Just walked out on kids

Totally agree but you don’t just storm out, you tell them you are going to clam down and that you’ve had enough. You use words not just slam the door!

I would also say that if a man did that in a relationship I expect everyone would be screaming emotional abuse. They would not be applauding that he had taught her a lesson.

That's an appalling thing to do. I am sure some posters will be along soon to congratulate you for doing it though. 🙄

So many mothers on here that coddle their children. Children can be a pain in the arse, they can be lovely ( when asleep) 99% of the time parents cope, 1% of the time you either want to throttle them, shout "shut the fuck up" or walk out the door and never return but most of that 1% is you saying ENOUGH. We mothers are humans, the children are human(ish) so we all lose it at times unless of course you are a perfect mumsnet mummy and not just the common or garden variety of mum. The holidays are longer than most of our patience so lets just get through it by drinking tea, rolling our eyes and saying for fuck sake under our breath 19 million times a day. Scottish & Northern Irish mums, lucky you as it is all over and you can celebrate, English and Welsh mums, hang on in there in the end is in sight.🍀

Did the kids know you had left? Did they spend however many hours wondering where you were? How long were they left before your dh got home?

Times haven't changed that much, in my country children are expected to be able to look after themselves for a few hours from 9 years old, they are considered too old for after school care at that point. Many take care of themselves from younger too, 7 and 8 years old, if they don't get a space in after school club or if they and their parents feel it's not necessary any more (I remember DS's headteacher explaining that we can cancel our children's places in afterschool care at Christmas if we felt they could manage alone by then - this was to the parents of upcoming 1st graders, 6 and 7 years old)

They are old enough to understand that they pushed her to her limits.

@patiencehasgone

So basically, your kids were getting on your nerves - so you drove off and parked around the corner for half an hour to cool down. And then returned home....

Why title the thread to make people think you have left the family home/walked out on your children/family?

Bit of a click-bait title. Glad everything is OK now, but they are 9 and 12. You're going to have to toughen up. Things are going to get so much worse. The teenage years are on the horizon! 😬

Agree with a few others that it was not good behaviour. You're an adult. You're not 12. You're setting a bad example to your children.

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As a one off it’s understandable but next time (as there surely will be), go to your bedroom. It worked for me.

I did the same to mine years back. Five of them aged between 13 and 8 and the ARGUING! It was what they did when they couldn't think of anything else to do. So I drove to the bottom of our road. Turned the car round and then drove home, so gone about 10 minutes max. Marched in and read the riot act but I'd had time to cool down from the white hot anger so I could be far more strategic about how I dealt with them (basically everyone sent to their rooms to tidy. They didn't tidy at all, of course, but sat alone in their rooms sulking for a bit and came out a lot nicer).

Nobody died and they're all adults now and they don't even remember it. They actually have lovely sunny memories of school summer holidays, playing in the garden with the dogs. The utter buggers.

You've never forgiven her for walking out of the house for a few moments? 😂 Give over, this is irony surely?

I am another one who is absolutely finished with the bickering. I looked at these resources and they seemed unrealistic for us, but I accept there may be other less feral children out there for whom they will be helpful. My children just do not respond in any of the ways in the examples.

Good luck to all.

@EvangelicalAboutButteredToast

i know right?! A mother should NOT be consuming alcohol. Pretty disgraceful and disappointing behaviour.

What you did would be classed as emotional abuse. Why are you expecting your children to understand your feelings when you are the adult and you should be trying to understand their feelings?

I didn’t actually ‘get pissed’ - a couple of glasses are all I ever have.

And my kids certainly didn’t go ‘feral’ - they were somewhat subdued and had learned that pissing me off to that extent was not to be repeated!

I think it’s better to have half an hour to yourself in your car, to take a breather and regulate than losing your shit with your kids. The summer holidays are hard, so please be kind to yourself!!

Plus I’m guessing you all laugh about it now 🙄🙈🤦🏼‍♀️

@Nousernameideaaga

your mother should thank her lucky stars that you are still in contact with her!

hugs for you 💐

I think we’re starting to see why there’s so many people saying it’s fine 🙈. You drove for two hours, got pissed and then drove back in the morning? Good lord. Guys do you think we’re uncovering what so many kids are acting like they haven’t been parented? We have an epidemic of feral kids currently and this thread just might explain it!

Are you a parent yourself now?

This seems very extreme and quite bizarre unless there was other abuse involved.

I think this is an action you have to be extremely careful about. I know when my mother did something similar it changed my world view and I no longer viewed her as someone safe and reliable in my life, she became someone I had to please at all costs, it hugely impacted me. If I ever did that to my child I know they would be absolutely distraught and would think I'd abandoned them forever. We are both neurodiverse, that may be relevant. Unless you know for certain how your children will react I would suggest best not to use that tactic. Remove yourself from the situation by all means, but don't walk out of the house saying you are done. I struggle with my own reactions when my child pushes me, I do get it, but be careful.

Which is an individual anecdote based on your level of maturity. I was working part time from eight years of age but kids aren’t allowed to work now. Times change and laws/rules change.

That’s a bit dramatic.

I did this to my kids once, they were very apologetic when I came back and we laugh about it now.

My brother and I fought like cat and dog. Later he used to scoff at my career as just another hopeless mistake. But our love for each other lasted till the day he died, tragically too young. I was with him when it happened. Cancer. Terrible.