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AIBU?

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AIBU sleeping arrangement

837 replies

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 10:13

I’m visiting my parents this weekend, as are my 2 sisters (we’re all adults 23,29 and 32). I’m bringing my husband, sisters are going alone. I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant with twins, this is relevant.
all the bedrooms have a single bed in them, prior to pregnancy id just share with my husband and we’d have a bad nights sleep but get over it. Now im pregnant sleeping is a bit more uncomfortable and I need a pillow under my belly etc. so someone has to sleep on the sofa. I can’t make hubby sleep on the sofa because the living room is the walk way through to the kitchen so he’d have no privacy. So the options are for pregnant me or my sisters to go on the sofa. I’ve asked both my sisters if they’d give their bed up for me, they’ve both said no. My one sister even had a tantrum over it and said she just won’t visit if I’m going to take “her” bed (bear in mind she hasn’t lived at my parents house for 7 years).
I’m feeling a little disappointed in my sisters and that they wouldn’t let their pregnant sister have a bed for a weekend. My parents have offered their bed to my husband and I as a result but it doesn’t seem fair as they are both older and need the bed too.
Am I being unreasonable expecting someone to give up a bed for me? I would never ask at any other time in my life, it’s just one weekend during my pregnancy.

OP posts:
AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 01/09/2026 22:21

strawberrylemons · 28/08/2026 11:48

I can absolutely afford to have my children. I’m not completely stupid and reckless, I don’t want to spend money on a hotel when I don’t need to, all my money is going towards my mat leave, so right now I can’t afford it.
I could just not visit my parents of course, but there’s other reasons I’m visiting them, I’m choosing to not share that here.

yes of course this is going to go round, I didn’t expect such a big response to something so minor, people have really got themselves upset about this, I think other people are more upset than I am at this point 😂

I truly think that is because they are so very unhappy in THEIR lives that it becomes their mission to try and make others equally unhappy in theirs.

The nice thing is, when your children are born, your room can be turned into their room with two little cots (hopefully) and you and your DH can then both sleep in the LR. Or, you can just visit at a different time than your sisters. Honestly, they sound as batshite as many of these MNers so none much will be lost.
P.S. If I was your sister, I'd gladly give up my room for you. But then, I am nice, kind and sane. 😎😉😍

Seasidewalker · 01/09/2026 22:35

P.S. If I was your sister, I'd gladly give up my room for you. But then, I am nice, kind and sane. 😎😉😍

Ahh I'm glad you've said that, I'd walk over hot coals for my sister and her children 💕

I think the suggestion that adult children should now control how space is allocated in the parents house once they've moved out is very odd.

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 01/09/2026 22:50

LauderSyme · 28/08/2026 13:09

Why the fuck can't an adult female human without disabilities sleep on a sofa in her own parent's house for one weekend?

Why the fuck are these unknown sisters such precious, fragile flowers that some of you must suggest airbnbs and bunk beds and God knows what, instead of the obvious and simple solution? Unbelievable.

Those same sisters will be screaming a different tune when they need someone to "be kind" to their needs.
As you've said, it's NABFD to sleep on a sofa and let a guest have the bed. Unless the sofa is made of cement block. Then I could see their hissy-fits as being more normal.

I'm just glad that I'm not the only reasonable and kind person (besides @strawberrylemons) on this thread. Thanks!

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 01/09/2026 22:53

Seasidewalker · 01/09/2026 22:35

P.S. If I was your sister, I'd gladly give up my room for you. But then, I am nice, kind and sane. 😎😉😍

Ahh I'm glad you've said that, I'd walk over hot coals for my sister and her children 💕

I think the suggestion that adult children should now control how space is allocated in the parents house once they've moved out is very odd.

I agree. My parents would have said, "This is where you're sleeping". Their house, their rules and when you moved out, it was no longer "your room" and you were not the dictator of sleeping or sitting arrangements when you visited.

How ever did I live through that? 😆😎😉

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 02/09/2026 03:22

Two2TooAlsoToToward · 28/08/2026 13:29

My parents are the same too. Luckily, DM owns the house, so should be a capable woman in delegating where all of her guests sleep, rather than letting her daughters turn it into a bunfight.

I don’t get a choice re: sleeping arrangements chez my parents or DH’s parents—they choose where the guests sleep. Actually…I do get a choice: take it or leave it.

The same here. But to some MN#tters, once you grew up in a home, it is always the "family" home, it is always "your room/bed/duvet" and parents be damned! I have to wonder how much these "children" contribute for upgrades, maintenance and repairs to their "family home"? Actually, I doubt I need to wonder at all.
I wish my parents were still alive for many, many reasons, but right now, just to try the "family home" and "my room/bed" on them. They'd be laughing for a long time with that one. Then I'd get a bill for my share of the new roof. 😉

HiZev · 02/09/2026 10:27

Seasidewalker · 01/09/2026 22:35

P.S. If I was your sister, I'd gladly give up my room for you. But then, I am nice, kind and sane. 😎😉😍

Ahh I'm glad you've said that, I'd walk over hot coals for my sister and her children 💕

I think the suggestion that adult children should now control how space is allocated in the parents house once they've moved out is very odd.

They aren't being asked to give up a room to their pregnant sister - they are being asked to give up a room for her able bodied husband and his two dogs.

nam3c4ang3 · 02/09/2026 12:01

I dont know OP - youve prob made your husband out alot worse than he is.. which was prob not your intention....anyway - you can have the sofa i guess. And for when the twins come - prob a hotel room if thats possible. Good luck with sick relative.

Seasidewalker · 02/09/2026 22:01

HiZev · 02/09/2026 10:27

They aren't being asked to give up a room to their pregnant sister - they are being asked to give up a room for her able bodied husband and his two dogs.

I think we've moved on from that point to what happens going forward.

NotSureICanDoIt · 04/09/2026 15:40

Where did OP sleep??

nomas · 04/09/2026 16:21

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 01/09/2026 22:53

I agree. My parents would have said, "This is where you're sleeping". Their house, their rules and when you moved out, it was no longer "your room" and you were not the dictator of sleeping or sitting arrangements when you visited.

How ever did I live through that? 😆😎😉

The parents have 3 x daughters and 3 x former daughter rooms.

Why would they give one visiting daughter two of those rooms and risk alienating the other daughter/s?

I think the parents are sensible not to get involved in OP's nonsense of treating her husband like a guest. He's part of the family and as he doesn't have a disability, so he needs to make do.

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 05/09/2026 06:47

Seasidewalker · 02/09/2026 22:01

I think we've moved on from that point to what happens going forward.

I wonder if they are home now? Hopefully, they were able to get there early and put up an addition to the "family home". Perhaps an extra two bedrooms and another bathroom? I am pretty sure this was the only suggestion NOT offered to the OP. 😄😉

likeitshard · 05/09/2026 07:31

How was the weekend @strawberrylemons? I’ve read your updates and still feel they would be unreasonable to not give up a bed for you as the pregnant one but your dh should absolutely have slept on the sofa.

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