadKnee · 29/08/2026 14:52

Disturbia81 · 29/08/2026 13:25

£40 is a lot to be wasted, for most people.

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Some people. Probably not most.

beaglescurleduplikebagels · 29/08/2026 14:54

Disturbia81 · 29/08/2026 13:25

£40 is a lot to be wasted, for most people.

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How is it a waste, exactly?

Bananacrepewithnuts · 29/08/2026 15:27

Have you seen the other thread today where the husband gifted £30k to his parents to buy a new car (didn't even mention it to the wife).

Our OP would have fallen off her chair and fainted!

gamerchick · 29/08/2026 15:30

It's never occurred to me to ask permission to get something for the house. My husband just rolls his eyes at yet another box disguised as furniture. Love a bit of storage me

PrincessHoneysuckle · 29/08/2026 15:32

My dh just eye rolls and let's me crack on.I do the same.

gamerchick · 29/08/2026 15:32

Sahara123 · 29/08/2026 13:10

My husband sheepishly admitted he’d bought a robot lawnmower the other day 😳. I have to admit it’s bloody marvellous!

Ah I would love one of those but the cat does random offerings. Give it time.

Evaka · 29/08/2026 15:35

You can't be serious OP!

mtobrokeme · 29/08/2026 15:37

My husband bought exactly the same thing, without telling me about this time last year. If he had said ‘I’m thinking about buying a heated airer’ I would have probably asked him to stop boring me and told him to buy what he wanted. I really don’t think anything except fridges/washers etc need any discussion.

Disturbia81 · 29/08/2026 16:28

GoodkneeBadKnee · 29/08/2026 14:52

Some people. Probably not most.

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Definitely most, step out of your middle class bubble. Most are struggling.

Kag13 · 29/08/2026 17:45

Nmiddleofnowhere · 28/08/2026 19:59

Its basically a different style, the heated one is more like a tower thing rather than the normal fold out airer.

Tbf I can see why he'd want it because apparently they dry things quicker and use less than the tumble dryer, but I still think we could have discussed it first 😂

I suppose the normal airer could go if we actually use the heated one all the time, which he says we will. I just don't like buying something before deciding what we're doing with the old one.

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I use our heated drysoon from Lakeland every week. Anything that can’t go in the rumble dryer goes on it, and the clothes are iron dry by the next morning. No wet clothes hanging around the utility room for days in the winter. And it folds down to take up a very small space.
But also get the cover, it makes a massive difference. One of the best things I ever bought for the house.

croydon15 · 29/08/2026 17:47

Your DH is absolutely right that will save you money in the winter as you will not need to use your tumble dryer so much, so you are bu.

Ileithyia · 29/08/2026 17:47

Nmiddleofnowhere · 28/08/2026 18:57

It was one of those big heated clothes airers 😅

We already have a normal airer and a tumble dryer so I just don't see why we needed another one tbh. He said it'll save on drying costs and that we'll use it loads over winter but I think he just saw it online and fancied it.

Its not even the thing itself really, its more that he just ordered it without mentioning it.

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In this case, yes, I’d be annoyed. I have one, it’s rubbish, the heated rails mean it dries a thin strip of your clothes but the rest dries at about the same rate as they would on a normal airer. I never use it, I find the tall folding airers are more space efficient and dry more clothes in a comparable amount of time.

AlertPinkHiker · 29/08/2026 17:48

Cmon it was £40 is it really worth making such a fuss??

supersop60 · 29/08/2026 17:49

Nmiddleofnowhere · 28/08/2026 18:57

It was one of those big heated clothes airers 😅

We already have a normal airer and a tumble dryer so I just don't see why we needed another one tbh. He said it'll save on drying costs and that we'll use it loads over winter but I think he just saw it online and fancied it.

Its not even the thing itself really, its more that he just ordered it without mentioning it.

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Aha. Ask him how much it will save on drying costs, and how long it will take to get his £40 back on heating bills.
My DP has the same frame of mind - wants to buy yet another battery for the solar panels at £400 because it will save money in the winter. How many winters do we need to offset that cost?

Stelladid · 29/08/2026 17:51

I think it’s absolutely reasonable for him to have made this decision and bought it in the moment, given that he will use it (whether or not you will). It’s not like he bought a washing machine! You need to chill out a bit IMO.

tommyhoundmum · 29/08/2026 17:54

Nmiddleofnowhere · 28/08/2026 18:57

It was one of those big heated clothes airers 😅

We already have a normal airer and a tumble dryer so I just don't see why we needed another one tbh. He said it'll save on drying costs and that we'll use it loads over winter but I think he just saw it online and fancied it.

Its not even the thing itself really, its more that he just ordered it without mentioning it.

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I didn't know you could get one for £40, mine was over £100 I think.

worldshottestmom · 29/08/2026 17:54

Unless he does it all the time then yes YABU. he bought a clothes airer, so what.

Lilyspickled · 29/08/2026 17:55

Think yourself lucky, I came home from work and found a hideous figured pile 3 piece suite in the front room, in turquoise and grey, complete with fringed cushions, instead of my lovely green one I had just paid o lot of money for it to be recovered. OH’s explanation, oh Fred (or whatever his name was) was selling his electric golf trolley, he threw the suite in as well, he needed the room in his garage. My lovely suite had gone to the neighbours son who had just bought his first house.

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