Dh says the U.K is f***** and he never wants to go back

There are countries that enjoy a better quality of life than we do in the UK. Most countries though are seeing comparable socio-economic challenges, in the same way the UK is. Everyone's experience will be different, so you won't get a consensus op. I'm mid 40s, middle of England, relatively comfortable financially and in a place where schools are ok. Yes we've seen our bills rise, but we are cushioned to a large extent and I don't pretend that our experience is typical of everyone's.

I think the 'UK is shit' narrative is pushed by those who seek to pin all our ills on immigration, and aimed at those who have likely suffered the most financially in recent years. There is poverty here and it probably is worse than it's been for some time. But that's not to say it's never been like this before, that it cannot recover, nor that it will never be like this again.

There is still so much that the UK does really, really well in comparison to many other countries. It still feels safe (and is safe) in most places. I don't fear my kids being shot at school. Paid annual leave, parental leave etc is generous. Employment rights are good. Green spaces, free or cheap access to places of interest. The NHS. An education system that, while imperfect, attempts to provide the best opportunities for all. Good food. Kindness in ordinary situations (lots of examples of random acts of kindness you just don't see elsewhere). Childcare support. Knowledge, understanding and adjustments in relation to SEND/ inclusivity (a long way to go still, but ahead of most other countries).

What do you mean, specifically?

I was focusing more on very recent changes I have noticed and feeling hopeful for present and future governments.

I am certainly not standing in defence of what we have had.

Here in NI there were bombs in the streets a few decades ago, over the last weeks both sides of the community have joined together to celebrate the Fleadh and the streets of Belfast were full of community spirit and celebration.

There is darkness but also light. I am feeling hopeful, I think at our core there is a lot of good and I worry that despair leads to people disconnecting from engaging with the issues, rather than exploring what can be done.

If they’d just allow the assisted dying bill through we could sort that.

I think the lack of focus on the smaller things, the things that they no longer care about is what builds the picture of an area and are a gateway to it getting worse.

One example locally are teens in balaclavas on electric vehicles, driving on the pavements, causing problems in the town centres and openly drug dealing in the recreational spaces. Why can’t they sort that out. Why don’t they have the appetite to sort that out? On a boiling hot day, kid in a balaclava, on the pavement, nearly pushing a little girl and her grandfather onto the road, the little girl looked terrified and off they sped. My son was so confused. How is that allowed mummy? The police came to my school and said dirt bikes weren’t allowed on the pavement or on the road without a licence etc etc.’

I read something recently where they (can’t remember the town 🤦🏼‍♀️) are going to trial banning face coverings and I’m all for it. Rip the balaclavas off these little scrotes, put in facial recognition cameras and let’s clean up the streets.

Have you never been inclined to move?

What are your kids schools like?

We tried to move around Covid, I was desperate to get back to a place I absolutely adored but every house was being overbid by a huge margin and we just couldn’t make any headway. We had to accept defeat and then the secondary school admissions started and we’re now here for at least another seven years.

Schooling - not too bad.

But do you do really honestly believe that every other child has syndromes now that need money throwing at it? Why has Spain banned the use of the sunflower lanyards? Why have several large themes banned the lanyards! Because it's a bandwagon that has got out of hand!
I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and all I ever see on forums is "how quickly can I get pip? How much can I get for being diagnosed" it's ridiculous, it's a cash grab that's not sustainable! I aren't slatingbkids so don't tell lies, I'm slating people like you who think we can have half the country sat on bloody benefits I
In the future!
As for wjy wait to go overseas, there's this thing called working for a living and there's no magic finger click to instantly transfer complex fields of work to countries where English isn't the first language! And did you forget about Brexit? We can't just walk into an EU country now and call it home can we!

You don't get anything automatically based on just diagnosis. It is needs based and you need to be able to provide proof of impairment in your daily life. Nobody is fighting authorities every day and sitting on waiting lists for 3 years, then undergoing rigorous assessment just for a diagnosis, then filling in 60-page application forms, for a few hundred quid. Also, PIP isn't an out-of-work benefit.

Having witnessed first hand at a Spanish airport recently how Spanish officials treat families of disabled children, I'd have to question their decision to ban sunflower lanyards. For a start, it doesn't mean they get to jump queues, it alerts others to the fact that they have a hidden disability that may, in certain circumstances, require a little more understanding, patience and help.

We get frequent news stories about disability benefit fraud! It's like anxiety and depression, it's one of those that doctors and assessors can't disprove because there's no test for it.
Many of these kids with ADHD are fit and healthy but they they are being conditioned to think otherwise and work like all the adults that currently work and live normal lives with ND.
People are using lanyards for queue jumping, that's why the theme parks are stopping acknowledging them because the disability lines for rides etc wete getting massive due to tons of families with fit healthy kids joining the queues.

Which countries is the UK behind in GDP per capita:
https://www.theglobaleconomy.com/rankings/gdp_per_capita_ppp/

How long has where you lived been a shit hole? Are you kids happy and thriving?

