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Original poster

So angry what is wrong with some parents

465 replies

fumingrightnow1 · 18/08/2026 22:26

My dd14 was supposed to be sleeping at a friend's tonight. They have had an argument and she said let's just leave it and go to sleep her friend told her she had to leave so she's walked home and just come in the door at gone 10pm. I can't believe the mum didn't step in and do anything or let me know and I would've got her. I've said to dd why didn't you call me but she just shrugged and said she was fine walking and didn't want to stand outside waiting for me. Its about a 10 minute walk. I don't let her out on her own at this time of night. As a parent i would have stepped in and can't believe this other mum did nothing.

OP posts:
Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 16:23

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Boomer55 · 19/08/2026 16:23

A 10 minute walk home, for a 14 year old, in these lighter evenings, isn’t really an issue. Your daughter could have phoned you, but didn’t.

Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 16:22

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Monty36 · 19/08/2026 16:22

I think if a child is staying over at your house into the evening, then you have a responsibility to make sure they get home safely.

Original poster
fumingrightnow1 · 19/08/2026 16:21

Iocanepowder · 19/08/2026 15:35

whatsapp.

Quite a lot of my friends no longer have FB.

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Don't you need the persons number for that

OP posts:
Original poster
fumingrightnow1 · 19/08/2026 16:21

Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 15:17

How would she ask your daughter to unlock her phone if something serious had happened?

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If something really serious had happened id expect the mum to call my dd an ambulance perform first aid and then drive round to tell me why my dd is on way to hospital

OP posts:
redskyAtNigh · 19/08/2026 16:19

Timeforachange26 · 19/08/2026 16:14

DD went to school 10 miles away. Her friends were all in different directions. . So no we didn't lift share . Tended to only be in rare occasions like birthdays etc any of that sort of stuff . I certainly couldn't afford it on a regular basis.

And majority of the girls got buses or train to school from 11

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Then you pick your DC up from the central location that she and all her friends have travelled to separately, and meet their parents when they are doing likewise?

redskyAtNigh · 19/08/2026 16:18

Timeforachange26 · 19/08/2026 16:16

What's not a safe enough area?

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apparently the one OP lives in

Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 16:18

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Timeforachange26 · 19/08/2026 16:16

redskyAtNigh · 19/08/2026 16:11

From their house if they've gone over after school/weekend/sleepover? Since we've established this isn't a safe enough area for anyone to walk home on their own.

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What's not a safe enough area?

Timeforachange26 · 19/08/2026 16:14

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DD went to school 10 miles away. Her friends were all in different directions. . So no we didn't lift share . Tended to only be in rare occasions like birthdays etc any of that sort of stuff . I certainly couldn't afford it on a regular basis.

And majority of the girls got buses or train to school from 11

LaughingCat · 19/08/2026 16:12

Another one a bit bemused that you’re upset with the other mum when you have never bothered to get the mum’s number yourself. If something happened to your daughter, the mum wouldn’t be able to get into the phone, or find out how to from your daughter. Recipe for disaster. My DH had his first seizure when he was 14 - in that situation, how on earth would the parent be expected to get hold of you?

And if you can’t be bothered to get the parent’s number, they might have assumed that she has a level of freedom you obviously don’t afford her, in reality. In this circumstance, I’d be kicking myself more than blaming a woman who may not have known she’d even left the house.

redskyAtNigh · 19/08/2026 16:11

Timeforachange26 · 19/08/2026 15:54

Pick up DC from where?

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From their house if they've gone over after school/weekend/sleepover? Since we've established this isn't a safe enough area for anyone to walk home on their own.

saveforthat · 19/08/2026 16:10

She is 14 not 4, I think you are overreacting.

Conniebygaslight · 19/08/2026 16:10

fumingrightnow1 · 18/08/2026 22:37

I don't know her well. I've seen her a couple of times. I'm going to see if i can find her on Facebook and message her

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Why are you letting your 14 year old stay at someone’s house who you haven’t checked with and have their details?

PurpleThistle7 · 19/08/2026 16:08

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I almost never have my daughter's friends in my car - they make their own way around town on the bus or by walking. So it can vary wildly.

My daughter isn't particularly social (autistic) so I am sure is slower to launch than many other teens, but the majority of my friends with teenagers wouldn't know all their kids' friends - and certainly not their parents!

Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 16:07

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Minasama · 19/08/2026 16:04

The mum may not have realised she has gone?

Thistimearound · 19/08/2026 16:03

Indenialagain · 19/08/2026 15:44

She’s probably wondering why you are blaming her for your DD disobeying your rule about not walking home alone at that time of night. At 14 your DD is responsible for the situation she put herself in.

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Or very likely she hasn’t even received the message and will get it and wonder what it was all about when she next logs in to Facebook in 2028…!

Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 16:03

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VestibuleWeaver · 19/08/2026 16:01

Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 13:52

You think there was less rapes and knife crime before CCTV footage and doorbell cams than now? @VestibuleWeaver

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I think it’s likely, yes.

Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 15:59

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Timeforachange26 · 19/08/2026 15:54

redskyAtNigh · 19/08/2026 14:42

It's normal at 11 to exchange contact details and have some minimum level of conversation/meet each other when you pick up your DC.

If you're not bothering with that you're also signalling a rather more laid back attitude towards parenting. The sort of parent that's quite happy with her daughter sorting her own way home at 10pm.

Forget about what's normal - didn't you want to meet your DD's friends' parents before sending her off for sleepovers? Didn't you want a contact number in case a visiting child got taken ill? Yes, there comes a point in secondary school where you put more of the responsibility on the child but that's generally older than age 11.

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Pick up DC from where?

Coldcabbage · 19/08/2026 15:45

PurpleThistle7 · 19/08/2026 15:34

Huh? How would she do that if your daughter was lying on the floor injured?

I think you genuinely need to decide if your daughter has autonomy as a young woman or is still under an adult's care when not in your home. You can't have it both ways.

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And OP’s daughter has demonstrated that she doesn’t follow simple rules set by her mum

Indenialagain · 19/08/2026 15:44

fumingrightnow1 · 19/08/2026 13:51

No nothing

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She’s probably wondering why you are blaming her for your DD disobeying your rule about not walking home alone at that time of night. At 14 your DD is responsible for the situation she put herself in.

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