AIBU to think being wealthy is vastly overrated?

Perhaps you need to be more philanthropic OP. Look at our lovely Dolly (rip), mega rich and such a joyous person by giving loads of her money away and used it to do so much good. You may not be anywhere near her wealth but there is so much you can do with the excess money that’s making you miserable. It can truly give you purpose.

I just don't understand this. aren't you friends with other medical people? They are all in a similar bracket surely. I can appreciate you won't be meeting many wall street financiers in the mid west (now they're the guys making the money) but surely your circle includes enough well off people that you are in a similar grouping. Actually in the mid west you might be surprised who is wealthier than you. Suspect it is like New England where flash isn't popular.

And surely you can be friends with people who are doing ok but not super wealthy without much angst? I suppose if you want to holiday by private jet and eat out in 5 star restaurants every week and talk about money all the time you might find it difficult to find a group of friends but otherwise ... don't get it.

We are in the US. DH is a physician. I am in another profession. We make a lot of money. We mix with people who make a lot less, people who probably make a lot more and people who clearly make a ton more. We don't talk about money much. Our kids were no more pressured than other kids - and a lot less when it came to education as they didn't have to think about student aid/scholarships when it came to university.

Do you give a lot to charity? with those assets you could get very involved in supporting a charity you like. And if you are sick of it all you could become a doctor to the homeless/indigent - we know a few who do this. Not as lucrative but very fulfilling and their families are doing just fine.

You are working hard and earning a lot. Clearly that is not making you happy. It sounds like you could work a bit less hard/fewer hours/give up work and have a pretty decent income. Something is keeping your nose to the grind stone, is it ambition? compulsion? expectations? What would you do if you were free to pursue all that you think you are sacrificing? We worked hard, sacrificed stuff made a decent income but decided we would retire early (relative to friends). Money provides you with choices that are not available to people with a lot less income and they work just as hard as you and have stresses you cannot imagine.

Maybe it’s living in the US that’s actually making you miserable?

I know. But it’s easier said than done to take yourself out of it. Just me, maybe easier.
But the children are at school, doing well, in sports teams, theatre groups, choirs etc etc. All my friends and support network are here doing the same thing. The rat race is all I’ve known for 20 years. It’s a great life in the main. And I don’t have the balls to test the alternative.

You don't need to earn millions to send your children to a good school and to extracurricular activities. And you don't have to keep up with your ultra rich neighbours. It's a choice.

Sorry but based on your annual income, the portion that’s from investing and assuming you’ve made this level of income for a few years, you could both afford to stop working and live off investment income and still have a relatively comfortable standard of living.

So with respect and from someone who’s also wealthy (not quite the same level but way above average) get a grip!

If you’re not happy make a change. You only get one life. I don’t understand your comments about DC being under pressure either? Compared to children from most other households they’ll be living the dream.

I don’t mean to be rude by the way, I get money doesn’t buy you happiness, but it does buy you time and give you choices so you should use it however best you need to to afford that.

It is almost certainly a fake post designed specifically to generate outrage. On forums like Mumsnet, this type of post is referred to as "trolling" or "rage-bait."
While it is impossible to definitively prove it is made up without knowing the author, the post relies heavily on fabricated timelines and classic internet tropes designed to provoke a highly emotional response.
Here is a breakdown of why this post is highly suspect:

1. The Improbable Medical Timeline

• The Training: Becoming an oncologist in the US requires 4 years of undergraduate study, 4 years of medical school, 3 years of internal medicine residency, and 2 to 3 years of oncology fellowship.
• The Age Factor: Even without gap years, a doctor typically finishes this training around age 31 or 32. If they transferred from the UK, the US often requires foreign-trained doctors to repeat residencies, adding even more time.
• The Income: While oncologists are well-compensated, reaching "partner" status in a lucrative private practice and earning over a million dollars a year takes years of building a patient base and buying into the practice. Achieving this by 35 is exceptionally rare, if not impossible.

1. Textbook "Rage-Bait" Tropes

• The Humble-Brag: Framing an astronomical £5 million household income as a burden or "overrated."
• The Disconnect from Reality: Claiming that someone on an "average wage" can easily afford a comfortable house, a decent car, and holidays. In the current economic climate, this is glaringly out of touch and purposely written to invalidate the struggles of average earners.
• Blaming Poverty on Character: Stating that being completely broke is fine unless you make "brain dead decisions." This implies poverty is solely a moral failure, which is a classic tactic used by trolls to spark fierce arguments.

