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Dh says the U.K is f***** and he never wants to go back

1000 replies

Chippednailtoepolish · 26/08/2026 14:55

These were his words this morning.

We live abroad in a place where a lot of people are coming to live, escaping the uk and America.
He says with everything on the news, the way it's going and what the people coming to where we are tell him, that we'd be mad to return.
Is he being realistic? I want to return to be with family desperately and have a strange feeling that I need to do it soon

Would we be mad to return at this time? If yes, then when!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
SixtySomething · 27/08/2026 21:20

Theendoftheroll · 27/08/2026 19:26

Confusing too considering her own family love where they live in England

Yes. Good point. Odd that OP has been led astray in those circumstances. Seems that there is a motive behind this post, to spread social unrest?

Theendoftheroll · 27/08/2026 21:31

SixtySomething · 27/08/2026 21:20

Yes. Good point. Odd that OP has been led astray in those circumstances. Seems that there is a motive behind this post, to spread social unrest?

Who knows. But very odd particularly as the Op would move to where her own family are very happy!

Either way… this DH won’t be changing his mind.

GrannyJegs · 27/08/2026 21:32

Theendoftheroll · 27/08/2026 17:27

Yes that was a truly astonishing post from @GrannyJegs

It's a lovely place to be. I've actually been. Hoping for the long term move.

Dersie · 27/08/2026 21:37

tartyflette · 27/08/2026 15:16

If your car or house is damaged by criminal behaviour you must report it if you want to claim for the damage on your insurance.
If you don’t report it (more fool you) you will not be able to claim recompense.

I think PP was pointing out that the police do nothing about it, in terms of finding and punishing these perpetrators, apart from giving out crime numbers for insurance purposes

Theendoftheroll · 27/08/2026 21:37

GrannyJegs · 27/08/2026 21:32

It's a lovely place to be. I've actually been. Hoping for the long term move.

You have “actually been”? Wow. And you left with the impression that hard work is rewarded

ok

EasternStandard · 27/08/2026 21:46

SixtySomething · 27/08/2026 21:20

Yes. Good point. Odd that OP has been led astray in those circumstances. Seems that there is a motive behind this post, to spread social unrest?

Portugal does have lower crime than here, it may be a consideration for the op.

Missohnoyoubetterdont · 27/08/2026 21:53

Clavinova · 27/08/2026 19:58

Nevertheless, the research 'is limited and the available studies are few and now quite old' to quote from your link.

This is only the link that I thought @strawberrybubblegum might have got her information from. I asked her to confirm it. It’s not my source.

Chippednailtoepolish · 27/08/2026 22:34

SixtySomething · 27/08/2026 21:20

Yes. Good point. Odd that OP has been led astray in those circumstances. Seems that there is a motive behind this post, to spread social unrest?

I already stated that they like where they live and hope it stays the same...but they don't think so much ot the U.K. is doing well and wouldn't live anywhere else and wouldn't go back to where we're from. They can't/won't live abroad so have no choice really

OP posts:
Chippednailtoepolish · 27/08/2026 22:36

Theendoftheroll · 27/08/2026 21:31

Who knows. But very odd particularly as the Op would move to where her own family are very happy!

Either way… this DH won’t be changing his mind.

Edited

What is odd?! I don't understand what you're digging for? Yes I would move to my parents as I miss them dearly, this has been established

OP posts:
Chippednailtoepolish · 27/08/2026 22:37

EasternStandard · 27/08/2026 21:46

Portugal does have lower crime than here, it may be a consideration for the op.

It is definitely a consideration

OP posts:
SixtySomething · 28/08/2026 00:51

EasternStandard · 27/08/2026 21:46

Portugal does have lower crime than here, it may be a consideration for the op.

From what I understand, Spain has comparable problems with the UK. There is unemployment. Just recently "Protests over security in Spain’s North African enclave of Ceuta escalated into violent clashes involving Spanish soldiers Thursday, a month after a mass influx of migrants from Morocco."

