Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to suggest poor public behaviour should affect access to services?

106 replies

Liggety · 19/08/2026 11:01

Following many recent threads about what is and is not permissible in a decent society, can we agree on a list of actions that should exclude you from accessing state services?

To start with:

Using a phone on loudspeaker anywhere outwith your own home.
Wearing PJs outwith your own home.
Playing music - inside or outside - so loudly it can be heard by neighbours.
Cycling on the pavements (cycling is my main mode of transport btw).
Wearing balaclavas outwith the high mountains.
Riding an illegal e-scooter or e-bike.
Having an off-lead dog in public that is not under your full control.
Dropping litter.
Wearing scrunch bum leggings and other revolting clothing in public.
Swearing in public.
Driving without using your indicators.
Men without a top on in public.
Working cash in hand, or paying cash in hand for work done while knowing or suspecting tax may not be accounted for by the service provider.

Some of the above are more tongue in cheek than others by all indicate no grace, style or manners and we need to remove them from our culture.

What are you adding to the list?

OP posts:
Liggety · 19/08/2026 13:33

Boreded · 19/08/2026 13:09

The list includes people wearing PJs and leggings, you know that is not antisocial or illegal, it is simple the OP picking at something that is more often done by people in lower classes. I didn’t make it classist, the OP did.

You know this as well as I do and yet you bothered to respond to me - odd

I find people wearing PJs in public antisocial. It’s not nice to see. It’s not hard to get dressed in the morning. 20 years ago someone might report it to social services as a cause for concern about someone’s mental health, and now we’re expected to accept it as something that happens because people are lazy. It’s grim.

OP posts:
Blurberrydays · 19/08/2026 13:31

PurplebudsWhitebuds · 19/08/2026 11:19

OP I was reading through your list and saying " oh I agree" , oh I agree!

The thing that I would add is people sitting in their vehicles with their engines running unnecessarily. And often playing loud music at the same time.
I get this a lot outside my house from my neighbours relatives and visitors. So bad for the environment and the noise is just so irritating.

Edited

God yeah I get this too AND the sitting in your car whilst on the phone with it blaring out of the car speakers so loud that I can heard the other person breathing down the phone from my bedroom!

BindweedIsMyNemesis · 19/08/2026 13:26

I'm with you!

I'll add:

People who don't pick up their dog poo
People who move to the country, but then complain about the reality of the country (mud on the road, tractors working at night during harvest, the smell of muck spreading etc)
Giving young children phones/screens to shut them up (yes, I do judge you)
People having a pint at the crack of dawn just because they are in the airport
People who leave the engine running AND the car doors open (!) in the school carpark - yes, this happens on a daily basis
Communicating via long voice notes (an abuse of my time)

PurplebudsWhitebuds · 19/08/2026 13:25

Boreded · 19/08/2026 13:09

The list includes people wearing PJs and leggings, you know that is not antisocial or illegal, it is simple the OP picking at something that is more often done by people in lower classes. I didn’t make it classist, the OP did.

You know this as well as I do and yet you bothered to respond to me - odd

I'm quite aware some of the things on the list are not illegal! - Op said some of the ones included in the list were tongue in cheek.

I responded to you because you were implying by your post that anyone who objects to behaviours on the list regards themselve as superior . I don't think expecting people not to drop litter, not park on pavements etc etc is anything to do with feeling superior. Or class.

Boreded · 19/08/2026 13:09

PurplebudsWhitebuds · 19/08/2026 11:34

Can we add…Making lists to determine who is too lower class to mix with you in public.

What do you actually mean by too lower class? This shouldn't be a class issue.

Do you really think it's ok to behave in an illegal - quite a few things on OP's list are already covered by legislation even if it's poorly enforced - or antisocial way and that anyone who actually is not OK with this is the problem?

Edited

The list includes people wearing PJs and leggings, you know that is not antisocial or illegal, it is simple the OP picking at something that is more often done by people in lower classes. I didn’t make it classist, the OP did.

