To be annoyed at DH’s comments to DD’s BF?

You really need to be a bit more assertive.
you’re allowing a boy to be bullied in your company and NOT saying anything. That’s appalling!
How would you feel if your daughter was bullied by the boy’s mother?
Stop being so mamby pamby.
Your daughter’s bf might be having second thoughts and that’s why she’s upset.
Your husband is an ignorant unpleasant pig.

I think that you do need to be much firmer. You know how you would feel if your daughter went away with a family and behaved like that to her. I think that, if your husband then won't, you also need to sit the bf down and explain that you are very pleased he's there and that you are sorry for the dad's rudeness.

I’m confused by that last part. What does him being bisexual have to do with their future?

Bisexual people can be good partners just as much as straight or gay people can be.

At what point did you very sharply and publicly tell your not so “ D” H to shut the fuck up and leave the lad alone….?

You don't need to delete it @ValBiro . Just edit it to include the N 😊

Your husband is a bigot. Have you always known this (if so, one might ask why you married him!) or is it just the idea of your DD having a boyfriend that's setting your DH off and he's finding the most obvious target.

What are you doing to protect your daughter (and her boyfriend) from him, and to call him out on his behaviour? Saying "some men are into theatre" is not pulling him up on his behaviour! You need to call out and name his bigoted, bullying, homophobic behaviour and tell him to stop, in no uncertain terms.

Tbh, leaving the homophobia out of it, the key problem seems to be that you're husband is not a nice man. He's bullying a 17 year old child.

Nip this in the bud now, as otherwise your daughter will just end up spending less time at home. Worst case is a future where your daughter is grown up and you rarely see her because your husband doesn't like her partner.

Why would you take him on holiday with you when your DH hates him? Poor kid.

That isn’t pulling him up on it. Pulling him up on it would be saying, at the time, in front of everyone, that everyone in this room is thinking you’re an asshole, because you’re being one. Is that intentional? While you’re busy judging people and relationships why don’t you take a walk and think about what kind of dad you are and why I should put up with being associated with this incredible rudeness?

I'm petty as fuck so privately to your DH I’d be saying something like, it really bothers you that a man can be openly bi doesn’t it, is that cos you’re jealous you can’t be.

I think you need to tell your DH in no uncertain terms that his behaviour is unacceptable and that he needs to stop it immediately otherwise he risks losing his DD. If I were you, I'd also add that he risks losing me too. I couldn't have respect for a homophobe who hurt our daughter and her bf.

Pulling him up means to tell your DH to stop it, as in knock it off. not to say
plenty of straight men are in theater. that's not pulling him up at all

Ugh. I'd be so ashamed to married to a homophobic, bullying prize prat like that.
I hope his dad is built like king kong & wants a word shortly.

This is awful behaviour. He’s bullying a child . How can you take a child away with you and allow him to be treated so badly. Your DH is a homophobic bully and you need to get that through to him. Id say yabu to only be annoyed. He has no right to treat your dd or her bf like that and you need to really stick up for them. I’d be getting rid personally but he needs a proper scare and wake up call at the very least. What a dick.

This ^
and it’s obvious why she was upset - because her dad is unpleasant twat. It’s not a nice realisation.

Wrong thread?

you can pretty much count on your daughter never showing up to your house for Christmas if you don’t put a stop to this. It’s a teenage romance so this boy is unlikely to last forever, but she is learning not to bring people she cares about around her father.

Your husband is homophobic and rude.

Probably because you said 'couple' this 'couple' that. You are NOT American.

Your DH clearly feels threatened in some way by the boy’s bisexuality and it has possibly awakened feelings that he finds unsettling. A lot of homophobes harbour attraction to men and can’t cope with it and end up compensating by trying to be overtly hetero and intolerant.

I mean he sounds like an absolutely homophobic knobhead.

i also wonder how comfortable he is / was with the guy coming on holiday with you and lounging round all over your daughter.

He does sound like a twat though - how have you not seen it?

I also don’t think long hair = gay - nor is that an issues.
I’d be wondering what the future held for my 16 year old child and her bisexual partner.

Unlikely that in a marriage/partnership that’s bern 17+years there’s been no prior indication of his homophobia.

Your husband is a dinosaur and like the dinosaurs, hopefully he'll become a thing of the past to you. He's shown you his true colours and this is what your life is going to look like whilst you're still with him. For the sake of your sanity, your enjoyment of life and for your daughter, leave him and reclaim your freedom. He'll only get worse; bigots always do. It'll be covert racism next and shackling you to the kitchen sink.

That's a very good point.

I think some men "tolerate" homosexuality's existence but dating their daughters is way too close for comfort, and the truth comes out.

I’d be absolutely livid with my husband if he conducted himself like this and I’d be doing a bit more than having a word. Invite a young person on holiday and when they’re trapped there with you proceed to behave like this? Hector them about their sexuality? Make homophobic comments about their mannerism and appearance? Why are you even questioning if you’re unreasonable to be mad? If my husband had conducted himself like this I wouldnt just be mad, you’d hear me from space.
My husband would have to be making some profuse apologies to daughter and boyfriend and quickly if he expected to remain married but I very much doubt this is the only time you’ve seen such awful attitudes from your husband. What on earth do you see in him? Hideous. His daughter isn’t going to forget or forgive this one and nor should you. Bin.

Thia is totally unacceptable of your DH for many reasons.

You should be pulling your DH up on this in front of the BF and insisting to your DH he apologise to him and your DD.

The BF is a minor in your care and if I was his mother and found out that how he’s been treated, I’d be furious.