So, I can't understand what it is about the UK that is frightening OP's husband so much.
Somethiing strange about it,

Theendoftheroll · 28/08/2026 05:55

Chippednailtoepolish · 27/08/2026 22:36

What is odd?! I don't understand what you're digging for? Yes I would move to my parents as I miss them dearly, this has been established

But your DH doesn’t miss them does he?
and he is adamant he is never e re going to return
so if this is something you want to do… you need to start a thread in relationships and maybe legal.

You have established from this thread that a person’s view on their country is based on their experience of that country - hence the many differing responses. Key is…. Where you’d move to, your own family love and enjoy living there.

strawberrybubblegum · 28/08/2026 06:08

Missohnoyoubetterdont · 27/08/2026 18:18

I’d like to see where you got this information from.

There were quite a few articles about it in various papers after a FOI request was made. Here's one.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/gift/d6b14ded201ec8bb

Do you not wonder why the government is fighting so hard to appeal legally against the ICO ruling that they must publish conviction data by nationality?

Doigoforit2 · 28/08/2026 07:24

How long have you been out of the UK @Chippednailtoepolish ?

strawberrybubblegum · 28/08/2026 08:24

Theendoftheroll · 28/08/2026 05:55

But your DH doesn’t miss them does he?
and he is adamant he is never e re going to return
so if this is something you want to do… you need to start a thread in relationships and maybe legal.

You have established from this thread that a person’s view on their country is based on their experience of that country - hence the many differing responses. Key is…. Where you’d move to, your own family love and enjoy living there.

or.... she could do what most people in a strong relationship do when they experience a relationship challenge.

Which is really think about and work through the situation together from all different angles... with respect for the other partner having different wishes and different opinions... but challenging each other and themselves gently to get through to a decision both can live with.

Part of that could quite easily be one partner gathering information on mumsnet!

The strength of a relationship isn't based in never facing challenges: it's about communication, and how you get through challenges (like wanting to live in different countries) together.

Why are you telling her that her relationship has no future, just because they have different opinions on the best place to live? Confused You're either quite sheltered (never having faced choices outside 'what everyone does') or else you're just being mean.

Chippednailtoepolish · 28/08/2026 08:34

strawberrybubblegum · 28/08/2026 08:24

or.... she could do what most people in a strong relationship do when they experience a relationship challenge.

Which is really think about and work through the situation together from all different angles... with respect for the other partner having different wishes and different opinions... but challenging each other and themselves gently to get through to a decision both can live with.

Part of that could quite easily be one partner gathering information on mumsnet!

The strength of a relationship isn't based in never facing challenges: it's about communication, and how you get through challenges (like wanting to live in different countries) together.

Why are you telling her that her relationship has no future, just because they have different opinions on the best place to live? Confused You're either quite sheltered (never having faced choices outside 'what everyone does') or else you're just being mean.

This is how I feel 😩

OP posts:
GrannyJegs · 28/08/2026 09:32

Theendoftheroll · 27/08/2026 21:37

You have “actually been”? Wow. And you left with the impression that hard work is rewarded

ok

Edited

DH works there and goes there often. I loved being there. I felt so happy. We want to move and not pay income tax yes

EasternStandard · 28/08/2026 09:49

Theendoftheroll · 28/08/2026 05:55

But your DH doesn’t miss them does he?
and he is adamant he is never e re going to return
so if this is something you want to do… you need to start a thread in relationships and maybe legal.

You have established from this thread that a person’s view on their country is based on their experience of that country - hence the many differing responses. Key is…. Where you’d move to, your own family love and enjoy living there.

You don’t actually know how steadfast he is. Let the op work it through. There’s plenty of couples where people talk about where to live.

SixtySomething · 28/08/2026 09:50

In July 2026, Police fire rubber bullets at anti-tourism protest in Mallorca, when thousands took to the streets, according to the Times of London.
You can watch it here
https://www.thetimes.com/world/europe/article/spain-protests-palma-mallorca-tourism-jz8tlf2k3
That looks pretty apocalyptic, too!
I've googled it and apparently, Spain is overall a statistically safe country, while England is moderately safe.
On the other hand a 'green' bit of England is going to be miles safer than a socially deprived area of Spain, so I really think OP and her husband can quit worrying!

