AIBU to think being wealthy is vastly overrated?

Depends how you define poverty and wealth. For us wealth is appreciating phenomena - most of which is the priceless beauty of nature and warmth in humanity - and sharing what little or lot we might have with friends and family. This sounds corny but really that’s what we’ve focused on.

Cultural capital is hugely important, music and literature. We have a low income but that has not stopped us having a wide social circle, supportive family and creative community. Our young children are both already accomplished musicians and enjoy the arts, reading and low screen time - because we have time to spend with them because we’re not working every single hour of every single day.

I am confused as to why wealth is generally regarded as about money and only money. It’s about your sense of poverty or lack of. And appreciation, real authentic appreciation. That’s what it’s about!

The Easterlin paradox isn't just looking at one person's/family income, but their income relative to the whole country.

But yes, there have been studies on wealth and happiness. After all the needs are being more than met by £ then you probably don't become happier. What that amount is varies hugely, but I think we all know what the sentiment is.

Go camping in France with three kids for two weeks in the pouring rain, but with a pitch in the baking hot sun when it isn't raining. Add in a compost toilet and showers with less than 5 minutes of hot water. Now think about life happiness if that was your only holiday option (it was bizarrely a choice I made, and it made me realise that in fact I can deal with office politics, bullshit working hours and an awful commute to never have to do that again).

"The Easterlin paradox... has been extensively debunked. £120k doesn't even get you a nice house and a nice car and nice holidays and solid pension buildup."

It depends enormously on local house prices. But beyond that, some people are happy with simple, local holidays, and some people demand a luxurious house with pool a long flight away, two or three times a year. Similarly with the car. I'd say that £120K is a good salary anywhere in the UK, and is a very comfortable salary outside of London and the southeast. In many parts of the county, it's a salary beyond most people's wildest dreams. But people who become rich tend to change their expectations, and envy those who are even richer.

The Easterlin paradox... has been extensively debunked. £120k doesn't even get you a nice house and a nice car and nice holidays and solid pension buildup.

There is presumably some ceiling, though. Back when office jokes were photocopied rather than e-mailed, I remember this one: "Money doesn't make you happy. People with 10 million dollars are no happier on average than people with 9 million dollars".

Studies have shown that happiness plateaus after a salary of £120k.

As someone who was very wealthy, with a DH on a high 7 figure annual income, who is now struggling to pay bills and won’t be sending their child to University this month because of cost, YABU.

When they decided to have children they decided to have teenagers too.. fair point that the cost of living was easier then.

As I said they're teenagers so not children anymore. When they had them rent was cheaper, cost of living was cheaper, everything was cheaper. They were able to take holidays more regularly. The eldest is now at an age where he is applying for a part time jobs around studying but it's proving difficult.

The world was a different place 17 years ago I'm sure you'll agree we couldn't have seen this coming.

Yes they still decided to have 3 children? What did they think would happen?

No it is not vastly overrated.
I think what's happening here is you are vastly underrating the 'average' income and what it can buy.
I have a sibling who's husband works in the private sector as a head nurse- a good salary of around £50k (quite a bit above average) 3 teenage children and she works part time, is desperately trying to find full time work. They cannot afford to buy a house, a huge chunk goes on rent, the weekly shop has turned into a traumatic event, watching how much everything is increasing week on week, they go with a sense of dread. The school holidays were very difficult because they can't afford to go out anywhere- there's only so much board games, going for walks etc you can do.. On top of that they dread winter with the heating bills, quite often I've gone there in the colder months and the house is cold...
They haven't had a family holiday abroad in many years, if they're lucky they'll go camping somewhere in the UK for a week, but they haven't been able to do that for the last four years.
Penny counting affects just about every single decision you make and with my sister it's at the forefront of her mind all the time.
She would love to have the the same problems as you.

I mean... if I had an income of 5 million.... id do a couple of years work, pop into a high yield saving and live on the interest.... comfortably I might add.... i wouldnt keep keep going and then moan about it, to a bunch of people who likely struggle to make ends meat....

This is clearly you trying to flex on people disguising it as your life been hard despite clearly having enough to change it!!! Your sacrifice was having to move somewhere new, mine was deciding not to eat so my family could, huge difference... and I am by no means poor, I am very slightly above the average wage!

You can stop anytime you like, you know that right?

Yeah but if you save well you can retire in about 5 years right?

Then give most of it away and avoid all that stress!

Whoever told you that it was that important? As an intelligent person surely you had some understanding that money in itself is not the key to happiness… beyond a certain level. Choices that put money above loved ones and family are not likely to be worth it, along with choices that stop you from following your passions and dreams. I don’t think you have been misled OP, I think you have been naive to have not realised this. Money doesn’t buy happiness is well known for a reason.

No its an example of creative writing. I would guess the OP disappeared because they couldn't explain the holes in the story when people realised some of it made no sense.

Sounds like the move to US was to be super wealthy rather than career focused. Maybe consider job share in NHS in UK and then you’d earn considerably less but gain a work life balance with some time to enjoy your DC while you still have the energy for it. You’d also be able to be grounded with other more normal income folk like the nurses and AHPs in your team and other parents at a state funded school.

OP, you've probably got tired of people denigrating you so no worries if you don't read it. I for one don't judge you, even though you have very different life chances to me (it's my 37th birthday and I was just weeping as I realised no one advised me correctly on benefits when I became disabled).

The void you feel is informed by your wealth, but not unique to it. You mention nothing about any voluntary work or philanthropy you do. Deep down you know your money, particularly the half from investing, is based on some sort of exploitation or inequality. This is the reality, however, of EVERYONE on this forum - based in the West, we hold all of the world's wealth. This cognitive dissonance results in the ennui you describe.

As an oncologist you will know how your patients' cancers are affected by their socio-economic status. The money you take from their insurance you know is unaffordable to so many in poverty in the US. You need to use that surplus to help those who have less, to reduce poverty, to campaign against privatised healthcare, to provide healthcare for those in the countries impoverished by the West. This is the maxim that has guided humanity to greatness again and again. Be part of it. Good luck!

Better to be holding a pity party in a mansion than a cardboard box.

par for the course for Mumsnet :D

I think this post is fake

I would like to have the chance to find out for myself if being wealthy is overrated

Maybe be like Dolly Parton. Give what you don’t need away. There’s lots of satisfaction to be had helping others.

The responses on this post explain why point 2 exists.