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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Co-parenting issue, AIBU?

31 replies

Roo1515 · 19/08/2026 13:06

My ex and I have our two teenage kids 50/50. No maintenance paid. Not particularly amicable.
Ex has a new partner who lives 2 hrs+ away from what is classified as home for the kids. He has decided to split a lot of his time between his house at ‘home’ and new partners 2 hrs+ away, often taking the kids with him on his weekends when able and his half the time when he has them in school holidays etc when they kids agree to go. He still has a house in the home town where kids school etc is.
Ex is now stating that we need to spilt the travel, asking that I travel the 2 hrs+ to pick them up after his time with them to keep it fair.
I am being unreasonable to refuse? If he wishes to take the kids there during his time, he should in my opinion be taking the hit on the travel and the time / cost implications of that?

OP posts:
LauritaEvita · 19/08/2026 13:47

Roo1515 · 19/08/2026 13:06

My ex and I have our two teenage kids 50/50. No maintenance paid. Not particularly amicable.
Ex has a new partner who lives 2 hrs+ away from what is classified as home for the kids. He has decided to split a lot of his time between his house at ‘home’ and new partners 2 hrs+ away, often taking the kids with him on his weekends when able and his half the time when he has them in school holidays etc when they kids agree to go. He still has a house in the home town where kids school etc is.
Ex is now stating that we need to spilt the travel, asking that I travel the 2 hrs+ to pick them up after his time with them to keep it fair.
I am being unreasonable to refuse? If he wishes to take the kids there during his time, he should in my opinion be taking the hit on the travel and the time / cost implications of that?

He’s moved away from his kids so it’s his problem to solve. Tell him to do one.

ThaneOfGlamis · 19/08/2026 13:26

I don't think he understands the word need. You do not need to facilitate him not having to pick up his kids when he moved away. This is a him problem.

Gardenisablooming · 19/08/2026 13:18

He can buy travel tickets for the dc if old enough.. his new life isn't yours to facilitate..

Myfridgeiscool · 19/08/2026 13:17

You’ve got an arrangement and he’s decided to make it harder for himself.
He needs to suck up the extra travel.

grumpygrape · 19/08/2026 13:10

Do you have a CAO? If so check it.

If he moves the goalposts he needs to suck up the extra travel.

Teenage is a wide range, what do they feel?

Plati · 19/08/2026 13:09

This is entirely his problem. What a cock.