To tell my MIL if she wants a son to name she can go have one and not be engrossed on what I choose to name my son.

My children are all named after people on my side of the family, DH could have of course disagreed and I’d of listened but he liked them and I basically just told everyone it was tough! It’s mum & dads job to name the baby no one else’s

I’m currently going through this with my own mother. It’s draining and starting to become downright rude. Good for you.

I really do hope that rant is because you are postpartum, because you are coming across as a really unpleasant person.

Would someone neutral who knew both you and your MIL say that you're quite alike in temperament?

Christ your dh has married his mother @TwinklyPoster

Yea I can read just fine. Both the babies first names were from her side of the family.

I think we all know the answer 😂

I would say that you are well matched, you sound as though you want complete control. As a matter of interest which surname is coming first?

In your position she would not be welcome in my home

Of course you get to name your son but how would you feel if the baby had BOTH names from your husband's side ?
I think you are being unreasonable to not understand whay your mum in law is a bit miffed .

I never had any MIL problems — sadly, she died before we got married. But she was lovely and I cannot see she would have interfered in any way.
But my own DM really took against the name we chose for DS. It was ‘too Irish’ (DH’s background.)
Not that she offered any alternatives, apart from Sarah (!).
Anyway she soon came around after he was born and loved the name. It suited him and was absolutely right. He loves it too.

Maybe going forward you and your mil could find a better way of communicating with one another. All this aggression and bad feeling does bode well .

Read up about narcissist families and enabler dads. Golden child and scapegoat
She's obviously trying to make your grandson her new golden child so she can manipulate and play games.
Just play it cordial and breezy
If she was upset from just the one thing that'd be fine but she's not acting our of good faith it seems

DH needs to set a day with her or say mum, you can't come over everyday, come over xyz day
Or go to lunch together with her so you're out of the house.
Or you can just reverse the roles and be bossy back to her! Lol
She will either sulk or get into line sharpish

She will probably lose interest if she is just using your son as a tactic to make the other siblings feel bad. But time will tell

I will say that even narcissistic people can still be loving just in their own way. And it's still nice to have relationships with her if she will just grumble and not try too much to meddle. After all everyone has some issues. As long as she is safe and looks after ds well, you will see as time goes on
I wouldn't start no contacting her or encouraging husband to, just take her as she comes and keep batting her back if it's too much. Clear communication from dh
He should maybe look into therapy or reading a few books on family dynamics and relationships as stuff may come up for him through being a father.

I'm so sorry OP,
This is the bit where you and DH are supposed to be getting to know your baby and you are recuperating and getting into the swing of parenting. She is being incredibly overbearing and I'm not surprised you snapped at her.

It's none of her business whatsoever you name your child and she shouldn't have tried to interfere. Sometimes, whilst not ideal, being snapped at will be more effective for people like this with no boundaries. It's understandable that you're hormonal and frustrated if she is turning up each day.

I think at this point DH needs to speak to his mother and tell her to back off for a few days/ a week so you can settle as it's clearly causing you a lot of stress which isn't healthy for any of you.

Sending best wishes.

Also your surname, and both christian names from your side of the family. As a grand - grandmother I can see where she is coming from, a slight imbalance.

I'm with you, OP, albeit a bit less aggressively!

DH and I are from different countries and cultures. We live in a third country, where DH grew up. His parents adopted this third country as their own, swear by it as the land of the free and the good, credit it with giving them everything they have. They suffered enormous racism and discrimination which they're so traumatized by that they won't even talk about it. But, whatever. Their life, their position, who am I to say anything.

I come from a country which has the opposite view of their adopted country. As in, diametrically opposite and was raised fully in that vein. Whatever, my life, my position, who is anyone to say anything.

When our DC were born, we chose names that were more or less from his culture and mine but could be easily pronounced in the adopted country (it wasn't easy!). One name can only be pronounced one way, realistically, and everyone pronounces it that way.

The second name - ooof! Many ways it could be pronounced, but DH and I pronounce it in a way that reflects its origins and our shared origins and whatever crossover of ethnicity. PIL? Absolutely, point blank refuse to employ that pronounciation, despite repeated reminders in the early years that that's not how the name is pronounced. It's like Sara: in England you'd say saa-raa, or seh-rer. But if DH were Israeli Jewish and I was Lebanese Arab, we'd have a different pronounciation (I don't know what because I'm not from there and this is just an example!). PILs INSIST on using the English pronounciation.

In my mind, I think this is all about them thinking they're helping their grandchild assimilate, not stand out, not be picked on etc - ignoring completely the child's skin colour, that DH and I are proud of who we are and where we come from and actively choose not to have our children fully assimilate to the extent of eradicating/Anglicizing their very identity. I just see them as cowards, ignorant and afraid. It doesn't bother me and DC are plenty old enough now to make their own choices.

Basically, it's all about them and lives in their heads. No skin off my nose if the DC is irritated by them. Live and let live, it never once occurred to me to accept it!

She needs to stop yes, the names have been chosen by the babies parents. Done.
But I can see her point, you’ve named a child with three names from your family line and none from the fathers, she naturally upset about it but one mention should’ve been enough. It’s a shame as your dislike for her really comes across in your posts.