I do laugh at folk who say this country is fucked, blaming immigration in part, then emigrate off somewhere else! Hope their new country is more welcoming to them

Indeed, the irony is astounding. They want to leave this country to get a better life elsewhere, and that’s apparently fine. But other people wanting to leave their country to get a better life here are wholly responsible for every evil in the world. There’s a cognitive cog that’s not quite slipped into place for the grass is always greener types.

it’s the boiled frog analogy, these things creep up on you and you can’t quite remember when things changed. I do remember going into the town centre and not hearing English being spoken and it was weird and then going to my local Tesco and again I didn’t hear an English voice the whole way round. That was new and that was around the time when we had a huge influx of Eastern Europeans into the country. How long ago was that? Ten years maybe. That’s pretty clear in my head as a turning point but do I really clearly remember what it was like before then, I don’t think I do. I remember the 80s and 90s clearly and it was brilliant, like looking back at a postcard of a bygone era now.

Are my kids happy? Yep. They have their mates and their sports and know no different. Me and my partner do talk about the the time we tried to go back to the place we wanted to live, but that means nothing to them, when you’re kids you aren’t thinking too hard about anything. They are both very academic and hard working and i do suggest they might want to try and find careers that could see them work outside of the UK, so they could decide where they want to put down roots.

I do think the way things are going we just don’t have much pride left as a country. We are too much of a melting pot to have a strong culture which means we’ve just diluted who we are over decades until now we really don’t have a national identity. If the government asked for young men to fight for their country I don’t think many would. Not just because of the obvious reasons but because our kids are now raised as global citizens and nationalism has died outside of the far right. I know that is seen as a good thing and I can understand why people feel that way, but I think as a global citizen my kids could probably go and find a country that might offer them a better quality of life and I hope they go find it.

Again it’s a false equivalence. I haven’t heard one person criticise highly skilled individuals getting a visa and working here. People celebrate that. When people came over from Hong Kong they were genuinely STEM professionals and found work easily and I’m sure have assimilated beautifully. The people criticising immigration are criticising a swatche of unskilled individuals who are coming over undocumented in large numbers.

But then you already know that.

The news about how bad things are is always exaggerated and seen though a lens of people who have already left , and so have skin in the game.
TBH the whole of the Western World is in decline, which will only get worse- The UK is at the cutting edge because we got the industrial revolution first and deindustrialised first. Where the UK has gone the rest of Europe is close on it's heels.
Avoiding decline by moving somewhere else- Dubai or whatever is only a partial fix, these sorts of countries are completely supported by the flow of people into them, which will decline and stop.
Only truly growing economies such as Singapore will avoid the decline- even China which is growing fastest will lose it's markets as Europe and the US have less and less to spend.
Once there are few people with money to spend very little growth will happen anywhere- so moving is at best a temporary fix.

There's two aspects you conflating around immigration.
1/ high numbers brought to the UK without the infrastructure to support (housing, schools, hospitals, doctors etc). This is a political decision by successive government's to mask the numbers coming in. It's not fair to the UK population and certainly not fair to the immigrants. Who get blamed.
2/ There has been little or no selection in who was allowed in. We are told there are doctors and Engineers but we all know that is crap, its largely minimum wage people. Plus some people who have been allowed in, are cultists who support death to non believers, apostates, homosexuals, rape victims etc and who support rape in marriage FGM etc etc, without any challenge. Most importantly people who don't respect western values and want to change the host country.

My DW and i have left the UK.,She was a finance director, I am a masters qualified business leader. We take nearly £8000 month in pension and very much want to integrate into our host country. Slipped cog, I don't think so.

So you’ve become immigrants elsewhere? Righto.

It is a shame that you have been so unhappy with where you live for so long.

I can honestly say that I don’t recognise what you describe where I live. Thriving, fast 40 min train to London, high street busy, lots of green space, great facilities, phenomenal transport links for my two teens. I am not being “insufferabley smug” . I am telling you my experience

Im
telling you now the tears of the U.K. being ‘cutting edge’ have long gone.

Its a bit embarrassing of far we’ve fallen on the world stage.

But your sons would be happy to fight for our country?

There’s a significant difference between a skilled immigrant that has gone through the correct legal channels to become a net contributor, and one that has turned up illegally with who knows what history, without skill or desire to integrate.

Countries actively look to attract the former. They don’t want the latter.

All organisations have an agenda - FSU have supported Palestine Action protestors and offered to support the person who celebrated Anne Widdecombes death- which of their recent cases do you disagree with? The point I was making is that our basic freedoms to express ourselves and critically debate ideas and religious beliefs is being eroded rapidly in UK and that for me is very concerning.

It's a wheel, no one stays at the top too long, the cutting edge I am talking about is about the collapse- we were ahead and we still are, just not in the best position.
It's amazing we have stayed anywhere on the world stage TBH- we are tiny and our influence is very much in the rear view mirror- the fact we are invited to the table at all reflects our skills.

I’m not sad that you’re happy. I’m suggesting that there’s an awful lot of deprivation around the country and you’re experience doesn’t cancel that out. Two people can be working in a workplace for example and experience two different workplaces. The people in the warehouse are having a very different experience to the c-suite running the place.