To tell my MIL if she wants a son to name she can go have one and not be engrossed on what I choose to name my son.

MIL is being unreasonable because it’s ultimately not her business BUT I do think giving your child exclusively names from one side of the family is tactless - you could at least have put a non-family name in there to dilute the extent to which baby is your side!

My eldest has a (deceased) grandmother from dad’s side and a great-grandmother from my side; the second has the (living) grandmother from my side and the auntie from dad’s side. Everybody’s happy.

Contaminate? Sorry what?

She's the ridiculous one. My in laws has issues over our choice of surname and we ended up changing it because of their tantrums and I've never forgotten it!

I am quite surprised the MIL knew the provenance of both the baby's names. I suppose the first name was obvious as she must know what the OP's father is called. If he's called something like James Michael, though, I'd have been inclined to just say those are names you like rather than explaining that James is after Grandpa Jim and Michael is after Great-Grandpa Mick. I suppose if he's Archibald Eustace that's a bit harder to get away with.

Sometimes I feel like mothers of boys are l supposed to fuck off into a cave and just send money.. it’s almost like they literally are suppose to give no fucks whatsoever about not mattering at all in anything whilst mothers of daughters have great great grandads honoured and … sorry .. I mean I don’t care about this stuff.. but how can you not see how shit it is

She doesn't get a say. Even if she's disappointed. Even if you used 8 names from your family and none from your husband's. To keep going on about it is ridiculous.

And turning up every day to see you is ridiculous.

But what is more ridiculous is that your husband can't put boundaries in place to protect your time together, and to get his mum to stfu about the name.

I genuinely wish British culture was more straight to the point. We’d certainly have a lot less posts on Mumsnet 😅

It is very odd a parent interfering with a grandchild's name.

Parents get to pick the name. She hasn’t stopped going on for three weeks about it then snapping at her isn’t unsurprising.

what I am perplexed with is her visiting every day…. Do you not say no? I don’t get it, especially if you have nothing more than a cordial relationship with her. I don’t get the competition either or what she is trying to prove

She should keep her views to herself but it's odd that both names are from your side in my opinion, so I can see why she's a bit put out.

We were lucky as my father happened to have the same name as my DH's grandfather so that was an easy choice.

I’m beginning to think I’ve stumbled on some ancient forum from the Tang Dynasty arguing about naming heirs in the Imperial Court. 🫤

I can see both sides. Of course call him what you want, and agree it is none of her business. But I think it's odd that you are happy to acknowlthst your dad is completely thrilled to have the baby named after him, while not acknowledging that she might feel hurt that their side of the family hasn't been included in the same way

Congratulations on your new baby OP.

Well done on standing up for yourself. Don’t answer the door next time she knocks.

Sounds like the problem is more that you need to see her less often. Neither of you have a good relationship with her (and as her other children don't either, I suspect the problem is her not you ...) so there is really no reason to change that and let her come every day just because you've had a baby.

The name is up to you and your DH and as you're obviously both happy about that, you're not unreasonable to tell her to stop going on.

Wow - some of the responses on this thread are mad. Just as bonkers as the "well I chose x as my bridesmaid but she hasn't invited me to be hers - waaaah, it's not fair".

OP, I think you did the right thing saying what you did. Makes a refreshing change from "Oh, I am a pathetic, wet lettuce people pleaser so I just went along with it" or "I was soooo taken aback that I just stood there with my mouth hanging open and didn't say a dicky bird".

You and your DH have chosen names that you both like. It doesn't matter if they are from "your" side of the family or "his" side. Your baby is an individual and has his own names that you both have chosen for him.

None of my GCs have first names that are from either side of the family. That's fine - there are lots of names in the world and they have the names that their parents chose for them. GC4 has two middle names - one is a family name from "our" side and the other is a family name from "the other" side. It so happens that the name from the "other side" was my grandfather's name. He died long before my children were born and I'm not sure they would even know his first name to pick it in the first place. It's just a name. It's not a competition.

It's entirely up to you a d your husband what you call your child . I do hope husband really is as onboard with both names being your family names as you say .IF he isby and is just going along with it or not pushing for a easy life then it may very well lead to resentment from him in future especially IF he feels he has to agree with you to keep the peace alot . Of course your husband might be completely inside as you claim and in that case it's up to him to deal with his parents hurt feelings.

She sounds a delight!

Great answer.
Respect, OP!

I had this 24 years ago... My then mother in law wanted a very old fashioned name, not remotely suited and boy oh boy did my MIL go on and on about it, didn't even use any family names! My sister had the same from our mum as she named her daughter after her mother in law, thought that would be fine because the MIL first name was my mum's middle name, but nope... Then my sister got into trouble again with baby number 2 as she called her son after his paternal grandfather who went actually a blood relative and didn't use either of my dad's names LOL.
She sounds like a little bit of boundary setting might be useful! My MIL picked up my then newborn and crooned 'my baby, my baby' even the midwife told her to put him down and leave!

No not royal family ahaha. My husband did not want our son having his fathers name or his grandfathers name.

So was he always going to be named after a father or GF?

They are unreasonable to be furious or to believe they should be consulted on what someone else’s baby should be called. I absolutely would have snapped too. In fact I said something very similar to my exMIL when she whinged that she didn’t like my daughter’s name. Over and over. Ridiculous behaviour. Hopefully your in-laws will calm the fuck down and shut the fuck up about it now as it’s only them who are losing out if they don’t.

Traditionally the 1st born son took paternal line names

I am 65 and have never heard this before. Maybe this was the case in the aristocracy. It certainly isn't something that's ever happened in either my family or my husband's.

Baffling that anybody else should ever feel she should have been consulted about your baby's name.

I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong, OP.

Even if your child had first, middle and surname all completely and only from your side that isn’t the MIL’s business.

As it is, you have told her so let it go.

If she brings it up again, leave her company.

It’s clear you don’t like her so ensure that your DH is doing the facilitating of time she spends with your DS. Every day is too much so soon as well, get DH to limit her to twice a week or three times. He then has to be around when she visits.

Right now, you are the most vulnerable you will ever be so it’s your DH’s role to ensure you’re safe and comfortable and free of stress.

Healthy and established boundaries now will make the future easier for everyone.