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AIBU?

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Original poster

So angry what is wrong with some parents

465 replies

fumingrightnow1 · 18/08/2026 22:26

My dd14 was supposed to be sleeping at a friend's tonight. They have had an argument and she said let's just leave it and go to sleep her friend told her she had to leave so she's walked home and just come in the door at gone 10pm. I can't believe the mum didn't step in and do anything or let me know and I would've got her. I've said to dd why didn't you call me but she just shrugged and said she was fine walking and didn't want to stand outside waiting for me. Its about a 10 minute walk. I don't let her out on her own at this time of night. As a parent i would have stepped in and can't believe this other mum did nothing.

OP posts:
JLou08 · 18/08/2026 23:35

I'd think nothing of a 14 year old walking 10 minutes at 10pm. My DD at that age gets a bus then has a 20 minute walk alone at that time when she's been to see friends.

Icecreamisthebest · 18/08/2026 23:33

I'd also be focusing on what your DD did. It sounds like the other mum did not have your contact details. And may have had other children in the home that she was responsible for. DD may have left too quickly for other mum to stop her and organise a proper lift home.

So I'd give her some grace and focus on giving your DD the skills of how to deal with a really uncomfortable situation like this. She could have called you then waited outside the house until you arrived or made arrangements. Does she know that you have no issue with her calling a taxi and you will pay for it if she is ever in a tight spot like this again?

TheOnlyWayIsIlford · 18/08/2026 23:27

A 10 min walk home by a 14 yo wouldn't worry me, normal amongst our Dc, but on the other hand if I had a a 14 yo for a sleepover I would assume in loco parentis until they got safely home so would have walked with her or given a lift, if I knew.

AndTheSnakesStartToSing · 18/08/2026 23:14

Definitely yanbu especially if the mum knew she had gone, which it seems likely she might have. She at the very least knew there had been an argument and it doesn’t seem like she dealt with the argument very well If your dd’s account is accurate. If my dc was shouting for their friend to leave I wouldn’t just leave the room I’d try to calm things down and failing that get friend to call parents or take them home myself, they wouldn’t be leaving my house at that time of night alone. I’m generally very hands off when my teenage dc have friends over but I’m always on stand by if something happens.

Original poster
fumingrightnow1 · 18/08/2026 23:14

troothfairy · 18/08/2026 23:07

I imagine your daughter just wanted to get out of the house asap, has her friend checked she got home ok?

Nope. Hopefully this is the end of this friendship.

OP posts:
troothfairy · 18/08/2026 23:07

I imagine your daughter just wanted to get out of the house asap, has her friend checked she got home ok?

Original poster
fumingrightnow1 · 18/08/2026 23:01

IcePrincesss · 18/08/2026 22:58

Was your daughter scared and upset about walking home?

Or is she more upset about the fallout?

About the argument.

OP posts:
Original poster
fumingrightnow1 · 18/08/2026 23:01

arethereanyleftatall · 18/08/2026 22:54

You still don’t actually know if the mum knows your dd left though?

Ive messaged her so until she replies I won't know. But I'd be very suprised if she didn't hear someone storming out the house after hearing the argument. They don't live in a mansion its a 3 bed semi.

OP posts:
thisismeithinkorisit · 18/08/2026 23:00

arethereanyleftatall · 18/08/2026 22:54

You still don’t actually know if the mum knows your dd left though?

so you have two teens crying / shouting, your daughter wants the crying one to leave. you would then be oblivious to the room going quie, someone walking through your house and the front door going?

IcePrincesss · 18/08/2026 22:58

Was your daughter scared and upset about walking home?

Or is she more upset about the fallout?

MyArtfulGreySloth · 18/08/2026 22:58

Some absolute wanker replies here. Seriously this place.

arethereanyleftatall · 18/08/2026 22:54

You still don’t actually know if the mum knows your dd left though?

Original poster
fumingrightnow1 · 18/08/2026 22:48

Clairey1986 · 18/08/2026 22:46

You don’t have her number? Your child was sleeping there?

