So angry what is wrong with some parents

This site it littered with posts about men raping women, how we're not safe etc and @fumingrightnow1 is getting light heat for saying her DD 14yo should not have walked home on her own at 10pm. Seriously?

I'm with you OP. She should have called you or her DFs m should have (assuming she knew).

3 Lucky Stars is right, OP. You could have been fooled in just this way. Each girl would tell her DM she was staying at the other girl's house and then off they go to an all night party and no-one knows where they are. You should have had the other girl's mother's phone number and she had yours. You are lucky it was only a row and your DD got home safely. You have been playing fire! Much too laid back.

I had never thought about it until now, but maybe teens parents do still need to communicate - if other mum saw no problem with DD walking home at 10pm, I'd imagine she'd have no problem with them walking together to Tesco or whatever at that time either. Some parents will, some parents won't, but are we just trusting teens to tell their friends "I'm not allowed"? Especially if there's a group.

I've already said this. It's not if neither the mother of the friend or OP know that OP's DD is walking home alone at 10pm. That she has gone missing might not have been realised until the morning! Mother of DD's friend needs to apologise and keep a better eye on her DD's guests and what is going, surely?

This!!!

Context is so important for what many would consider safe or not. We live in a small village, I am comfortable that my DD11 is safe walking back from an activity at 10pm once a week. Its a 2-3 min walk and I know what time it finishes and when she'll be home, and it means we don't need to get her toddler out at that time if one of us is working late.

However, if I lived in London, absolutely no chance. And the biggest red flag, OP didn't know her daughter was out. As she's said many times, if anything had happened, no-one would have known for 12-18 hours or so, as there was no information passed about her being out.

So it was irresponsible of the parent at the sleepover, she was in charge of the kids. The walk itself isn't necessarily a problem, not OPs preference and we don't know where it was for how safe it may be (or not). But the lack of communication meant that OP didn't know she was on her way, and the other parent didn't know that she had arrived home safely.

Parental preferences aside, it is important to take responsibility when we are caring for each others kids at playdates, sleepovers etc and if we aren't prepared to, don't have the kids over!

I think I’d be pretty mad with the other mum, and also livid with my dd. Walking back at 10pm in the dark is not ok for a 14 year old girl. Yes, unlikely anything would happen but if it did no one would know until prob gone 10am the next day!!

I do think you should be a bit annoyed at your dd and yourself instead of taking out all the anger on the other parent . I would not let someone else’s 14 year old walk home at ten o clock at night no way. But other parents have other rules , clearly and your communication has been poor with the other parent as well.

I feel you’ve got a lot of negativity on here about her walking home but I can say I have a 15 son and we would absolutely pick him up and not expect him to walk home at 10. We live in Greater London and wouldn’t feel safe letting him walk home alone. Will be the same when our daughter is a similar age.

i also wouldn’t let a child who was meant to staying at my house leave alone and not contact the parent. I only have contact details for his friends parents due to party WhatsApp groups. That mum is in the wrong and probably hasn’t replied as she knows it

Unless you're in The Bronx I wouldn't bat an eyelid at my teen walking for 10 minutes at 10 pm.

Yeah, this. I think 14 is fine to be walking 10 minutes at 10pm.

OP doesn’t need to speak to her. Her child is home and won’t be staying at that house again.

To actually speak to her as she isn’t answering her message?

What on earth would be achieved by her going to round? Quite mad.

Jeez OP. WTF is wrong with some of these posters. I can’t imagine letting my dd walk home at 10pm alone. I can’t imagine having a child at my house and not being completely responsible for their care and safety. In loco parentis! The mother had parental responsibility for your child whilst you were not there. She should have taken steps to calm the argument and make sure your DD was safely returned to you. You have every right to be angry. Yes, your daughter should have called you, but she’s 14 and 14 year olds aren’t exactly known for their ability to make sensible decisions, especially in emotionally charged situations. The adult is absolutely responsible. Talking to your dd without punishment is absolutely the right thing to do .
some posters on here are nuts or just goody and being contrary for the hell of it.

Yeah but sbe still walked out before your dc left. So i would noy assume she knows that she actually left.
Whst did they fall out about?

DD is 14, was only 10m away and didn’t want to “hang around” to wait for you.

I would expect her to have at least messaged she’s on her way home.

That’s a lot of what ifs. No wonder we have an anxiety epidemic. What nonsense.

Your thread title is ‘So angry - what is wrong with some parents?’

The rest of the thread is about quibbling over every rule or choice of parenting and justifying YOURSELF. So, no, not angry about the other mum at all.

You know if you actually went round and spoke to her it wouldn’t go well for you, so you haven’t bothered.

Perhaps your thread title is apt after all - but the parent referred to is you.

She couldn’t of done that if your daughter had of already left though

I think it’s mad that the other mum didn’t do anything unless your DD wouldn’t give her your number? Anyway it’s done now she won’t be sleeping over at that house again and hopefully she’s learnt her lesson and will always phone you in the future. I’d have been really annoyed too tbh.

Whilst your DD was in her care she had the responsibility to make sure that she was safe, including getting home safe. She was the adult in the situation and thus should have had good enough judgement not to let your DD walk home alone at that time.

Yes, your DD should have texted you to get her. However, she is 14, had an argument, very emotional and her head probably all over the place since she was in tears. She had a lapse in judgement and while she should have contacted you, I don't think she should be punished and held primarily responsible for this. A conversation about the importance of prioritising her own safety always, rather than her being told off.

The other mum is 100% to blame here. In no reality would I let someone else's teenage daughter walk home alone at 10pm for any amount of time, regardless of what has happened or what anybody else thinks.