AIBU sleeping arrangement

as a mum i'd be mortified if my pregnant daughter was wittering on about how her DH is a "guest" in the parental and family home. He isn't, he is part of the family.

The parent's suggestion of OP taking their room and one of them on the sofa is a really good one. And if i was an adult daughter sleeping in my family home that I'd grown up in i would not be at all impressed that any other member of the family wanted me to sleep on the sofa. You can't go to bed until everyone else does, and you are up with the first one. It is utter shit. And having been forced to do it several times, if that is my option, i simply don't go.

He’s a guest, he can’t be expected to take his own dogs out for a morning piss FGS!!

No. I meant about the sisters.

Woah. I hadn't seen there were many more pages when I typed this

Why do you think your husband deserves more privacy than your sisters? Like you said he is a guest but it is their actual family home, and he is your guest not theirs. Why can’t he sleep on the floor in your room? You said you’re annoyed they won’t give up a bed for you, but you have a bed.
I wouldn’t give up my bed for my sisters husband either, i think it’s very weird that you would even ask your sisters to do this nevermind get annoyed about it.

Do any of your sisters have a room big enough for you to put an airbed on the floor for your hubby to sleep on? If so maybe ask them to swap rooms with your for the weekend so nobody has to sleep in the living room

Could you get an inflatable mattress for your husband to sleep in the same room as you?

Your husband needs to sleep on the sofa with boxer shorts on. As a one off what privacy does he need. Everyone will be in bed asleep

After being married that long I'd have hoped to have graduated to 'one of the family' rather than a guest.

If it's good enough for one of the sisters to sleep on the couch (original post says someone will have to), then why isn't it good enough for the DH?

He hasn't been given a voice here.

Cancel the cheque.

Nope, did you read my post

when we went into the room, my sister went straight to the double bed, I suggested that I should share as it’s closer to the loo, I was huge etc but my mum had the tantrum and shared with my sister while I went to the single room

so she was sharing either way.

as I said, this was the tip of a very big iceberg that surfaced when I got pregnant

Why not swap the single bed for a bunk bed? Problem solved!

I really don’t see how you would have more room sharing a double bed vs a single, your argument is illogical. The width per person in a double is considerably smaller than a single bed. If you needed more room than a single bed you would be leaving your sister with around 30cm of bed, the night before her wedding.

I think he’s being a bit precious.

He’ll be asleep. Your mum will walk past him. I recommend PJs for him and a dressing gown for her!

To be fair it’s Op being precious. Poor husband is seemingly unaware there is all this debate about whether he is can safely manage to sleep on a sofa!

But short notice to drive 5 hours, buy bunk beds from somewhere when she doesn’t want to spend money on a hotel, and assemble them in someone else’s house, all before bedtime today, whilst visiting a sick relative and meeting with family

But they’re your dogs, so it should be him that lets them out!?

Yes you’re right, I hadn’t rtft.

She’s being very stubborn and if someone is very ill being pragmatic on this occasion rather than insisting as he’s a guest he gets a bed might be the better course of action.

You in bed, husband on the sofa or on a camp bed next to you. I've got a brilliant comfy camp bed that cost around £80 have a great night's sleep on it. Failing that a hotel or Air BnB for the night

Ok so I've just read that there is no room for an air /camp bed. Surely he can cope with one night on the sofa? If he can't hotel or hire a campervan and he can sleep out in that .

The @strawberrylemons hasn’t responded to the suggestions that neighbours might have a spare bed? Her parents have been living there for decades and the neighbours will have known the daughters since they were teens if not younger. Why is that not an option for one daughter or, if someone has a spare double room nearby, the OP and her DH?

Especially in a case of a family member being very ill, or a death, we’ve done that. (I already mentioned that our family home is just not big enough for the now adult children, partners and GC, not because the house is tiny but just because there are quite a lot of us)

I just can't fathom the idea that a son-in-law is a guest. He's family, surely? Isn't that the point of getting married, to join the family?

I imagine your dh would feel acutely embarrassed having a bed at the expense of his dsil.

He should sleep on the sofa or make do on whatever floor there is in the bedroom, even if there isn't room for an airbed he might be able to fit in on the floor with a sleeping bag.

Ultimately, it is first and foremost the responsibility of your partner to make sacrifices for his pregnant wife, before more distance family members have to. Sleeping of the sofa doesn't seem like a terrible hardship to me. I'd expect a caring partner to be willing to do that.

So if one of the sisters sleeps on the sofa, then either the heavily-pregnant-with-twins OP has to get up early to let her own dogs out, or the sister has to be disturbed by the OP’s husband going through where she’s sleeping to let OP’s dogs out. Doesn’t really seem fair!

The other issue that I haven’t seen mentioned yet is the number of bathrooms.

If there’s only one, and everyone is using it to shower/ bathe/ use the loo, then that’s not ideal for a pregnant woman with urinary urgency. At least in a Travelodge you’d get an en-suite bathroom, and there would be less pressure on the bathroom in the house during the day if everyone could fit showers in first thing.