AIBU to change schools over my husband helping a neighbour?

I disagree. The reasoning behind it doesnt alter the fact that it is a better school, is more convenient for the whole family and the kids have friends there. All I can see is a win/win!

@T1Dmama not sure why you've highlighted my post.
Doesn't matter my experience on moving schools, I still think she's absolutely bonkers to move schools, even if her kid thinks it's hunky dory.

@QuirkyHorse moving schools obviously had an effect on you - however OP has said the kids don’t care and have friends in both schools.. and that it’s a better school anyway…
Some kids have no issues moving schools and mix well, and I’m sure if OP’s children had struggled settling in their new area she wouldn’t be moving them again.. but her kids obviously must mix and settle well

You think your husband is having and affair or has some deranged stalker woman, so you changed your son’s school. It’s all ok though, because it turns out, that’s easier for you. I’m sure you’ll insist that it’s fine because he loves his new school. Having been forced to change schools, I would,have said the same to my mum too.

Poor kid, caught in the crossfire of 3 adults not being able to act with maturity.

I'm sorry to hear your lovely Mum experienced this & equally glad to know she discovered it was not personal - Yes I've come across numerous women like this, especially when I worked in a gym, & usually those women who see & treat other women as competition & a threat, are immensely insecure -
It seems it might well sadly be, that the female who the original commenter is speaking of here, most likely wants her husband for her own means, hence ridiculously resents, his dear wife being present 🙏

Remembered another toxic woman.

Although she was ok if you were rich enough and she wanted to be in your gang. She got well in with the rich women of the village her boyfriend (my then boss, who was v v rich) lived in. My (now exH) and my boss had been friends for years and there was quite a gang of us at a party. She and I had the "hi how are you chat", not much love lost but we were always superficially polite for the sake of the group as I was far too common for the likes of her. As often happens you end up with a bit of a circle of friends chatting together and as we did the "yes fine thanks...." ending, she turned and I dont actually know how she did it....but I ended up literally standing outside the circle! As she turned she sort of stepped forward and I was .....outside! It was actually quite impressive, obviously she had done this before.

My ex and another friend both noticed this. Ex said "Excuse me [bitch] dont push Pyong out please" and she did this simpering "oh I didnt realise!" thing. She fucking knew. For an abusive bastard, he could actually be quite chivalrous on occasion!

Boss married her and she left him after 2 years and took him for as much as she could, which everyone except him had predicted. No fool like an old fool.

I agree, I have encountered women like this and they dont see other women as potential friends or part of the sisterhood, but as competition for men's attention.

My fathers friends first wife was like this, she was staggeringly rude to my mother, ignoring her completely if they visited and only talking to the men. Mum thought it was just her and refused to haver her visit again. Then mum and dad went to a party they had and she was like that to virtually all the other women too. Pathetic really.

I don't know this woman obviously but her behaviour, according to what the OP has said, suggests to me that she has a problem with other women generally. I don't believe this sort of behaviour is likely to be a one-off. Why rationally would you be so rude to a neighbour for no reason, especially when you want to cadge lifts to school?

@Bunny65 sorry. Women means women generally. Anyway I won't say anything more.

It shows an attitude which is unlikely to only be directed at the OP. I am not talking literally about every woman in the world obviously but if you want to take it that literally it's up to you.

@Bunny65 ok yes I see you mean it shows she hates the woman who is the OP. Doesn't really show us that she hates women in general. No worries

The OP says this woman blanks her and is rude for no apparent reason while sucking up to her husband, expecting lifts and putting her stuff in their car without asking. Hardly neighbourly behaviour and suggests she has a problem with other women. You may disagree, that is my opinion.

Can you explain the part about her hating women please?. I don't get why you're saying that..

Immensely intuitive apt comment
Yes completely concur with you

I think the neighbour is the insecure one, parking her "care pack" in the car and being rude to the OP. What is she trying to prove, that she's irresistible to all men and hates women? As the OP is perfectly happy with her husband's other female friends I think her instincts are spot-on here.

You have more than insecurities
You're bloody bat shit crazy

If this woman’s vibe is ambiguous in the way she deals with your husband I think you did right. Maybe imposing boundaries to your husband if something doesn’t feel right could have been the first move.

Her reaction sounds like she’s very close to him, which for me doesn’t feel good.

How did he react?
I would keep an eye, to me feeling insecure is not the same as protecting my family unity.

I’m sure as a woman you felt something wrong going on.

so YANBU

i thought you were over reacting initially. But I'd be annoyed if a neighbour stuck a 'care pack' of toiletries in my car in case hubbie gave them a lift and looked at me daggers whilst being friendly with hubbie. I suspect you can see an 'under-mining' threat that men are often oblivious to..... given that it's a better school and easier for you to do drop off's in future plus the wrap around I'm inclined on this occasion to think YANBU

Seriously? Moving children schools just because dad is being nice and offering a neighbour and her child a lift. You sound really insecure. I feel for your DC because they are technically being punished just because dad was being nice. Moving schools is a huge thing for a child and shouldn't be taken lightly as they'll be leaving teachers, classmates and be the new kid. Its not a nice place to be.

“So I decided we would change dc school”

No, you decided you would change dc school.

Absolute unreasonable control freak 🤦🏻‍♀️

WTF? Crazy.

I did originally think it was an overreaction but subsequent posts saying how much easier it would be for wraparound care and you to do the pickups etc made me think fair enough.

But that frankly bizarre ‘care pack’? Your instincts are correct to be bothered by that.

Strokes chin

I’m assuming the OP has binned the “care pack”. What a cheek. Dunno bout moving schools, think I’d want to move house. She sounds horrible, cadging lifts, moving her stuff into the car and blanking OP.

Yes, but they decided on a school and the children were/are established in the school!