So angry what is wrong with some parents

Class WhatsApp groups at high school??!!

Maybe things have changed since my kids left 3 years ago...

rememer the op knows absolutely nothing about the other mother. Maybe she has babies asleep and she’s a single mother, maybe she’d had a drink and was over the limit.
i would have spoken to your dd about what she wanted me to do if I was that parent, but I think this is mostly on your dd. She should have called you.

Remember you’re only hearing one side of the story. The mum could have offered to call you and your daughter say no. If it’s the end of the friendship, messaging the mum will put a nail in that coffin.

Awful for your DD but she obviously also should have called rather than walking alone in the dark… And yes the mother should have offered a lift, maybe she’d had a wine or two though and couldn’t?

At 14 - do you have teenagers? Unless your child has gone up to secondary w their primary school friends or you happen to know the parents, this is very common. You don’t know the parents.

But yes, I’d not particularly want my 14 year old walking home in the dark at 10pm. I can see why she just wanted to leave and may have risk assessed the situation herself.

Of course it is. There is CCTV and doorbell cameras everywhere, for a start, plus everyone carries a mobile phone.

I would wipe the floor with any child of mine who thought it was okay to treat a friend like that.
And, I'd either offer an alternate sleeping arrangement, call the friend's parents, plus make sure the friend got home okay.

I have read the thread thanks, and I still stand by my assertion that there are some areas which are far safer to walk in than others, and the OP may well have very good reasons for why she has decided that her teenager walking alone at 10ps is ill-advised in the particular area she lives.

No way would I have let an upset teen leave my house at 10pm to walk home, possibly not be able to get inside or have supervision. She didn't check if you were home or if your teen had a key.

Hopefully it is the end of the friendship but likely not.

I don't think you'll get anywhere with the mum. She sees things differently to you and won't change her mind. My mum would have behaved like this, no question and I have memories of other parents phoning in similar situations or worse, my mum just got angrier with me and then forgot about it.

I would not let your dd stay there again.

Of course it's not safer now, than 'back in the day,' what a ludicrous comment!

And I would rather children were mollycoddled than neglected.

A woman near me who doesn't give a shit about her kids didn't bother wondering were her SEVEN year old daughter was until it was getting dark - 9pm - sunset was 8.45pm. The little girl had been out since midday. She is seven!

Turned out she was moving about between the houses of 4 or 5 other children for those 9 hours and staying an hour or two at each one. Stupid mother didn't have a clue where she was, and simply said 'about fucking time' when she came in at 9.35pm. She had walked from this one girl's house (who is 10) at 9.20-9.25pm, when it was dark. 15 minutes walk. At 9.30pm. On her own!

The mum didn't give a shit...

Completely agree with this. Anything can happen in 10 minutes at 10 at night. The sky is practically black by then. Sunset is just before 8.30pm! Too many risks. I would never let my DC go to that house again if I were you @fumingrightnow1

YANBU at all OP. I would not be allowing my daughter to go to this girl's house again if I were you. It's shameful the way some parents don't give a shit about their children. Seriously, if you are a parent of a teenage girl (or younger than teen) and you're OK with her walking alone at 10 at night when it's pitch black, (even for 10 minutes!) have a word with yourself!

Children are mollycoddled today. People will say it’s different now. Yes, it’s far safer than back in the day. You have phones now and easily contactable

It’s a 10 minute walk. It’s not late. She’s 14. You are overreacting

Fair enough but you don’t just shrug and say ‘oh a sleepover, how lovely, off you go!’ That’s insane. They could be anywhere.

You invariably have their contact details from class what app groups

Don’t exaggerate. Actually read the thread maybe before making sweeping statements?

These type of threads always descend into everyone trying to show what cool relaxed parents they are. It doesn’t matter whether other people would let their own 14 year olds walk home at 10pm, all that matters here is that this particular child is not allowed. We have absolutely no idea of the type of area the OP lives in. We used to live in a really dodgy area and I wouldn’t walk alone at 10pm myself let alone let my teenage daughter do so. Not everyone is fortunate enough to live in a safe area!

She’s 14 and you let her stay at a strangers house that you didn’t even have contact details for.

I would not be worried about the walk home, the mother might have offered a lift and your daughter said no? I’d be more worried that she is sleeping somewhere else and you don’t even know them well enough. This is a lot more unsafe than a walk home.

You are the parent who took a chance with your child’s safety.

Presumably your parents knew you were doing that though? The OP didn’t even know her DD was coming home and wasn’t expecting her until morning…

Not long in daylight or dusk.

A 10 min walk for a 14 year old is fine. I was doing that from friends houses, getting the bus home as well at that time.

However, OP has her own standards so thats for her to decide. Although she also thinks its fine to have her child stay at someones house and she has no contact details from.

How long does it take to be grabbed or attacked?

But your daughter walked off?

Im also puzzled at how your child is sleeping at someone elses house and you havent spokent to the parent in the home to check, confirm, clarify, agree.

Is this what happens now, kids are just at someones house and you 'dont know her that well but I'll see if I can find her on facebook'

I think you need to look at your own parenting.

When i was 14 I used to walk home late in the dark by myself and was fine? It wasn't a big deal back then. My parents never seemed to mind either. I wonder if this generation are becoming much less independent. 14 isn't the same as 8/9. It was only a 10 minute walk. At that age I don't see why the parents should be getting involved.