DH’s digging ‘hobby’ is consuming our lives (Title edited by MNHQ at the request of the OP)

3 days a week is surely much less than when he was working?

Sounds a fabulous hobby.

You say you've both only recently retired. I can tell you for a fact that if you've been insisting he's doing something with you 7 days a week since you retired, ten years down the line you'll be paying that company to take him from you for 3 days a week. I assume that because you are so recently retired it means that you'd (at least) like to be doing some travelling, presumably with your DH. But is the "work" he's doing really stopping you from taking extended trips? I would assume that the archeological digs he's "working" on don't have him tied to a fixed contract. Can he not get leave to go travelling (or whatever it is you want to do with him full-time) and then return to the "job"? And if your irritation with him being out of the house 3 days a week is not about interrupting a travel schedule, what is it you'd want him to be doing with you instead? I think he's going to do just fine in retirement; you, however, may be struggling unless you also can find something that occupies your time.

😜

OP why not take up dogging although I suspect this is more an evening activity you might find your husband accompanies you. That way you can still be together

😆

Of course that was a typo. 🙄

On the off chance you are actually seeking advice, you surely wouldn't want to be joined at the hip? If your husband spends three days a week on his hobby, that still leaves you the majority of the week to be together, in addition to mornings and evenings.

It seems to me like he's missing work, the routine of it and how it gets him out of the house. I don't think he's alone in that and it seem more men need this to add something meaningful to their lives.

How are you together the rest of the time? Is it enjoyable, or are you seeing this new work or hobby as something that will take him further away from you?

How fantastic, you can be a couple as well as two individuals pursuing your own hobbies and interests.

We're retired and I wish my husband had something like this. He's a big presence in the house, he doesn't do anything quietly and he talks a lot. His retirement has been a huge adjustment for me (I'm also thrilled he doesn't have to work anymore after many years of long hours.)

That said, I wouldn't like it if it prevented us from doing the things we'd planned to do together or left him too tired to do other things.

Helping on archeological digs is literally my dream retirement 🤣

You are being unreasonable. Have you got any hobbies yourself?

What would you like to be doing together instead OP?

He's finally got the opportunity to get involved with an interest he's always held, and it's good to stay active in retirement. You still have more than half the week to do other stuff. If you're bored while he's out then maybe get a hobby or volunteering position of your own?

I think he’s entitled to do what he enjoys, he doesn’t need to baby sit you, the answer is not to stop him doing what he wishes but find something fulfilling for you to do. Follow his example,

When we retired, in my head, we would be spending days out, going out for coffee, seeing friends, doing everything together. Then I realised that spending all day, every day with the same person means we have nothing to talk about. The hot weather has meant that we have not been out much and so I am glad that DH has hobbies that means he has to go out and keep his mind and body active so I don’t have to discuss that Mavis, 3 doors down has a visitor!

I'd certainly love my old knees to be up to this! Wonderful, is this a new hobby or was he inspired by the series Dogging for Britain?

3 days a week how is that taking over your life, what do you want him to do op stay indoors with you 24/7 he`s retired not dead.
I go magnet fishing and love it, more so in the winter im never in.

Why not find some interest(s) of your own?

A good many retired women are only too pleased if their retired dh takes himself off out of the house. I’ve known of some whose wives can never get rid of them - the bloke wants to do everything together, always around the house wanting his DW to suggest something to do.

My dh has enjoyed several activities on his own ever since he retired. I’m the same - we’ve never been joined at the hip.

It works fine for us, anyway.

Good for him. This is what retirement is for. You need to find some interests of your own. Expecting your DH to be with you 7/7 is unreasonable.

So he’s doing this for three days a week leaving you with 4 other days together. YABU for asking him to cut back something he enjoys.

Its not as if you still both work and he’s fitting this in, leaving you with not much time together.

Its not healthy to spend every moment of the day together, why don’t you look into filling the days he’s busy with something for yourself.

Meet for lunch with family and friends, start a hobby, join a gym, go and get a massage!

Surely you can fill 3 days with something you want to do? What will you talk about if you don't do things outside being together.

The time to get annoyed would be if it impacts travel together or his willingness to be involved in family life more generally.But taken at face value it sounds great. He will be outside and moving too which will be good for his health in the long term.

But that still leaves 4 days a week you can spend together.
I have been on a few archeological digs - they are brilliant.

@Hobbywiddow26 You need to find yourself a hobby. It's great that he's passionate about something.

I think it’s fantastic that he has the opportunity to do what he’s interested in , get yourself a hobby @Hobbywiddow26

Jesus, I’d rather go dogging than digging.

Leave him to it - he’s happy.

Better he’s out than being home and talking about archeological digs.

If my other half expected me
to be at their beck and call 7/7 I’d be looking for something to do at least 3/7!

Retirement is the time to flourish and live life to the full - together AND as individuals. Seize the moment!