Verifying Device

https://www.thetimes.com/world/europe/article/spain-protests-palma-mallorca-tourism-jz8tlf2k3

MuchAdoAboutSomething26 · 28/08/2026 10:01

Firetreev · 26/08/2026 15:21

We need to have more positive mindsets. It's not great, but by jove we've won the lottery being born here. Look up life in a country like Haiti, the DRC or Myanmar. We're some of the luckiest people on the planet, but greed and individualism makes us think otherwise. Even people one hundred years ago in Britain would tell us to give our heads a wobble. Hot showers, indoor loos, washing machines, healthy food, free primary and secondary education, foreign holidays, medical advances. I could go on and on. We're some of the luckiest people in the history of the planet. We need to be able to acknowledge that we have enough, most of us have enough! The endless desire for more, more, more and the jealousy and discontent that breeds is a cancer on society. If you have a roof over your head, food on your plate, some free time and hobbies, and friends and family who love you, you're doing well. If you have good health and a bit of spare cash you're doing even better.

Exactly how I feel. And freedoms and rights that are protected by law. Sexuality, religion, gender, disability etc. So many places in the world don’t give women autonomy over their own bodies and for that I feel very fortunate. Anyone who thinks this country is ‘fucked’ should read more.

EasternStandard · 28/08/2026 10:14

SixtySomething · 28/08/2026 00:51

From what I understand, Spain has comparable problems with the UK. There is unemployment. Just recently "Protests over security in Spain’s North African enclave of Ceuta escalated into violent clashes involving Spanish soldiers Thursday, a month after a mass influx of migrants from Morocco."

So, I can't understand what it is about the UK that is frightening OP's husband so much.
Somethiing strange about it,

Yes Spain isn’t as highly rated as Portugal.

Doigoforit2 · 28/08/2026 10:31

EasternStandard · 28/08/2026 09:49

You don’t actually know how steadfast he is. Let the op work it through. There’s plenty of couples where people talk about where to live.

Read the thread title!

Doigoforit2 · 28/08/2026 10:32

how long have you not lived in the Uk for @Chippednailtoepolish ?

StartingToLikeTheTherapistNow · 28/08/2026 10:33

It's tricky. The UK still had plenty to make it a decent place to live. Our weather is not too extreme, we are pretty free, we have lots of things we take for granted. However compared to the UK in say the late nineties up to about 2008 then yes it has declined.

The NHS has definately gone downhill. Trying to get GP appointment bit of a nightmare whereas in nineties you used to get same day appointments with a phone call. So much so I have had to start using a private GP. I avoid hospitals after reading the threads on here especially A&E. I would only go if I had a life threatening heart attack or stroke which I guess is what you are supposed to use them for anyway. The idea of waiting hours in a crowded waiting room fills me with horror. I do feel more anxious at the idea that ambulances don't always come quickly now. I have never dialed 999 before but it was comforting to know the service was there. That said part of the decline is due to people abusing the service and also the fact that the goverment has let so many people into the UK that all services can't cope not just the NHS. I think it still works for some areas but if you are moving back be prepared to pay for some services or do without. Same with dentists. I have a private one now and pay £40 per month for comprehensive covers everything insurance. The NHS needs reform and to be made a co-pay system.

Overpopulation - the country feels too crowded now and I live in Scotland outwith the main cities. For whatever the reason that they have allowed so many people to come to the UK it is now bursting at the seams. Roads are always busy, houses are too close together and thus streets are noiser. Everyone is more impatient and angry like caged rats being squashed further together. Most of us still live in good or decent quality housing but gone are the days of big rooms, big plots, privacy unless you have mega bucks. Services such as health, police have stayed the same whilst the population has grown and so of course these services are now much poorer as they are spread thin.

Crime - it does feel like shoplifting and teenagers in balaclavas on scooters are becoming a real problem. It feels intimidating and the police appear to have no power to do anything anymore. I know we had problems in the seventies/eighties when the police were viewed to have too much power but honestly it has gone too far the other way now. I also had a relationship with a front line officer and the number defending the front line is so small it is terrifying. I live in a relatively safe area so these things do not affect me too much but even so I see the effect. Housebuilders having to mix social housing in with private housing is just pulling down nice areas and in my view is a mistake.