You know this as well as I do and yet you bothered to respond to me - odd

Dollymylove · 19/08/2026 12:13

This is how society once was, when people were brought up to respect themselves and those around them. Teachers had the authority to discipline unruly children, parents could properly discipline their children. Single parenthood was quite rare. Church attendance was much higher. We had an effective police force, rather than rainbow painted cars and taking the knee to some foreign druggie nobody had ever heard of. Far less of a drugs problem.
Proper punishment for crime.
And best of all.........NO SOCIAL MEDIA 😆

Liggety · 19/08/2026 11:54

Yes apologies. You can have style, grace, dignity and manners no matter what your class is.

OP posts:
PurplebudsWhitebuds · 19/08/2026 11:51

Liggety · 19/08/2026 11:39

Why do you associate ‘lower class’ people with wearing PJs in public? Do you think ‘lower class’ people are incapable of dressing themselves? Because I can assure you that you are wrong. Being ‘lower class’ is no excuse for acting without any iota of style or grace and getting dressed!

I don't know why you are having a go at me OP. I agree with you.
I was questioning the poster who seemed to think behaving in anti social selfish way was a sign of being Lower class.
My point was class has nothing to do with it.

Liggety · 19/08/2026 11:50

Indianajet · 19/08/2026 11:47

You may have some valid points, but you are obviously extremely intolerant of anyone who doesn't fit into your very narrow interpretation of acceptable behaviour.

Yes you could say I’m intolerant, but why should we tolerate the viewing of someone’s PJs. It’s disgusting. Just buy comfortable clothes and dress yourselves in them. Why should we tolerate someone’s music from the garden next door? It’s so ill mannered. Why should we tolerate walking into the road with a buggy because someone was too lazy to find a proper parking space and so used the pavement? It’s making my child’s like more dangerous.

OP posts:
SecretLocker · 19/08/2026 11:49

Hahabonk · 19/08/2026 11:11

Saying ‘outwith’

Wow so clever 👏

Catza · 19/08/2026 11:48

PurplebudsWhitebuds · 19/08/2026 11:34

Can we add…Making lists to determine who is too lower class to mix with you in public.

What do you actually mean by too lower class? This shouldn't be a class issue.

Do you really think it's ok to behave in an illegal - quite a few things on OP's list are already covered by legislation even if it's poorly enforced - or antisocial way and that anyone who actually is not OK with this is the problem?

Edited

Unfortunately for the OP, police, courts and prisons are also state services so who's going to deal with offenders on this list if they can't use the services?

Indianajet · 19/08/2026 11:47

You may have some valid points, but you are obviously extremely intolerant of anyone who doesn't fit into your very narrow interpretation of acceptable behaviour.

Stade197 · 19/08/2026 11:46

I agree with most of your points OP and although I think in most places cyclists should be on the road I think there are certain areas they should use the path. I work on a large, long industrial estate with very heavy traffic and nowhere safe to overtake a cyclist and it's infuriating some mornings/evenings travelling at 5mph down these roads when the paths are completely empty, there are also alot of entrances to different businesses along the main road where no one can pull out from because of the constant stream of cars/lorries crawling behind a cyclist

Also I've seen parking on paths mentioned..I do always make sure I've left enough room for buggies/wheelchairs etc because as a mum I know how frustrating that is but the areas I live we have to park partially on the paths otherwise emergency vehicles wouldn't fit down our roads

InterestedDad37 · 19/08/2026 11:45

Liggety · 19/08/2026 11:32

Yup. Agree with the lot.

Snd yes I am Scottish. I had no idea ‘outwith’ was Scottish.

I'm not Scottish, but am considering adopting 'outwith' into my own daily vernacular 🙂

JuliettaCaeser · 19/08/2026 11:44

I quite like “outwith” think it’s more
of a Scottish word.

i agree op. I was born in the wrong era. Remember my grandparents born in the 1910s and their peers always so smartly dressed trilby hats and ties, dresses. I know there were many negatives to that era but the sloppiness now I wince at.

