Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So angry what is wrong with some parents

465 replies

fumingrightnow1 · 18/08/2026 22:26

My dd14 was supposed to be sleeping at a friend's tonight. They have had an argument and she said let's just leave it and go to sleep her friend told her she had to leave so she's walked home and just come in the door at gone 10pm. I can't believe the mum didn't step in and do anything or let me know and I would've got her. I've said to dd why didn't you call me but she just shrugged and said she was fine walking and didn't want to stand outside waiting for me. Its about a 10 minute walk. I don't let her out on her own at this time of night. As a parent i would have stepped in and can't believe this other mum did nothing.

OP posts:
watermybegonias · 19/08/2026 19:06

fumingrightnow1 · 19/08/2026 18:57

No as she has read and not replied to message

Show quote history

I cannot believe that you continue to post about it all on here AND DON’T go round to talk to her!

I actually don’t think you want to speak to her because you might not like what she has to say. You’d rather play the injured party on here.

If you were that concerned about your daughter’s welfare after last night’s events, you would have been round there this morning, taking all your children with you if needs be.

Instead, it’s just moaning on here.

likelysuspect · 19/08/2026 19:04

Does your daughter walk home from friends at 4pm in winter OP when its dark?

Original poster
fumingrightnow1 · 19/08/2026 18:57

watermybegonias · 19/08/2026 18:55

Never mind the who would allow their child to walk home in the dark/not have a direct number to the parents/anything else - have you actually spoken to the mother yet and ascertained exactly what happened?

No as she has read and not replied to message

OP posts:
Timeforachange26 · 19/08/2026 18:55

Volpini · 19/08/2026 18:36

Dunno. I’ll work that out with my 16yo when it feels right for her, rather than justifying myself to people on the internet.

Show quote history

Fair enough. Good luck if her views are different from yours.

watermybegonias · 19/08/2026 18:55

Never mind the who would allow their child to walk home in the dark/not have a direct number to the parents/anything else - have you actually spoken to the mother yet and ascertained exactly what happened?

Original poster
fumingrightnow1 · 19/08/2026 18:49

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/08/2026 18:30

As others said I find it very strange you dont have mums number or have offered yours when her child stayed at yours lots

equally your dd should have let you know what was happening as if not home 10.15 you wouldnt have known she was missing and possibly abducted /raped etc till later the next day

I also blame the mum for not contacting you via her dd tho obv not talking or taking dd home to you at that hour

10 is late to walk home alone. It’s dark. She would have been emotional etc and not noticed if someone suddenly grabbed her

hopefully this will blow over. Teens argue all the time if usually good /best/sleepover friends

what did they argue about ? Boys ?

Stupid teenage crap about someone my dd is friends with and spends time with who other girl doesn't like and it just escalated. They've fallen out at my house before but ive de esculated it and not a chance in hell would i let my dd kick out a friend at 10pm.

OP posts:
Isittimeformynapyet · 19/08/2026 18:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I've read the thread, but I didn't clock that we were still on about when they started having sleepovers. Thank you

Thistimearound · 19/08/2026 18:43

Isittimeformynapyet · 19/08/2026 18:41

Which 11 year old?

How has an 11 year old muscled its way into a thread that's all about a 14 year old?

Show quote history

Because the DD has been sleeping over there since she was 11 according to the OP without contact details for the parents.

2O26 · 19/08/2026 18:43

DraigCymraeg · 19/08/2026 18:40

In the UK? Where assaults are increasing by the day. Even elderly men being raped in the streets. In broad daylight too.

Show quote history

Alas, it is a tradeoff. Car accidents kill and injure a lot more people than attacks by strangers. Buses are actually the safest way to get around.

Yestoactive · 19/08/2026 18:43

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Rosetime · 19/08/2026 18:42

Volpini · 19/08/2026 17:53

The comments on here.
My eldest child is 16 and I wouldn’t expect her to be walking around on her own at 10pm. I did, but I did all sorts of fool stuff…

This.

Same here.

Isittimeformynapyet · 19/08/2026 18:41

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Which 11 year old?

