To tell my MIL if she wants a son to name she can go have one and not be engrossed on what I choose to name my son.

I am incredibly glad my DIL is nothing like this, you have karma in your future.

Your baby - you choose the name/s
MIl had her babies she chose their names.
end of - sorted.

and she may be shooting herself in the foot as who knows what you may call future children ! ( if you choose to have more )

For all MIL knows you may really like her great grandmother's name on his side, if you were to have a girl,
but I suspect you won't be choosing it now !

and get your partner to speak to her / tell her to cut back on the visits !

Is there an honouring family members through kids tradition in your family? Your brother also wants to honour grandfather through his son. Are you from some royal family?

He has his father’s surname.

Yes any sympathy I had for OP went after I read that comment.

Well, of course it’s your baby and it’s entirely up to you and your DH what you name him. But given both names come from your side of the family, I think it’s understandable MiL was initially a bit miffed to discover this. Did you ever sit down with her and explain why you took this approach? I think that would have been the kind thing to do.

And yes, quite unusual these days to give babies names from your parents / grandparents.

I was never going to name my child whether boy or girl something old fashion (ed)

That's not a typo or poor explanation, it's simply saying the opposite of what you're saying now.

Its the bizarre concept of “fair” which often exists on MN.

Its perfectly commonplace to use family names, equally common place not to. Its also common for one child’s names to come from side A and the next from side B or from neither depending on the names in question.

Its not normal to be barging into the new parents’ home daily to whine about their choices of name.

I'm clearly in the minority but I have some sympathy for your MIL. You're gushing about how thrilled your dad was, what an honour it is etc but seem blind to the fact that the inverse of this is also true. I think it was pretty thoughtless to use another family name from your side for the middle name - I think this is really poor. You're basically saying that your family deserves to be recognised twice, and DH's family doesn't even deserve to be recognised at all.

Normally I would say your child, your choice, but when you choose to use family names you can't be surprised when said family has a view on it, for better or worse.

So they have chosen a family name - which is the same one you chose for a middle name for your son.

Sounds like a sign of things to come, OP, if she feels justified in haranguing you like this just after you have given birth.Just agree on a bland ststement that you and your husband can repeat to shut her down any time she attempts to raise his name.And, more importantly, cherish this precious, fleeting time with your baby and husband and don't indulge any pushy people who feel they "ought" to be able to visit.

My DC have both of our surnames too, largely because I didn’t want to lose my surname when we married so I kept my own and DH kept his, DC then have both- makes sense. We have one DS whose middle name is my Grandad, one whose middle name is DH’s Grandad. Fair and equal I’d say. I can’t imagine anyone in either family being offended by our name choices, your MIL sounds overbearing.

As for the use of an older name, it was quite a fashionable thing to do a few years ago. I distinctly recall names like Agatha, Mabel, Ivy etc making a big comeback when they are of course associated with older ladies. It’s always the case tbh, trends come and go. Some names never make a comeback but many do then some interestingly stick around forever like Thomas, Edward, Ava etc.

In the context of an adult woman demanding to enter their house daily to rant about their choice of names? That is the behaviour which is weird, not stating that its too much.

Add in the seven other grandchildren in whom she shows little interest and historic issues in her treatment of DH vs his siblings - really is that what you want to be dealing with at a point where you are getting no sleep, recovering from birth and dealing with sore nipples?

Anyone visiting a new baby should be mindful that they help rather than make life more difficult.

Only one side of the family was included, which doesn't seem even.
Can people not read?
The baby also has a name from the other side of the family.

And OP had never even mentioned her dh at that point so it was perfectly ok to say my son. Albeit she did refer to him after saying my son but it’s hardly crime of the century.

I don't know - it's all a bit slightly AIBU.

Only one side of the family was included, which doesn't seem even.
Yes you can name your kid what you want but it would probably appear that you got your way even if your husband was involved.
Yes your MIL was probably hurt and spoke about it too many times.
Yes you acted like a five year old in your response.

No one is exactly covered in glory but whether you like it or not, she is the baby's grandmother and your husbands mother so will be involved....

And I can imagine why she’s upset with both names coming from your side
The baby's surname incorporates the other side. The OP's DH didn't want the baby named after his own father.
Honestly, anyone who gets upset about this, let alone goes on and on about it, just doesn't have enough going on in their lives and needs a hobby.

It’s funny to read all the posters bring up in arms because they chose two names from the OP side Incl having both her family name and her dh name.
Yet no one seems to think that the fact her DH thought it was ok is important.

Nope it’s all the OP’s fault, not her dh, who is MIL son after-all. Nope not him. He hasn’t been insulting his own mother with those choices etc…. It is all some sort of revenge from tge OP. Couldn’t be her dh wanting to distance himself from the golden child role he doesn’t want.

Isn’t it your surname too?

But even that aside, you’ve incorporated 3 of your family names v 1 of his, and the bit that’s his is standard practice is most families. Your husband has said he is ok with it but my incredibly nonchalant, laid back husband would have said the same and yet I know he would have felt a little put out. His mum wouldn’t have said anything to me, but she would have to him (and probably to everyone else).

You can name your baby anything you want. You can respond to your MIL however you want. She is out of line to bring it up so often with you. But when you say you already don’t get on, I think avoiding poking the bear in this situation might have been a wiser course of action. Your family are delighted at the inclusion, is it too much for you to realise the opposite reaction might have come from her?

Like you, your MIL is entitled to her feelings. And I can imagine why she’s upset with both names coming from your side (of course your family is thrilled!)

She shouldn’t keep banging on about it of course but I think acknowledging her feelings might help.

congratulations on the new baby!

"Pick up on” were the actual words.

You offered not a word of constructive advice, just jumped in the bash a new mother with the temerity to use the word “my” in the context of new baby.

Is your sibling going to have a son too?

So the kid has 4 names - 3 after your family and from father’s side.

So yes it does feel unbalanced. But from child’s point of view, why would you give a child born in 2026 a name from 1940s? Kids are not born to honor senior family members. There must be other ways to honor them.