To tell my MIL if she wants a son to name she can go have one and not be engrossed on what I choose to name my son.

You and your husband obviously get to choose the name (unless there's cultural reasons you've not mentioned).
But it does seem unfair you've doubly honoured your side and not bothered with his at all-and the fact she knows about this maybe suggests you've gone on about it? As in, if he was just called James Edward (or any names that could belong to any period), she wouldn't have known. And maybe it's a last straw situation, as in you've made her not feel welcome and included? You could add another name as an extra "middle"-they're seldom really used anyway, and it would sort out the situation easily, and try to make her feel welcome, for the sake of your child.
It just seems so sad for your husband, and all of you really, to be arguing at what should be a happy time.

No he is named after Ops dad and grandfather then has both surnames.

This is way too often. I have a newish grandchild, we have visited about once a week. There needs to be a set of rules

1. check before you visit that you will be welcome
2. take something in your hand (cakes/biscuits)
3. Ask if there is anything they need from the shops.
4. Follow their rules about holding baby etc.
5. Ask how you can help and do that and only that
6. Don’t say anything that starts with ‘in my day we’
7. Leave again after a visit, don’t settle in for the day
8. Don’t go back the next day.

We used a first name from DH’s family and middle name from my family for DS. DD1 had a first name and middle name, that go together from DH’s ancestors, and I gave DD2 my two favourite first names. Actually, her first name was a common name in my maternal family.

IMO, it’s only reasonable to give a nod to both families. These things were more important to earlier generations, when it was expected to name children after the parents and grandparents, and use the mother’s maiden name, as a middle name for some of the children.

It does sound very one sided op. You named your child after your dad and grandad. Using both of your surnames does not even that out. It’s your choice though, but I would’ve expected it to raise eyebrows.

Naming babies for family members is a totally common, widespread, normal thing. It doesn't mean people think their baby is a copy of another family member

It's interesting how many posters are critical of the double barrel. Wonder whether either they or MIL would've been critical of the lack of balance if, as is quite common, baby had dad's surname only and other names with no connection to either side. Perhaps that particular lack of balance would be acceptable.

Is there a reason you have chosen family names rather than just choosing a name. This baby is an individual not a copy of another family member

All that means is that your DH has been pretty horrible to his family too. Unless there's a huge drip feed about his family and upbringing being awful (in which case, why would you have them anywhere near your baby?), you've both been really hurtful in your naming choices. Now you're annoyed that your MIL is, well, hurt.

She is allowed her feelings, but it's not OK to come to their house almost daily and give vent to them, especially after having been asked to stop.
We seem to agree on this, so I don't quite know what you're trying to argue with me about.

Your MIL sounds very difficult but then so do you. You are perfectly entitled to name your baby whatever you want but the way you disregard her effort generally to have a close relationship with you is very cold. One day you will possibly be a MIL, let’s hope your DIL doesn’t treat you with the same contempt.

"Honestly", that's how you feel about it. But the MiL feels differently. MiL's seem to be the only people on MN not entitled to any feelings at all.

I agree, banging on about it is annoying and counterproductive.

Obviously, MiL has correctly picked up on the fact that OP loathes her and only wants her own family involved in their lives.

You were a lot nicer to her than me
She got off lightly
Silly cow expecting to be consulted

Inappropriate user name, if that’s the case 🙄

I cannot believe she said “they should have been consulted”.

The nerve!

And this is absolutely great. The baby is their child and they get the final and ONLY say. Hopefully after this, they decide to keep their opinions about themselves.

In one sense its none of her business but I do also see why she's annoyed. You've named the baby after 2 different men from your side and the baby also doesn't even have his surname. If you insist on naming baby after relatives it would of been fairer to pick a name from each side for first and middle name.

Yes Everyone seems to be forgetting the dh wasn’t fussed about any names coming from his family and he agreed with the op in the names.

But hey let’s all blame the op as the women and she’s even being mad to her mil for not using a name the dh didn’t want to use.

Enjoy your baby. Lock the door for a couple of days. Have a hot bath/shower and your fave drink and relax. Let dh cook or pick up a lovely meal. Turn off phones.

My phone tried to auto change pick up a lovely meal to pick up a lovely mil

sorry, don't know how i managed to insert @OneOfYour in there, OP. I wanted to tell @One of Your not to insult the Virgin Mary.