So angry what is wrong with some parents

Everyone appalled that OP didn't know the mum's contact details - do you not have teenagers yet? Once your kids get to high school, you very rarely know the parents of their friends. There's no play dates to arrange, no school runs, it really is a step back and a big change from primary. Some of you might find this a bit of a shock!

I’m shocked at some of these answers. I definitely wouldn’t have wanted my child to be walking in the dark alone.

She’s home, she’s safe. It is likely the friends parents don’t even know she left. If the girls are known for being dramatic I would have just ignored them and let them work it out.

I would be having words with DD about not even letting you know she was walking home.

This is on your DD not the friends parents.

I would be annoyed too . The adult should have rang you or encouraged your dd to ring you first a lift. The friend essentially threw your dd out. Don’t be surprised if they do make up though.
i would get mums side but unless she says your dd stormed past and refused to stay/ring you. I would be clear I was unimpressed. I’d also speak to your dd and be clear she needs to ring you.

So you don’t have the mother’s phone number? I’m guessing she doesn’t have yours then either? How was she supposed to contact you?
Yes she could have dropped DD home but maybe she had younger children she couldn’t leave, maybe she’d had a glass of wine? Maybe despite the argument she didn’t actually know DD had left? I think you need to be having words with DD that she should have phoned to be collected.

I’d be annoyed but also very concerned as to why they chose not to

I’d be annoyed at my child for not calling me on the phone I provided and walking home knowing I wouldn’t let her.

Not the other mum.

Did the other mum definitely know? That’s the only thing I can think of. There’s no way I’d allow a young girl or boy to walk home alone at night if that happened in my house.

This is why I always refused my DD going to sleepovers unless I knew the parent and had their phone number...

Your daughter has come back very emotional and you are 100% taking her interpretation as gospel. Just pause and wait for this morning before chatting properly.

You describe your daughter not being a “quiet or calm” person. Would I be right in thinking maybe your daughter is not backward about being forward when it comes to high drama?

It sounds like you and Other Mum thought the girls were old and sensible enough to organise a sleepover, which you both assumed would be drama-free, hence not having each others phone numbers.

Given that, surely you would expect your DD to text or call you if she wanted to leave? I can completely understand a 14 year old being so full of whatever the row was about to not think about calling you tbh, but the responsibility was hers.

Glad she's home safe and sound, but you do need to set out your expectations re: contact with you in future.

If other mum knew your DD had left, she should have got your dad's number from her DD and called/texted you, but it's not clear that she knew

Not enough eye rolls in the world for this comment

Concerning. I would not want any child to walk home alone in dark.
Instruct your DD to phone her parents, phone a taxi or ask the other parent for a lift.

Exchange phone numbers and addresses with your DD's friend's parents.

Make a point of phoning the other girl tomorrow to ask for her mother's phone number. Phone the mother and tell her your DD arrived home safe but in future you both need to communicate if the girls are walking home alone.

It is very concerning, both the mum and her DD, clearly not giving a toss about your DD! Is it at least still a bit light at 10 pm?

A few things here. 14yo dd needs a chat tomorrow when emotions are more on the level about walking home in this situation or not etc. Your rules. Make a plan for the future etc.
The other parent should have made sure your dd got home safely. I for sure would not allow or be comfortable with any 14yo just walking out of my house unplanned at 10pm.
The issue here isn't whether 10pm is fine or not as some posters say thier 14yos do this but that ultimately if op dd never made it home for some reason tonight, op would have gone to bed tonight assuming dd was in bed at mates house and it would be some time tomorrow morning before anyone was aware something untoward had happened. Those that say thier 14yos walk home absolutely fine at this time, I assume are expecting thier dc to put in an appearance at home before 11pm??

Shocked that you let your daughter stay at someone’s house and you don’t even know her number.

My daughter and her friend used to sleep over at each other's houses much younger than that, in the days before mobile phones. Very nearby, a minute or 2. Nightmare though, as they inevitably fell out and one or the other would do a midnight flit. The other mum would sleep through it all but I being insomniac would be downstairs half awake waiting for the inevitable bang on the door.

Exactly, don’t blame the other mother

I would say that’s exactly what happens, teenagers storm off. The mother most likely assumed that DD would call you.

Your daughter knows you don’t allow her out at that time of the night by herself, so she defied you . She’s old enough to know better . She should have rang you but gave a weak excuse .

Odd that you didn’t have the mother’s phone number - and clearly she doesn’t have yours.

Sounds like @fumingrightnow1 does not have phone number of parent where daughter was staying overnight (WTF?), so other mum probably didn't have OP's number. How then could the other mum tell OP in a timely manner?

I suppose I would have told the girl to call her mother and wait in the sitting room, maybe that's what happened and the angry 14 year old said no thanks and flounced out into the night, that is also what I would have done at that age.

I would be fuming too. What the heck was the mother thinking? Had the worst happened, you would have no idea and assume that she was safe in her friend’s home.
This is not an overreaction. There has been too many incidents where young girls are assaulted when walking alone.
Yanbu.

Hope dd is ok.
I can understand her just going and wanting to get out and leave. The walk probably did her good HOWEVER I don’t think this is your dd’s fault. The other parent had a child in her care, who she is actually responsible for whilst at her home- she has failed this miserably.

Any decent parent would have sat your dd downstairs, called you or got dd to call you and CHECK of you are happy for dd to walk home alone whilst saying to her own dd wait upstairs.

Lesson learned but I do hope your dd is ok.

Unless you live somewhere rough then a 10 minute walk at age 14 should be fine.