To tell my MIL if she wants a son to name she can go have one and not be engrossed on what I choose to name my son.

I do hope that you are rewarded with a daughter in law who feels about you the same way you feel about your MiL.
That would be absolutely divine....

Our grandchildren were named by their parents. We had no say in the matter, nor did we expect to.

I was with you at first and wondered why you were getting a hard time. Then you made the contaminate comment which is awful. Now you're bleating on because a proud GM wanted to show all her FB friends her new DGS. Big deal. I can understand not wanting your DS posted continually, but a one-off picture of him days old is ok. No-one's going to recognise him from that picture. You're starting to sound unhinged.

Well you said you’re not surprised she cried so all I can take from that is there is endorsement there. The OP has outlined there is a history of overstepping, emotional manipulation and suffocating behaviour here. So I certainly wouldn’t use the presence of tears as any indication of wrongdoing on the part of the OP. Crocodile tears are a well-utilised manipulation tactic.

You can name your children as you wish but you must surely have realised giving him two names honouring your side of the family AND double-barrelling his surname with your family’s name would have caused friction with your husband’s side of the family.

Thought it was both of your surnames? So first name - your side, second name - your side, surname - husband and again your side?
Sorry, I don't want to come across mean but it definitely feels a lot one-sided.

There is no other reason for you to address me as though I’ve endorsed the mother in law’s behaviour other than you think that I do.

My eldest son is named after my dad & grandad and my second son is named after DH’s side of the family. They’re in their 20s now & nobody has ever had an issue with it.

And yours.

As a boy mum, you may one day see where she is coming from if your son ever has a child named after his partner's relatives. I'm not saying that she is right, just how you may feel if the mother of your grandchild seems to be all for her family.

What have I extrapolated? What is “that”?

Impressive you’ve managed to extrapolate that from my post.

I tend to read the words in front of me, rather than making them up. So yes we are indeed, all different.

So many upholders of the patriarchy on here. Be nice! Be kind! Shut up and take it! It’s so refreshing to hear of a poster who is not prepared to take any shit!

I personally wouldn’t keep going on about a perfectly acceptable name choice to a woman who gave birth three weeks ago. I wouldn’t keep trying to emotionally manipulate a woman who just gave birth to my GC. But I guess we’re all different.

Right?! So many batshit replies on this thread “it’s not fairrrrr!”

It is up to the mother and father to decide, as long as they both had input what is the problem 🤣

It’s really refreshing to have parents not plastering their children all over social media and respecting a child’s privacy.

Every day is mental, you need to tell her no!

I wonder if the millions upon millions upon millions of parents of daughters who witness their daughter give up her family name when she gets married, and her subsequent children also do not have the same family name as the mother’s side also feel this way? Oh no, I forgot, women can give up their names without a thought, but heaven forfend a man agrees to name his child after his wife’s father. Now that’s insensitive(!)

This is an incredibly uncomfortable read. You sound as if you hate her and want nothing to do with her. It does sound too as if she oversteps boundaries and I imagine it’s suffocating having her visit so often. I get the feeling that you’d happily cut contact, it’s almost like you’re itching to do so. Something about your posts is incredibly depressing on both sides really.

Well done OP. You have shown her you won’t be bullied and she will not be able to get away with any nonsense in your presence. Keep at it until she winds her neck in. These characters often step things up a notch during a time of vulnerability (e.g. you just having given birth), so don’t accept crap treatment and don’t back down, otherwise you’ll be putting up with this for the rest of your life.

If it was put to her like that, I’m not surprised she cried!

I’m not my mother in laws greatest fan by any means, but I don’t speak to, or about her, as though she’s something I wouldn’t step in.

If she mentions it again OP, smile sweetly, say “we have already had this conversation, but MIL you could ask the question on Gransnet and get some advice there about it”?

She will be “told” 😃

'She cried because we told her to either delete the photo of our son off her shitty Facebook or never see him again.'

Crumbs! Poor MIL. I'm nit surprised she cried.

I’m surprised that you can’t see that maybe it didn’t feel fair that both the baby’s names are after your family, you could have done one of the names after one of his relatives.
I also think you were unnecessarily sharp with MiL. Your point might be true, but that doesn’t mean you need to be stroppy about it.
None of us can know whether MiL’s comments were just passing comment, or repeated digs, only you can know that.
But she is now part of your family, and it is better if you can get on with her. My tip to you would be if there is any confrontation required, let DH do it. It is nicer if you can be inclusive and at least aware of potential issues, so that you can explain your reasoning. “MiL, we’re calling the baby xyz. The x is after my dad bc and the y is for my grandad. I feel a bit bad that DH’s family names are not being used on this occasion, but for the next baby we are thinking of using one of your family names.” Which you should be, in the circumstances.
I know when I was pregnant with DC2, my gran mentioned that she was sad we hadn’t used my deceased grandpa’s name for DC1. So we used it for DC2 ( as a middle name, as I didn’t like the name much). My brother and his wife used that grandma’s name as a middle name for their DD, because they knew it meant something to her.
Yes of course you can name your child whatever you want, but it doesn’t hurt to be diplomatic.

It’s completely suffocating for her to be coming round every day. especially as your DH has taken three months’ parental leave. He needs to tell her to back off. Twice a week for one hour feels about right.

'contaminate'?