How has an 11 year old muscled its way into a thread that's all about a 14 year old?

2O26 · 19/08/2026 18:40

redskyAtNigh · 19/08/2026 18:15

how is it safer for you to walk home from DD's house than for DD to walk there in the first place?

Getting the phone number from DD assumes that DD wanted to give it. Which I suspect she didn't in the circumstances.

Show quote history

All three could walk together and then mother and DD could walk home together.

DraigCymraeg · 19/08/2026 18:40

Teenagerantruns · 18/08/2026 22:29

I mean l would assume the mum didn't know she had left..but a 10min walk is fine surley for a 14 year old.

In the UK? Where assaults are increasing by the day. Even elderly men being raped in the streets. In broad daylight too.

Isittimeformynapyet · 19/08/2026 18:36

Timeforachange26 · 19/08/2026 17:46

So you would expect random people to text or phone you?

Do you generally give your number out to all and subdry

When I was a kid there was none of this parents being in touch with each other. Of my two best friends at school Ms mum and my dad never spoke and D's dad only spoke to mine to try and convert his to Christianity ( he was an evangelist)

Edited
Show quote history

Maybe look up the word random?

As soon as your child spends time at the house of another their parents become un-random.

Volpini · 19/08/2026 18:36

Timeforachange26 · 19/08/2026 18:33

So what is it then that YOU would feel ok about it?

Show quote history

Dunno. I’ll work that out with my 16yo when it feels right for her, rather than justifying myself to people on the internet.

Timeforachange26 · 19/08/2026 18:33

Volpini · 19/08/2026 18:21

You do you, whatever. It’s not 14 that’s for sure.

Show quote history

So what is it then that YOU would feel ok about it?

Makebelieveanotherlife · 19/08/2026 18:32

I’m with you op. If something had happened then the first person who would be looked at is who the adult in charge was. Your dd was meant to be in her care.

otoh I think where you went wrong is not knowing the home environment, contact number and the parent WELL.

perhaps in the mothers mind her not contacting you goes well in hand at how irresponsible this whole arrangement was in the first place.

you can argue that this is how 14yo do things BUT had something gone wrong, everyone will be saying she was ONLY 14yo.

I think you’re both wrong here.

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/08/2026 18:30

As others said I find it very strange you dont have mums number or have offered yours when her child stayed at yours lots

equally your dd should have let you know what was happening as if not home 10.15 you wouldnt have known she was missing and possibly abducted /raped etc till later the next day

I also blame the mum for not contacting you via her dd tho obv not talking or taking dd home to you at that hour

10 is late to walk home alone. It’s dark. She would have been emotional etc and not noticed if someone suddenly grabbed her

hopefully this will blow over. Teens argue all the time if usually good /best/sleepover friends

what did they argue about ? Boys ?

Hildegard25 · 19/08/2026 18:28

fumingrightnow1 · 18/08/2026 22:32

The mum apparently walked in bedroom when friend was shouting at dd to get out and dd was crying and just shouted whats going on and when friend said she wanted dd to leave mum just tutted huffed and walked out. So I assume she heard it all neither girl is calm or quiet.

And that is your daughter's version of events after seeing you upset and angry when she arrived home alone after 10.00pm.

I bet that there definitely would be another version available.

Yestoactive · 19/08/2026 18:27

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Volpini · 19/08/2026 18:21

Timeforachange26 · 19/08/2026 17:58

What age is old enough then? All of my kids had jobs at 16 often finished at 10. They had to walk to bus stop at least. I was working full time, doing a levels in evening classes and had my own place at 17 Should I not have gone home by myself of an evening

Show quote history

You do you, whatever. It’s not 14 that’s for sure.

Pupilportal · 19/08/2026 18:19

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Wildefish · 19/08/2026 18:18

Teenagerantruns · 18/08/2026 22:29

I mean l would assume the mum didn't know she had left..but a 10min walk is fine surley for a 14 year old.

At 10pm at night on her own, I’m not so sure.

Pupilportal · 19/08/2026 18:17

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.