AIBU to change schools over my husband helping a neighbour?

Couple of things. I mean obviously everyone has already pointed out how wild this is! But have you ever spoken to her to address her over familiar-ness? The car pack is odd and I’d question that for sure, but actually to her. Also have you ever thought how this looks to your DH? The level of distrust it implies? That you’d uproot and move your kids school because you’re concerned he’d have an affair with a neighbour ?! The fact he didn’t challenge this move makes me wonder just how much of your insecurities he’s having to manage. You’re effectively pushing him away.

No - stop making the husband's poor management of this situation, the OP's fault!
She has already stated that her h has other female friends and there's no issue. Neighbour has been way out of line and h has not had his wife's back. This is on him for failing to shut down the neighbour.
Personally, I would struggle to remain married to someone who, at best was weak and pathetic and at worst, disloyal.

After reading your OP and replies, I find it funny that mums net always say trust your gut then turn around and slam you for trusting your gut. If your husband wont listen and shes blanking you and leaving stuff in his car thats weird. Why do both of them need to do the school run? Trust your gut she wants something.

Good for you for not pretending it's all normal, and for seeing her for what she is.

I'd never forgive him for humiliating you in the first place. He obviously knows she's heavily interested in him and has been reciprocating at least verbally. It must feel very satisfying to pull the rug right out from under her in this way.

But if he's determined to fuck her/continue flirting with her, he will. As you say though at least you won't have to see her at school.

This is beyond bizarre. But I assume you've ascertained this from the responses, but it bothers you none.

I'm just appalled that 14% of respondents think that changing schools on this basis is reasonable

But the OP has said they are new to the area and didn’t get their first choice of schools and it works well to move the kids.

I'm sorry this is weird behaviour towards your Husband and unfair to the Child, you are making their lives miserable

You must be so Insecure. I pity you

Yes, but they decided on a school and the children were/are established in the school!

I’m assuming the OP has binned the “care pack”. What a cheek. Dunno bout moving schools, think I’d want to move house. She sounds horrible, cadging lifts, moving her stuff into the car and blanking OP.

Strokes chin

I did originally think it was an overreaction but subsequent posts saying how much easier it would be for wraparound care and you to do the pickups etc made me think fair enough.

But that frankly bizarre ‘care pack’? Your instincts are correct to be bothered by that.

WTF? Crazy.

“So I decided we would change dc school”

No, you decided you would change dc school.

Absolute unreasonable control freak 🤦🏻‍♀️

Seriously? Moving children schools just because dad is being nice and offering a neighbour and her child a lift. You sound really insecure. I feel for your DC because they are technically being punished just because dad was being nice. Moving schools is a huge thing for a child and shouldn't be taken lightly as they'll be leaving teachers, classmates and be the new kid. Its not a nice place to be.

i thought you were over reacting initially. But I'd be annoyed if a neighbour stuck a 'care pack' of toiletries in my car in case hubbie gave them a lift and looked at me daggers whilst being friendly with hubbie. I suspect you can see an 'under-mining' threat that men are often oblivious to..... given that it's a better school and easier for you to do drop off's in future plus the wrap around I'm inclined on this occasion to think YANBU

If this woman’s vibe is ambiguous in the way she deals with your husband I think you did right. Maybe imposing boundaries to your husband if something doesn’t feel right could have been the first move.

Her reaction sounds like she’s very close to him, which for me doesn’t feel good.

How did he react?
I would keep an eye, to me feeling insecure is not the same as protecting my family unity.

I’m sure as a woman you felt something wrong going on.

so YANBU

You have more than insecurities
You're bloody bat shit crazy

I think the neighbour is the insecure one, parking her "care pack" in the car and being rude to the OP. What is she trying to prove, that she's irresistible to all men and hates women? As the OP is perfectly happy with her husband's other female friends I think her instincts are spot-on here.

Immensely intuitive apt comment
Yes completely concur with you

Can you explain the part about her hating women please?. I don't get why you're saying that..

The OP says this woman blanks her and is rude for no apparent reason while sucking up to her husband, expecting lifts and putting her stuff in their car without asking. Hardly neighbourly behaviour and suggests she has a problem with other women. You may disagree, that is my opinion.

@Bunny65 ok yes I see you mean it shows she hates the woman who is the OP. Doesn't really show us that she hates women in general. No worries

It shows an attitude which is unlikely to only be directed at the OP. I am not talking literally about every woman in the world obviously but if you want to take it that literally it's up to you.