UK finances /politics - yes this area is /has become embarrassing. I think the world is wondering what happened to 'great' Britain and how we fell this far. Without going into the reasons we seem to have short term politicians who won't make hard decisions that are required. Finances are getting worse and worse and spiralling out of control with overspending and overborrowing and rising bond rates etc. People are showing their discontent by voting reform etc and I suppose it will be interesting if not scary to see how it all ends. Working seems to be paid poorly now and claiming benefits seems to be an attractive alternative for too many.

Cost of Living - I think we had it really good for quite a while from the nineties to 2008 and now we are going back to a time more like the seventies with problems. Inflation is not as high just now but with crops failing due to weather, fertilisers shortages due to the Trump's war we are being told to expect a tough winter with shortages and increasing prices. How bad it will get nobody knows really. I still eat well but yes it costs more than it used to. Electricity/gas seems to cost alot more than say 5 years ago. I think perhaps we just didn't appreciate how good we had it before.

Unemployment - from reading the threads it seems this is becoming a problem. Certainly jobs like paper rounds and shop assistants which I had when I was young are things of the past. Thankfully I am retired now but I worry about what will happen to the state pension by the time I am due to collect it in 10 years. Lots of young people out of work and yet there seems to be so many things not getting done. Tradesmen are a nightmare to find so I hope the new govt is about to train up tons of youngsters to be tradesman.

Problems with the rest of the world - world order is definately changing. I see it with China and the US with China becoming more powerful and the US less so. Since the UK has always been tied to the US we are by defination losing our US relationship power too not to mention the fact Trump seems sick of all the support the US gives and is now expecting Europe to do more defence etc. Rightly or wrongly this puts additional strain on UK's finances although it will hopefully provide jobs for youngsters too.

Is the UK 'fucked' - well compared to many parts of the world no. We are still a relatively good place to live. However standards have definately declined in the last 10-20 years, services are not what they were, things are more expensive and people seem more angry and entitled. Make of all that what you will.

Shakeoffyourchains · 28/08/2026 10:36

strawberrybubblegum · 26/08/2026 18:49

The Left are so racist! Do you really think everyone who emigrates to the UK (or to another country, like OP has) is the same? Why do you pretend that you can't tell the difference between them Confused

I hugely appreciate my colleagues, friends and family members who have moved here legally from overseas (from India, Pakistan, China, Hong Hong, Singapore as well as Europe). They are highly-educated, contribute hugely to the UK both economically and culturally and enrich my life.

I'm angry at and about both legal and illegal immigrants who don't integrate in the UK, commit crimes, take far more in social benefits than they will ever pay in tax, and bring over tens of 'relatives' who will do the same.

I'm really angry at the amount of violent and sexual crime committed by men coming from countries with no respect for the law or women. Afghan nationals (like the ones who raped that 14 year old on the train) are convicted of sexual crimes at 20 times the the rate of British men.

Assuming that the OP's husband is in Spain/Portugal legally, is working and contributing, and isn't raping children then it's perfectly reasonable for him to be concerned about UK immigration - it's not 'rich' at all.

Are you so racist that you don't realise that well-integrated UK immigrants are just as concerned about our ridiculous immigration policies as native Brits are?

Edited

I'm really angry at the amount of violent and sexual crime committed by men coming from countries with no respect for the law or women. Afghan nationals (like the ones who raped that 14 year old on the train) are convicted of sexual crimes at 20 times the the rate of British men.

Once again, this is not true. That stat was based of falsified data in a report by a one man band 'think tank'. The source data quite literally had a tab explaining why the data couldn't be used for per capita comparisons, which good old Honest Robert Bates deleted from his report, before changing some numbers too.

If you check the source data and normalise it for sex, age and socio-economic background the conviction rates between British men and immigrant men are not significantly different.

I know you probably don't care and will continue to spread that misinformation regardless.

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