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Original poster

So angry what is wrong with some parents

465 replies

fumingrightnow1 · 18/08/2026 22:26

My dd14 was supposed to be sleeping at a friend's tonight. They have had an argument and she said let's just leave it and go to sleep her friend told her she had to leave so she's walked home and just come in the door at gone 10pm. I can't believe the mum didn't step in and do anything or let me know and I would've got her. I've said to dd why didn't you call me but she just shrugged and said she was fine walking and didn't want to stand outside waiting for me. Its about a 10 minute walk. I don't let her out on her own at this time of night. As a parent i would have stepped in and can't believe this other mum did nothing.

OP posts:
Iocanepowder · 19/08/2026 15:35

fumingrightnow1 · 19/08/2026 15:13

What do people use now i always use messenger to contact people

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whatsapp.

Quite a lot of my friends no longer have FB.

PurpleThistle7 · 19/08/2026 15:34

fumingrightnow1 · 19/08/2026 15:12

Then i would expect the other parent to deal with it and ask my daughter for my number.

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Huh? How would she do that if your daughter was lying on the floor injured?

I think you genuinely need to decide if your daughter has autonomy as a young woman or is still under an adult's care when not in your home. You can't have it both ways.

Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 15:17

fumingrightnow1 · 19/08/2026 15:12

Then i would expect the other parent to deal with it and ask my daughter for my number.

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How would she ask your daughter to unlock her phone if something serious had happened?

Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 15:16

fumingrightnow1 · 19/08/2026 15:13

They have

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And I suspect the friend has a very different version

Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 15:13

fumingrightnow1 · 19/08/2026 15:12

Then i would expect the other parent to deal with it and ask my daughter for my number.

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But as this latest scenario demonstrates (IF it really did go down as your daughter conveyed) would demonstrate maybe you should have a rethink about this expectation

Original poster
fumingrightnow1 · 19/08/2026 15:13

Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 15:00

I imagine that your DD, the friend and their groups of friends have been snap chatting about this spat last night… all day

They have

OP posts:
Original poster
fumingrightnow1 · 19/08/2026 15:13

likelysuspect · 19/08/2026 15:03

Me too, I was surprised when OP said she would contact her through FB!!!

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What do people use now i always use messenger to contact people

OP posts:
Original poster
fumingrightnow1 · 19/08/2026 15:12

3luckystars · 19/08/2026 15:07

Ok though, what if your daughter’s phone was dead, or she injured herself and the other mum was unable to unlock her phone to call you.

I would insist if my daughter was going somewhere the parent had my number and I could contact them too. I would also confirm the sleepover was happening as at that age they can do anything.

Maybe her 14 year old is allowed to walk home alone and she has no issue with what happened.

Thats why you need to talk to the other parent and make sure your child is safe.

Edited
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Then i would expect the other parent to deal with it and ask my daughter for my number.

OP posts:
3luckystars · 19/08/2026 15:07

fumingrightnow1 · 19/08/2026 14:58

I have the address. I know what school the dd goes to I know where the mum works. I am able to contact my dd through her mobile

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Ok though, what if your daughter’s phone was dead, or she injured herself and the other mum was unable to unlock her phone to call you.

I would insist if my daughter was going somewhere the parent had my number and I could contact them too. I would also confirm the sleepover was happening as at that age they can do anything.

Maybe her 14 year old is allowed to walk home alone and she has no issue with what happened.

Thats why you need to talk to the other parent and make sure your child is safe.

likelysuspect · 19/08/2026 15:03

Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 14:59

If she’s anything like me… she checks her FB messages once in a blue moon ie once a year if that!

Me too, I was surprised when OP said she would contact her through FB!!!

Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 15:00

I imagine that your DD, the friend and their groups of friends have been snap chatting about this spat last night… all day

Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 14:59

If she’s anything like me… she checks her FB messages once in a blue moon ie once a year if that!

Original poster
fumingrightnow1 · 19/08/2026 14:58

AquaLeader · 19/08/2026 14:45

So you allowed your 11 year-old go on sleepovers to another household and you don't even even have the parents details?

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I have the address. I know what school the dd goes to I know where the mum works. I am able to contact my dd through her mobile

OP posts:
PurpleThistle7 · 19/08/2026 14:54

This girl is now 14 so that ship has sailed.

I wouldn't think a 14 year old would have her mother exchange information with the other mother. In any case, the OP didn't action this or suggest it so being annoyed at this other mother for not magicking up the information is a bit unfair. You left your daughter in charge and she did as she thought best. If this doesn't work for you, you need to talk to your daughter about it. .

AquaLeader · 19/08/2026 14:45

fumingrightnow1 · 19/08/2026 13:55

They where not strangers they've been friends since the start of secondary school and had multiple sleepovers at her house and ours

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So you allowed your 11 year-old go on sleepovers to another household and you don't even even have the parents details?

Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 14:43

At 11…. My child staying over at someone’s house very regularly and vice versa. Hell yes I knew their contact details. 11!!

redskyAtNigh · 19/08/2026 14:42

fumingrightnow1 · 19/08/2026 14:31

I thought this was normal for secondary school. Its how it was when i was at secondary and none of her other friends parents ever call me.

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It's normal at 11 to exchange contact details and have some minimum level of conversation/meet each other when you pick up your DC.

If you're not bothering with that you're also signalling a rather more laid back attitude towards parenting. The sort of parent that's quite happy with her daughter sorting her own way home at 10pm.

Forget about what's normal - didn't you want to meet your DD's friends' parents before sending her off for sleepovers? Didn't you want a contact number in case a visiting child got taken ill? Yes, there comes a point in secondary school where you put more of the responsibility on the child but that's generally older than age 11.

Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 14:41

neither girl is calm or quiet.

Do the pair often get on to scraps?

Original poster
fumingrightnow1 · 19/08/2026 14:41

Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 14:40

Will you ever have a friend over again?

Possibly but my dd will not be staying at hers

OP posts:
Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 14:40

Will you ever have a friend over again?

Original poster
fumingrightnow1 · 19/08/2026 14:39

Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 14:32

At 11?

and multiple times staying over at both houses

and a very local?

and besties?

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Their not besties their friends, all her friends are local like I said no friends parent have ever asked for numbers and called since secondary i thought this was normal

OP posts:
Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 14:32

fumingrightnow1 · 19/08/2026 14:31

I thought this was normal for secondary school. Its how it was when i was at secondary and none of her other friends parents ever call me.

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At 11?

and multiple times staying over at both houses

and a very local?

and besties?

Original poster
fumingrightnow1 · 19/08/2026 14:31

Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 14:03

All the more strange that been besties since 11, both been to one another’s homes countless times, live 10 mins walk apart and yet the mum’s have not seemed to have any contact on any level. Ever.

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I thought this was normal for secondary school. Its how it was when i was at secondary and none of her other friends parents ever call me.

OP posts:
Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 14:03

fumingrightnow1 · 19/08/2026 13:59

Yeah loads of time

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All the more strange that been besties since 11, both been to one another’s homes countless times, live 10 mins walk apart and yet the mum’s have not seemed to have any contact on any level. Ever.

Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 14:01

I wouldn’t be surprised if the mother and friend have a very different version of what occurred last night