1. The Mumsnet Formula

Is this rage-bait.....? At this point I would kill to just be able to go to the supermarket and not have to see what I can get for a fiver.

When I had a few situations in first class seats on my own I felt lonely and moved to standard with the masses, in the Christmas spirit etc. When I had more money once, I felt jealous of things less wealthy people were doing. Remember the grass is always greener.
Look at all the people who achieved what many would also like to, but it wasn't enough so they ended it or took many drink or dr ugs, for example in the entertainment industry, Avicii, Alexander McQueen, Keith Flint. They could have done what many only wished, but they still weren't happy.
I was told by a psychologist that it isn't always what's happening that makes a person feel bad, but how they look at it. Some people can have awful things happen but they're resilient to keep going, while others might end it all over something others would see as small.
I went to quite a rough school in a poor area, but was one of the more well off, and I stopped telling people I was adopted, as even a girl from a family who made macaroni cheese with no cheese as they couldn't afford the cheese, looked all sad and said she was sorry my mother didn't keep me.

I don’t doubt it. Like I say, I feel incredibly grateful, but it’s a far cry from the £5m OP mentioned. Perhaps it’s just appreciation having come from a much lower income up bringing!

I’ll also add, we live a frugal life because of where we have come from, so £180 on LEGO still seems completely alien to me and such a special treat! Hence feeling like I’ve won the lottery!

Are your diamond shoes to tight!

I get what you are saying OP- money can't buy everything and having a lot of it will be your normal.

out of interest- why would an American have a breakdown in an nhs hospital?

I do think having a lot of money can bring a lot of problems too. Obviously it’s an incredibly privileged position to be in, but not without the negatives too. I think being comfortable is good.

I had my first child at 16, spent a year on benefits, them went to college / Uni and now i’m earning 70k plus a year. Not mega bucks, but 16yr old me could only have dreamed of having an income like this. I am single income household so it doesn’t make me rich, but I can buy a new top / splash out on a nice airfyer without having to worry, don’t have to wait for pay day for things etc. Only one adult child at home now too. So yeah, I am happy with what I have and if I won the lottery tomorrow I would be scared it could change some friendships etc and make me feel awkward.

You need therapy. Use some of that money to pay for a good shrink.

All you’ve really told us is that “cancer care” is huge business. Is thos person in the UK or USA - because there is still huge incentives in the UK oncology too.

Why don’t you go down to part time hours and spend more time with your young children?

I agree. Those timelines, amounts and even the story are extremely improbable.

Haha and me!

By having a made-up income from made-up investments and a made-up job?

Guys - applying a little common sense, and even putting the astonishingly unrealistic oncology training timeline aside, this is almost impossible.

In order for the OP to earn the alleged 1m passive income/year, they would need to have 13m invested, at the very least. And every penny of that 13m would need to be invested at the highest possible risk level to create those returns. And no one - no one - invests all their assets at that degree of risk. At the 10-15m level, it would be crazy to put more than 15% into very speculative investments. The more likely amount the OP would need would be around 20 invested.

As posted, they're outsmarting Warren Buffet with their rate of returns.

Yes, does money buy happiness is a legit discussion. This post, however, is a troll.

You poor poor thing! Id quite hapiily be a willing recipient if youd like to unburden yourself from all of that cash

Completely agree

I find your path to £1m, via a bit of eBay and part time UK jobs, a bit hard to swallow but I'll go with it. Also don't get how at 35 you can have DC but think you left having children late?
Are you and your husband in sync with what you want? Do want to stop accumulating and living but he still needs to climb another rung then that could make you miserable. Or is it just that you earn all this money but live somewhere you can't really enjoy it, it just sits in a bank account.
Are you just embarrassed about your wealth or annoyed it's not what your thought i.e. now you are rich you still aren't invited by Bezos or the Kardashians to their parties. I'm not being unkind but some very rich folk are still miserable as their wealth doesn't give them the access that they though it would and since you love your job I struggle to know why you would be meh about extra money, when it can just sit there or be given away.
Really you can only be happy with that amount of money if your friends and family have the same (or you have more but they think you have the same and you keep your mouth shut).

Maybe watch Schitts Creek a few times.

It's obviously bullshit. Just rage-bait that mumsnet are inexplicably not taking down.