Liggety · 19/08/2026 11:39

PurplebudsWhitebuds · 19/08/2026 11:34

Can we add…Making lists to determine who is too lower class to mix with you in public.

What do you actually mean by too lower class? This shouldn't be a class issue.

Do you really think it's ok to behave in an illegal - quite a few things on OP's list are already covered by legislation even if it's poorly enforced - or antisocial way and that anyone who actually is not OK with this is the problem?

Edited

Why do you associate ‘lower class’ people with wearing PJs in public? Do you think ‘lower class’ people are incapable of dressing themselves? Because I can assure you that you are wrong. Being ‘lower class’ is no excuse for acting without any iota of style or grace and getting dressed!

OP posts:
MaeshoweDragon · 19/08/2026 11:39

What fresh merry hell is the answering your phone in the car and the WHOLE neighbourhood hearing the other end of the conversation. 3 times this week already...

PurplebudsWhitebuds · 19/08/2026 11:34

Boreded · 19/08/2026 11:17

Can we add…Making lists to determine who is too lower class to mix with you in public.

And by the way, I do not put my jeans on to go visit my mum, I am staying in my PJs because I’m comfy thanks.

Can we add…Making lists to determine who is too lower class to mix with you in public.

What do you actually mean by too lower class? This shouldn't be a class issue.

Do you really think it's ok to behave in an illegal - quite a few things on OP's list are already covered by legislation even if it's poorly enforced - or antisocial way and that anyone who actually is not OK with this is the problem?

Liggety · 19/08/2026 11:32

InterestedDad37 · 19/08/2026 11:26

Vinyl shoes with velcro fastenings.
Crocs, unless you're gardening or performing surgery.
Pastel-coloured jumpers.
Mullet haircuts.
Nostril rings - one ring at side of nose is fine, but the ones that are bull-like are horrible.
Scribbly tattoos with no colour.

Yup. Agree with the lot.

Snd yes I am Scottish. I had no idea ‘outwith’ was Scottish.

OP posts:
parkezvous · 19/08/2026 11:31

Saying obviously before every sentence… no it’s not obvious!!!

Liggety · 19/08/2026 11:31

Parking on pavements gives me the rage too. I had to wheel my buggy into the road around a pavement parked car just the other day. The other thing we get around here is roadworks signs obstructing the pavements. The council are upgrading a lot of junctions near us and put the ‘lane closed’ etc signs on the pavement, forcing pedestrians into the road to get around. Why?

I think I am also irrationally annoyed by lots of things, but I just feel like society is slipping down the pan. The blind eye shown by police to little illegalities like bike theft, illegal use of e-bikes, public drug taking and alcoholism. Not dealing with them makes the community feel much less safe.

OP posts:
HoppingPavlova · 19/08/2026 11:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

InterestedDad37 · 19/08/2026 11:26

Vinyl shoes with velcro fastenings.
Crocs, unless you're gardening or performing surgery.
Pastel-coloured jumpers.
Mullet haircuts.
Nostril rings - one ring at side of nose is fine, but the ones that are bull-like are horrible.
Scribbly tattoos with no colour.

AuntieBiotics · 19/08/2026 11:23

Hahabonk · 19/08/2026 11:11

Saying ‘outwith’

Spot the non-Scot.

aliasfrog · 19/08/2026 11:21

I agree except for the scrunch leggings. They're vile but way less antisocial than everything else on the list!!
Mine would be no power tools, lawnmowers, or jet washers on a Sunday.
Actually no jetwashers full stop unless owned by a company.
Fireworks not allowed to be sold to the public, community displays only.
Stop parking your damn cars on the pavements
Oh and stop using disabled bays if you don't have a blue badge
So essentially basic courtesy towards other people.

Oh also people complaining about scottish sayings and words 😅