DH’s digging ‘hobby’ is consuming our lives (Title edited by MNHQ at the request of the OP)

3 days a week but is this 6am til gone midnight or 9am til 5pm or..

What did you want to do with that time instead? What is this stopping you doing?

As hobbies go, one that occasionally pays its way is pretty good stuff, but if you had in mind floating off on long holidays and him only doing his hobby once a month, I can see how it'd get in the way.

On the other hand if your intention is that you both sit about the house together doing sweet FA, then you're massively unreasonable. It's 3/7, you have four whole days plus the other three evenings!

Is there any chance that you're jealous he has found a hobby he loves and that pays, and you haven't got a similar thing to do, or had intended on relying on him to entertain you?

Thanks for a great giggle! I spat my coffee out.

I agree with PP that having a hobby or pastime is important. 3 days a week does not sound excessive. If you cant muster an interest in archaeology then find something that does appeal to you to do on those days. Many women complain that their retired OH is hanging around the house and annoying them so you are really quite fortunate not to have him under your feet.

I would so love to do what he is doing. Digging, not dogging.
Get a hobby of your own.

Oh god that is how I'd like to spend my retirement (not dogging I hasten to add)

Haven't you got anything else going on OP? Any hobbies of your own. I would hate to be together 24/7 with my very lovely DP 7 days a week.

He sounds marvellous! He's got something he's passionate about, new friends, keeping fit AND earning extra cash. AND not under your feet all the time.

Most retirement posts are people complaining that their husband is boring and now does nothing all day.

I think you need to find your own hobbies or interests and pursue them - especially now you have this bonus extra cash injection.

Edit - read it’s in fact 3 days a week not 3 days out of a month, another typo.

is the issue that you want to travel? Why not schedule in a trip or some days out together? I also think it’s healthy to have your own interests, why don’t you get some hobbies too?

• swimming
• walking group
• lunch with a friend
• art class
• art gallery
• travel to nearest town for a mooch
• Sports

What exactly are you complaining about? His archaeological work sounds fascinating. It will keep his mind and body fit and active. My mom is retired and spends at least 3 days a week on tasks, similar to her career. Were you just hoping to be clinging to your husband 7 days a week? In what way are you not enjoying retired life? Tbh your username is a bit extreme- if that's how you feel. Perhaps you should also find fun things to do.

It's a bit like him starting a small business isn't it?

I think in retirement, him spending three days each week on something he enjoys is absolutely fine, assuming he is then spending the other four days of the week with you or contributing to the housework.
The problem is you have different ideas of what your retirement should be. Perhaps for him it is not needing to go out to work and spending his time enjoying himself. Perhaps for you it is finally spending time together after he or both of you have been busy working and/or raising kids.
This difference in expectations ultimately killed my parents marriage within two years of their retirement. My mum was desperate to spend their time together after my dad had spend 40 years working all hours. My dad was desperate to spend all his time on hobbies. I really recommended you sit down together to discuss and compromise on expectations.
What that looks like is for you both to agree but it could be something like each of you spend three days enjoying your time separately, one day getting chores and errands done, and three days enjoying time together.

Every week I do-

Pottery class
Art lesson
WI
Craft group
Have coffee with a group of friends

Plus I belong to 2 book clubs

Most retired friends have lots going on separately,totally normal in my world.

That leaves 4 days a a week for you to do stuff together. Surely he's allowed his own hobbies in retirement.

I would have thought this is exactly what retirement is for. Doing things you really enjoy but didn't have time for whilst working, whether that's digging or dogging. I wouldn't have had a problem with this.

It depends on what you think he/you should be doing with that time. If you just want him hanging around the house keeping you company, then YABU. If, however, you'd got plans to do regular days out or trips away together then it does rather limit your opportunities. What you need to make sure is that you're not just being left at home to pick up all the housework/admin whilst he's off out enjoying himself.

How does this impact your life @Hobbywiddow26?
Do you only have one car and no access to public transport?
Do you have hobbies yourself?

Honestly you will be very pleased he isn’t in the house on those three digging days, wondering what’s for lunch or what you are doing that day.

I started to feel like the entertainments committee and found myself thinking of lunch options as soon as breakfast was finished.

We have separate hobbies and it works really well.

Find yourself something to do that you enjoy and look forward to evenings and the other 4 days.

There's 7 days in a week, he is using less than half.

I think it's wonderful he has found something he enjoys.

Do you need to be attached to him 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

be happy he is well enough and fit enough to do this, he may not be fit enough forever.

and the bonus is some of this is ' paid ' opportunities - that's even better !

A lovely typo in the title and I came along too late to see it! Objecting to that (the original) would BVR,

But moving along, I don't think "in the last month he has spent at least 3 week days on jobs related to this" sounds selfish or obsessive. Less than a day a week? You must want him very close to home if that's a problem. Sorry, but I think YABU.

Nothing helpful to add, but oh my, I wish I'd seen the original title!

Surely there's plenty of time left to do things together?
I know a retired couple where the DH has no interests of his own and it's driving her mad. If she arranges to have a coffee or lunch with a friend he wants to come too. It's a bit pathetic.

I should not have opened this as I joined a meeting. 😂

Anyone who is amused with the original title - check out Fascinating Aida and their song “Dogging” but don’t listen with any little kids about the place…😂

I’d have thought your DH being occupied 3 days a week was a good thing OP, give you chance to do your own thing? It’ll only be a spring/summer thing presumably.

That still leaves 4 days a week doing couple stuff

At the end of the day this is what he is interested in and is going to spend 3 days a week of his retirement doing it whether paid or not. The fact he is getting paid means you have more money to spend on the other 4 days doing days out , meals and short breaks.

I'm still laughing at the typo.

But, no if he loves digging, leave him to it. There are plenty more days in the week to do things together. You don't have to be in each other's pockets all the time.

Sounds perfect to me.
What do you do with your time OP?

Bloody hell op, it’s 3 days a week doing a hobby. What were you expecting in retirement? To live in each others pockets 24/7 sitting and watching the telly. He could be golfing or fishing or going to the pub every day. Instead he’s going out and doing healthy physical activity that he really enjoys. Do you not have any hobbys or friends?