To tell my MIL if she wants a son to name she can go have one and not be engrossed on what I choose to name my son.

I read this as clearly every other woman in the family has got the measure of this MIL… she has a fave child (eww), isn’t kind to any of her DIL’s and is now completely in the way and omni present during ‘golden child’ s first weeks of being a dad. She sounds unbearable: overbearing and unkind. I don’t blame OP for wanting to keep her distance.

You were right to say something this early on op, whether is was snappy or not, you have hopefully put her in her place enough to not try to cross boundaries again, saved yourself years of trouble. Well done for not taking any shit. Congratulations on your lovely new son.

Nah, I've had my babies. What I didn't do was get into power conflicts with my MIL, call her "obsessed" or that she'd "contaminate" her grandchild and that if she hated the name, don't turn up to visit.
The OP is 37 not 19.

@TwinklyPosterAgatha is the MOST old fashioned name ever

Maybe they were thinking next baby can have his side. But honestly if her dh doesn’t really like the names on his side, or has a difficult relationship with them, then don’t use them. If I hadn’t liked my dad’s name I wouldn’t have used it as a middle name. If I’d had girls they wouldn’t have got my mum’s name as I don’t really like it.

Unless this is down to different cultures, this family naming malarkey seems more trouble than it’s worth.

Yes that comment gave away a lot.

Our Son is named after a friend and his first name has been used by both sides of his father's family. His second name is his father's name. My MIL was happy and so was my DH.
Our daughter was given a name we both liked and my MIL first name. Everyone was happy again.
it just shouldn't be this dramatic.

I'm assuming OP's DH isn't on the thread? I used to say 'my house' when I was a kid, even though it was in my mum's name and my mum and dad were paying the rent. DS is MY son, his dad can feck off.

She’s desperate for me to interact with her but I just don’t want to. I will respect but I don’t have anything to talk to her about and now we have a son she thinks we will be best friends no!

Don't you want to have a better relationship and try for your DHs sake?

The naming baby to honour relatives is also quite a dated practice isn't it?
So what? It's what the OP and her husband wanted to do. It has nothing to do with anyone else and I really don't see why anyone would feel the need to judge about it.

The OP's MIL is out of order, coming round almost daily when the OP is immediately post-partum and going on and on about the name.
OP, I'd leave the room any time she brings it up. Let your DH deal with it.

Your mother in law was wrong to comment on your name choice..
But you obviously don't like her.
What on earth do you mean when you say you don't want her to contaminate your son?

There is being direct and there is being openly hostile. For me, this crosses the line.

What the names are and why they were chosen is irrelevant.

"We have chosen the names that we liked and it is no longer a topic for discussion. Another biscuit, Marjorie?"

Telling someone who is past child bearing age to have one of their own is rude.

This isn’t remotely normal behaviour and maybe you can get some support from your DH’s siblings as well as him addressing the frequency of the unhelpful visits. It sounds like they recognise the problem behaviours around DH.

Grandparents’ role in naming a new child should be limited to “have you noticed those initials”, “really unfortunate associations due to X” and “that’s nice” before the event and “thats nice” after the event - even if you chose Pixie-FrouFrou BigBollux. Sometimes we see a problem worth mentioning beforehand but once named the deal is done and we get on with it.

What happens when DH tells her to plan visits in advance and limit them?

Is a prolonged stay at your parents and option to escape?

You don't like your mother in law and that's fine. You are of course perfectly free to chose any name you want. I think your delivery was harsh. Also the use of the word 'contaminate' says quite a lot as I doubt you feel your own family will 'contaminate' your son.

Your judgement is clouded by your dislike.

And your MIL has got you sussed.

I chose DS's names, his father couldn't be arsed to be involved with that. I named him after a dragon/elephant, my dad, my favourite singer (her surname but is also a first or middle name) and gave him my surname (which I got from my ex-H who is not DS's dad.) All a bit complicated!

‘Pick on’

Come off it, this is a person who talks about her husband’s mum ‘contaminating’ her child!

She should talk about ‘our son’ and later in the thread should talk about ‘our’ house and not ‘my’.

Gives a very strong indication of how she thinks, this Virgin Mary…😂

You are out of order and you know it @TwinklyPoster. I suspect you like getting your own way and your dh knows this. Choosing both names from your side only is pretty shit. You say your father is delighted. I'll bet he is. Its all about your family, isnt it. And all about you.

You chose the names as a 'fuck you' to that side if the family and now are surprised it has caused offense.

Your MIL sounds like an absolute twat. YANBU. I think it’s good that you snapped tbh. She’s only put out as she’s realised she’s overstepped the line.

YANBU We got into trouble because apparently there was a long standing family tradition that you give the first born son their Father's first name as their second name. Noooobody had ever mentioned this during my pregnancy, but it was a big issue after we announced the names we had chosen. We had actually used a second name from their side of the family and my Dad didn't bat an eyelid.

IMO only the people who were at the conception have any rights to a say on the babies name and it's bonkers that anyone else could ever think otherwise.

My paternal grandmother was apparently adamant on what my first name was going to be all through my mum's pregnancy, even though it wasn't a name that either of my parents wanted. In the end my mum registered me in secret and granny held a lifelong grudge that I never got her chosen name.

I lived with my in-laws for the first six weeks after my son was born and they were angels. I couldn't have survived those weeks without them.