If you don’t have her number, she probably doesn’t have yours, how was she supposed to contact you?

Show quote history

She could of got it from my dd

OP posts:
Original poster
fumingrightnow1 · 18/08/2026 22:47

5foot5 · 18/08/2026 22:43

Sure your DD did a silly thing but was probably upset. Like you I am shocked that the Mum let her leave on her own.

In her position I would have first tried to calm things down between the girls. If they really weren't going to make up though my next suggestion would be to make up a spare bed in another room for your DD. If your DD was still adamant she wanted to go I would have either called you (preferable) or run her home myself.

When DD was a teenager if she had a party or friends over, either DH or I drove them home afterwards and waited to see they had got safely in the house.

Exactly this is what i would do and what I would expect any parent to do.

OP posts:
Clairey1986 · 18/08/2026 22:46

fumingrightnow1 · 18/08/2026 22:37

I don't know her well. I've seen her a couple of times. I'm going to see if i can find her on Facebook and message her

Show quote history

You don’t have her number? Your child was sleeping there?

If you don’t have her number, she probably doesn’t have yours, how was she supposed to contact you?

Nousernameideaaga · 18/08/2026 22:44

fumingrightnow1 · 18/08/2026 22:37

I don't know her well. I've seen her a couple of times. I'm going to see if i can find her on Facebook and message her

Show quote history

Good idea but I would stick to something simple like “thought you would be worrying so just wanted to let you know that dd arrived home safe”

Let her have a think about it

5foot5 · 18/08/2026 22:43

Sure your DD did a silly thing but was probably upset. Like you I am shocked that the Mum let her leave on her own.

In her position I would have first tried to calm things down between the girls. If they really weren't going to make up though my next suggestion would be to make up a spare bed in another room for your DD. If your DD was still adamant she wanted to go I would have either called you (preferable) or run her home myself.

When DD was a teenager if she had a party or friends over, either DH or I drove them home afterwards and waited to see they had got safely in the house.

Namechangingregularly · 18/08/2026 22:38

She’s home safe and sound is the main thing now. Next time make sure she knows to call you. Can’t say much about other mum because maybe she wouldn’t mind her daughter out at that time.

Original poster
fumingrightnow1 · 18/08/2026 22:37

Nousernameideaaga · 18/08/2026 22:33

Oh dear. That does change things a bit then.

Do you know the mum to speak to?

Show quote history

I don't know her well. I've seen her a couple of times. I'm going to see if i can find her on Facebook and message her

OP posts:
Motnight · 18/08/2026 22:36

Phone the mother and tell her you thought that she should know your DD arrived home safely. Her response will be very telling.

Famesick · 18/08/2026 22:35

Your daughter was kicked out (supposedly)
the mother apparently knew and didn’t care (supposedly)
your daughter was distraught

she didn’t call you Op. I would be focussed on that

Rinoachicken · 18/08/2026 22:34

Tutted, huffed and walked out does not necessarily mean she was aware you’re daughter actually left the house though.

Original poster
fumingrightnow1 · 18/08/2026 22:34

I'm not happy with dd for not calling me and I will be having a proper conversation with her tomorrow about that but right now im more annoyed with the adult in the situation.

OP posts:
StressedOutPeanut · 18/08/2026 22:34

fumingrightnow1 · 18/08/2026 22:32

The mum apparently walked in bedroom when friend was shouting at dd to get out and dd was crying and just shouted whats going on and when friend said she wanted dd to leave mum just tutted huffed and walked out. So I assume she heard it all neither girl is calm or quiet.

That's terrible she should of at least made sure she got home okay.

Famesick · 18/08/2026 22:33

fumingrightnow1 · 18/08/2026 22:32

The mum apparently walked in bedroom when friend was shouting at dd to get out and dd was crying and just shouted whats going on and when friend said she wanted dd to leave mum just tutted huffed and walked out. So I assume she heard it all neither girl is calm or quiet.

This is all your daughter’s version